Aa
My pregnancy happened for a reason...
I wanted to post my story as a reminder that sometimes there is a plan for our lives, even when it doesn't seem clear. My first DD was conceived easily, so we expected TTC #2 to be the same way. Month after month we were discouraged and devastated that I wasn't pregnant. Finally, 8 months after we started trying we were blessed with a BFP.
I found out very early into my pregnancy by ultrasound that I had a complex mass inside my abdomen. They sent me to a maternal/fetal specialist in St. Louis (2 hrs from my house) to be looked at. The doctor felt confident that it was a dermoid cyst. We chose NOT to have it removed during my pregnancy b/c of the risk of losing the baby. There was concern that the growing baby might cause the cyst to torque or rupture...causing extreme pain and the need for emergency surgery.
I was lucky that the cyst never presented a problem during my entire pregnancy and I underwent a planned c-section on November 23rd to delivery my DD and to also remove the cyst at the same time. A week after my daughter was born, the pathology returned that my cyst was malignant. My world was turned upside down and I was devastated. Add in pregnancy horomones to the mix, and you can imagine I was a mess.
I spent the next 5 weeks undergoing a battery of tests to determine the exact cause/location of the cancer. They were unsure which organ it was arising from or if it had spread. After a CT scan, colonoscopy, cystoscopy, and upper GI, everything seemed to be clear. My tumor was sent to both Mayo Clinic and to Barnes Hospital in St. Louis to have the pathology read. They have both concluded that it is early ovarian cancer. I will undergo exploratory laparoscopic surgery on January 26th to remove my ovary, appendix, biopsy some lymphnodes and check around my abdomen for other growths or signs of cancer. If everything goes well with my surgery and no other signs of cancer are seen, I will be in the clear and only have to be monitored by bloodwork every 3 months. We are all praying that my surgery goes well with no other signs of cancer so we can put this behind us and I can finally start to enjoy my new little family. My doctors are confident and I am finally starting to feel optimistic.
My cyst measured 8 cm but the cancerous part of my tumor only measured 0.1cm!!! All of the doctors have concluded that my little baby saved my life. If she would have come along any sooner the cancer would have been even smaller and probably overlooked during the pathology which could have been potentially devastating down the road. If she would have come along any later the cancer could have become widespread and unmanageable. The timing of her conception is absolutely amazing and it's hard for me not to believe that God had a hand in bringing her to our lives.
I know the pains and struggles of TTC...not nearly to the extent of many of you wonderful women...but I do understand the hurt and loss. This has helped me to realize the bigger picture, even though it was not clear at the time.
I found out very early into my pregnancy by ultrasound that I had a complex mass inside my abdomen. They sent me to a maternal/fetal specialist in St. Louis (2 hrs from my house) to be looked at. The doctor felt confident that it was a dermoid cyst. We chose NOT to have it removed during my pregnancy b/c of the risk of losing the baby. There was concern that the growing baby might cause the cyst to torque or rupture...causing extreme pain and the need for emergency surgery.
I was lucky that the cyst never presented a problem during my entire pregnancy and I underwent a planned c-section on November 23rd to delivery my DD and to also remove the cyst at the same time. A week after my daughter was born, the pathology returned that my cyst was malignant. My world was turned upside down and I was devastated. Add in pregnancy horomones to the mix, and you can imagine I was a mess.
I spent the next 5 weeks undergoing a battery of tests to determine the exact cause/location of the cancer. They were unsure which organ it was arising from or if it had spread. After a CT scan, colonoscopy, cystoscopy, and upper GI, everything seemed to be clear. My tumor was sent to both Mayo Clinic and to Barnes Hospital in St. Louis to have the pathology read. They have both concluded that it is early ovarian cancer. I will undergo exploratory laparoscopic surgery on January 26th to remove my ovary, appendix, biopsy some lymphnodes and check around my abdomen for other growths or signs of cancer. If everything goes well with my surgery and no other signs of cancer are seen, I will be in the clear and only have to be monitored by bloodwork every 3 months. We are all praying that my surgery goes well with no other signs of cancer so we can put this behind us and I can finally start to enjoy my new little family. My doctors are confident and I am finally starting to feel optimistic.
My cyst measured 8 cm but the cancerous part of my tumor only measured 0.1cm!!! All of the doctors have concluded that my little baby saved my life. If she would have come along any sooner the cancer would have been even smaller and probably overlooked during the pathology which could have been potentially devastating down the road. If she would have come along any later the cancer could have become widespread and unmanageable. The timing of her conception is absolutely amazing and it's hard for me not to believe that God had a hand in bringing her to our lives.
