First let me say that I have had 2 normal pregnancies my daughter is currently 4 and my son will be 9 in august. We would like another child but after all of this, I am scared to go through anything again without knowing if the baby will be ok. I currently have PCOS and plan to keep it under control by monitoring it and take metformin to keep my cycles regular. I did this before my two losses. My story is April of 08 we decided we wanted to start trying for another child so in May of 08 when I did not receive AF I took a test neg few days later nada and neg, went to the dr neg. I felt pregnant and no bloodwork was done. Two months after no AF went back, I had spotting then only they said nothing, so I think it was a molar pregnancy. Well we decided to go on to a specialist instead of waiting and was diagnosed with PCOS in November I had a early miscarriage at 6 weeks. In May after several rounds of clomid and hcg triggers I became pregnant with our son Jacob, pregnancy was rough sick constantly then unexpectally our son was diagnosed with no fetal tones. He had passed away at 19 weeks 6 days from a true knot. So after that gall bladder was removed and feeling great, expect just sick thought was from the surgery, I found out in Jan that I was 11 weeks and I was so shocked couldnt believe it. I was closely monitored and was doing perfect. Then all of a sudden on 2/25/10 I got sick, went to the er and seen my baby moving thought everything was ok and just needed fluids after not being able to get a good heartrate since he was moving so much we decided to get a portable xray he was sucking his thumb but they couldnt hear the heart beating just see it. Well we decided to go to ultrasound and 5 min later Carter's heartbeat was gone. I couldnt believe it at 17 weeks and a few days he was gone. Autopsy came back clear, just a unexpected loss. I am still numb over it all since its been 5 weeks but I had a HSG thursday which was clear and my chart doesnt indicate anything wrong with me waiting for two more tests which my RE thinks will be normal.
My question is, has anyone went through this and have any children or should I just give up hope and try to adopt a baby? I am blessed with my two children I have now, and thank god everyday for them but my heart still aches for a baby and I know that personally thats the only thing that will help me cope with it all. I know he/she will not replace my Carter or Jacob but he/she will help me. My husband doesnt want to give up, I am ready to get rid of everything and just try to move on. But I need someones advice or hope that it will happen.
Thanks to you all
Mommy to Tanner 8/9/01, Kyleigh 4/4/06, angel Jacob Lukas 9/10/09, and angel Ashton Carter 2/27/10