I know the pains and struggles of TTC...not nearly to the extent of many of you wonderful women...but I do understand the hurt and loss. This has helped me to realize the bigger picture, even though it was not clear at the time.
Wow Amy
This is an amazng story , about a miracle called god and his creations kids. God bless u n ur family. May u get well soon and enjoy ur coming years of motherehood to the fullest. Take care have faith. God bless.
This is an amazng story , about a miracle called god and his creations kids. God bless u n ur family. May u get well soon and enjoy ur coming years of motherehood to the fullest. Take care have faith. God bless.
God is so Good!!!! Your story is a blessing, it simply touched my heart!!! awe how God works everything out in our lives!!!! God is Good, and thats a testimony!
Thank you for sharing your testimony. It was truly a blessing. When we are going through our own trials and tribulations it seems as if the world is going to end. When we look back we learn the lesson God has set forth for us to learn. I know firsthand. I appreciate you sharing your story once again. God bless you and your family.
Your story almost brought tears to my eyes. I know what you mean about being a control freak and wanting everything to come timed. I've been trying to ttc for 3 years. Two years ago I was diagnosed with HPV and had a biopsy done. Luckily, that came back negative and have been getting checked up every 6 months. Then I had a fibroid in the cavity of my uterus. My RE had it removed because it was blocking the chanced of me getting pregnant. I just hope that there's nothing else wrong with me. After having 2 failed iui's I started to have doubts about God. But now I realized that everything happens for a reason and when it's suppose to happen.
Your story gave me hope again. I am praying hard for you guys!! Super duper hard!! Keep us informed and our prayers are with you. Hugs and love -
Jen
Jen
Nopes Amy, I didn't receive a message from you. Maybe you sent it to someone else :)
I was down initially but now am all geared up for the next round. And reading your story really strengthened my faith. God knows the best timing and we should just be patient and wait for it to happen when it is best for us. Thanks for the message!! And hugs back!
Sam.
I was down initially but now am all geared up for the next round. And reading your story really strengthened my faith. God knows the best timing and we should just be patient and wait for it to happen when it is best for us. Thanks for the message!! And hugs back!
Sam.
Sammy - I am so sorry to hear about your failed IUI. Please keep the faith and don't give up. I know it will happen for you! Hugs!
google_eyes...They said it was doubtful. Initially they thought the cyst was actually attached to my ovary and so I came to that conclusion on my own..."must have had trouble TTC b/c of that mass". But after the c-section they saw it was actually attached to the lining of my abdomen, near my bladder. So the docs say it had nothing to do with our TTC struggles??? Who knows! :)
Was there any relation between the cyst and you having difficulty getting pregnant?
ita17 - I *think* I sent you a private message...but now I'm wondering if I accidentally sent it to Sammy J?? :) LOL...sorry Sammy if I sent you a message accidentally!
I was wondering if you could tell me more about your lap surgery, recovery, etc...I'm trying to gauge how long I'll need to plan on for recovery time from work. :)
It's good they were proactive in removing your ovary since your levels did seem elevated. I have read that elevated levels to NOT always indicate cancer (in your situation) and that some people can HAVE cancer without elevated levels (in my situation!) LOL!
I was wondering if you could tell me more about your lap surgery, recovery, etc...I'm trying to gauge how long I'll need to plan on for recovery time from work. :)
It's good they were proactive in removing your ovary since your levels did seem elevated. I have read that elevated levels to NOT always indicate cancer (in your situation) and that some people can HAVE cancer without elevated levels (in my situation!) LOL!
My levels were in the 70's before I fell pregnant, thats why my old OB wanted to remove it asap. He even sent me to a very good oncologist here in UC Irvine, & he made me feel better, saying that he was 99.9% sure it wasn't ovarian cancer, said that anytime you have a "complex" mass in, or around your Ovaries, it will elevate your Ca125 levels. But when I was retested just 2 months later, (pg) they sky rocketed! I really felt that I was "okay" but I have to say, it has been a good thing that this did happen, it opened my eyes a lot, in many ways, & I also became very aware of a healthier way of living, mostly in the foods we were eating. My poor kids LOL when they have friends come over, they are apologizing for "not having any good food"!!! I try & buy as much organic *** possible ;) & we have very little processed foods at home. We DO eat out, but @ home they are not eating junk ;0)
Since, my mass was diagnosed/removed I have been MUCH healthier in my eating habbits, & I though I was healthy before!
I did LOADS of research about ovarian cancer-cancer in general, so if you want, pm me, & I would LOVE to share them w/you ;)
Since, my mass was diagnosed/removed I have been MUCH healthier in my eating habbits, & I though I was healthy before!
I did LOADS of research about ovarian cancer-cancer in general, so if you want, pm me, & I would LOVE to share them w/you ;)
I am glad my story has been helpful. I am a control freak in a lot of areas in my life so failure to conceive drove me nuts! I wanted it to happen on MY time, and fall into MY plan. It's so hard to believe in and see the bigger picture when you're in the middle of it but there IS a plan! :)
Ita17 - My CA125 at 1.5 weeks post c-section was elevated to 72 (0-35 being normal). My CA125 was retested again at 5 weeks post c-section and was a normal 22. :) I can't believe yours was in the 200s! They do say pregnancy and recent surgery can elevate levels...so that must have been what happened to both of us.
They say my ov cancer was caught soooo early that it's not surprising my levels say "normal" even though I still have my cancerous ovary intact. At least we have a baseline to follow with my bloodwork for the next few years.
Ita17 - My CA125 at 1.5 weeks post c-section was elevated to 72 (0-35 being normal). My CA125 was retested again at 5 weeks post c-section and was a normal 22. :) I can't believe yours was in the 200s! They do say pregnancy and recent surgery can elevate levels...so that must have been what happened to both of us.
They say my ov cancer was caught soooo early that it's not surprising my levels say "normal" even though I still have my cancerous ovary intact. At least we have a baseline to follow with my bloodwork for the next few years.
Wow Amy, that is a beautiful story and I've still got goosebumps from reading it.
My second IUI failed this week and I tried to console myself by saying that God will give me babies but His timing will be best. Now I can believe it whole-heartedly...
Thanks for sharing your story. I am amazed at and inspired by your strength and praying for your health and happiness.
Hugs,
Sam
My second IUI failed this week and I tried to console myself by saying that God will give me babies but His timing will be best. Now I can believe it whole-heartedly...
Thanks for sharing your story. I am amazed at and inspired by your strength and praying for your health and happiness.
Hugs,
Sam
That is a miracle....literally ;)
i can relate, I too had acomplex 9CM mass in my left ovary that was removed (along with my tube & ovary) I was stubborn & was avoiding surgery...I fell pg, while not ttc & I MC'd (blighted O) which I was very unhappy with my current OB, he wanted to open me up (before I got pg) & do surgery that way...well long story short, I was begining to MC & could not get a hold of him (bad office staff!) so I switched OBs & got in immedietly & he preformed lap surgery (what I originally wanted!) & all went well.
My DH & I both feel that that MC was so I would change OBs & get that gross mass out of me, even though it didn't have cancer cells, you just never know....it could have eventually, or have caused other serious problems for me.
The scary thing is that we've been ttc since April again (got pg after my surgery right away but had a missed MC @ 11 weeks) & I told my husband that I sure hope nothing else is wrong with me, because I've not been able to conceive again! Which was NEVER a problem before :(
Anyway, please keep us posted, I bet you are totally fine;o) enjoy you brandnew baby;o)
xxxxx's!
Ps what were you CA125 levels @? when I had mine, & I was pregnant they were pretty high, in the 200's!
i can relate, I too had acomplex 9CM mass in my left ovary that was removed (along with my tube & ovary) I was stubborn & was avoiding surgery...I fell pg, while not ttc & I MC'd (blighted O) which I was very unhappy with my current OB, he wanted to open me up (before I got pg) & do surgery that way...well long story short, I was begining to MC & could not get a hold of him (bad office staff!) so I switched OBs & got in immedietly & he preformed lap surgery (what I originally wanted!) & all went well.
My DH & I both feel that that MC was so I would change OBs & get that gross mass out of me, even though it didn't have cancer cells, you just never know....it could have eventually, or have caused other serious problems for me.
The scary thing is that we've been ttc since April again (got pg after my surgery right away but had a missed MC @ 11 weeks) & I told my husband that I sure hope nothing else is wrong with me, because I've not been able to conceive again! Which was NEVER a problem before :(
Anyway, please keep us posted, I bet you are totally fine;o) enjoy you brandnew baby;o)
xxxxx's!
Ps what were you CA125 levels @? when I had mine, & I was pregnant they were pretty high, in the 200's!
Thank you for sharing this story! God certainly takes care of us and these things are all in his plan :)
What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing! It is difficult to stay focused on the plan that God has for us, especially in the TTC journey. It seems so personal, and sometimes it seems God isn't on your side....but He always is.
Good luck to you and I will pray for you that you have a good outcome. I'm sure you will....it was all good timing....
Heather
Good luck to you and I will pray for you that you have a good outcome. I'm sure you will....it was all good timing....
Heather
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