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Trying to get pregnant using donor eggs

Hello--I am a 40+ woman trying to get pregnant using donor eggs.  I recently had a fresh 5-day transfer of donor eggs.  Today, I am 7-days past the 5-day transfer.  I have read online that many, many women can tell if they're pregnant or not by now using a home pregnancy test.  Well, I just took a First Response home pregnancy test, and the result was a BFN.  This is my second time using fresh donor eggs.  The first time was a fail.  I am very concerned that this is also a fail, especially since I am experiencing no symptoms (just like the last cycle).  Isn't it true that a BFN at this point is more than likely accurate?  Thank you for any insight!  --Sabrina
Best Answer
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Your testing too early...
Here is a breakdown

Good luck and baby dust!!!!!

5-Day Transfer
Days Past Transfer (DPT)

One- The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two  -The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three - The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four  - Implantation continues
Five - Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six  - Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven - Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight -Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine - Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy
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Avatar universal
Hi Sabrina4Babies, I have read your stories related to the last year, I was wondering whether you have had successful pregnancy? I really hope so
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Avatar universal
Hello MHV--I know it's been a while, but I just wanted to thank you for being there for me when I was feeling scared, hopeless, alone, and really down.  They say your spouse should always be your #1 support, but sometimes, another woman who's been there and done that and who really understands is the best support.  You gave me hope, strength, and the courage to move forward in my life and do what I felt in my heart was the right thing.  Women for women.  I'm so glad there are people like you out there for people like me!  God bless you!!!  
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
The other place to check out it NEDC for embryo donation
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I will help you anyway I can!!!
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Well, I think you are smart.  Do your homework, get all your ducks in a row, then present it all.  That's what I did.  I researched shady grove amd attain IVF.  Got all the prices and programs amd presented them in a presentation.  He was like our husband too....done.  
No we just have the twins :). Our first and only.  They were achieved by donor embryos, and we actually just donated our 6 remaining embryos to another family.  The original family had boy, girl twins too.  She donated 10 embryos to us.  Our first cycle was a bfn, and we got pregnant with our twins on our second transfer.  If I were 10 years younger, I would have pushed for more, but I was 45 when the twins were born, so, not in the cards for us :)
You go ahead and lean on me!  That's how I became so educated...the ladies on here!!!'
Honestly, I would not give your clinic another dime.   And only 2 embryos?  Most clinics will give you all remaining embryos from a batch.
I would call all clinics in your state, and see what thedir programs are.
Are you able to/willing to travel???  
Here is what I learned about donor embryos....
They should cost you the cost of the lawyer fees (if you do personal donation)
Amd the cost of the clinics FET.   Again, our donor approached us on here...and it costs us about $1100 for lawyer fees, and $600 for transferring them from TX to OH (you can look at my journal named Another Bump in the Road) to see why....
I do know there is a huge donation place FIRM,  That does donor embryos, and ladies love them!!!!   I think they cost a little more, but seem to have wonderful feedback :)
There are a few websites that match donors looking for people to donate to.
Like I said, just let thinks sit for a little bit with your husband. Then, when you,have your thoughts together....you can approach him again :)

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
By the way, in addition to your 21-month old twins (boy & girl?), do you have other children?  Do you think you'll try for anymore kiddies?  I haven't really said anything to my husband about the meeting with my doctor yesterday.  I want to digest everything and think things out first before I bring up another cycle.  I did mention to him, though, that the doctor suspects it's his sperm that may be the issue .... and boy did he get angry & defensive!  Funny how things are---instead of discussing feelings and possibilities with him, I'm turning to you .... and getting so much more support and comfort!   Yes, only today, I have been seriously considering donor embryos as a possibility.  My clinic has a limited few frozen donor embryos, so I will look into that more.  The cost at my clinic for frozen donor embryos is $5,000 for 2 w/ no guarantees. While they have some information about the biological parents, they don't have any photos.  Does this sound pretty standard?  Thanks for being there for me!!!!
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
There is another shared risk program I want you to look into...it's called Attain IVF.
It really pisses me off that they are covering your meds and the donor meds!  That's the cheapest part of the process!!!!!
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Ok, this is just ridiculous!  I am going to suggest you get a second opnion with shady grove.  They are close to you, and will give you an honest opinion.  They are experts in the donor area.  
They have a marvelous donor program too.
We will deal with your husband after this appointment.  :)
It's ok, you need this time to heal, and it's ok to slow down, and make some decisions.
And, to convince your hubby.

I also want to know if you have ever considered donor embryos?? Lots of clinics have a donor embryo programs, and there are sites you can connect with people looking to donate....
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Avatar universal
My head is spinning & my heart aches.  I am taking all your good advice to heart.  I will make an appointment with another fertility clinic, show them my records, and at the very least, get a second opinion.  I will also see if my clinic will allow me to have a meeting with the embryologist.  In the meantime, about the "free cycle," this is what I learned about what the deal really is:  my clinic pays for all the medical expenses for me and my donor.  However, I have to pay out-of-pocket for the donor's fee ($5,000); her travel expenses to DC ($4,000); the agency fee (4,000); and now the PGD testing fee ($4,000).  Doesn't sound very "free" to me, now!  I feel like a sunken ship.  :(
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Out of curiosity, what wrw the embryos on your first cycle?
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I have heard of pgd, but I honestly think she is wrong!!!!   I have an idea, you tell her you want that free cycle, with pgd (at the clinics expense!).
I honestly think this is a clinic issue!!!  Day 5 embryos are always going to be better then day 6 embryos.  And it makes me believe it even more that they know these embryos aren't the greatest when they transferred 3 day 6 embryos!!!  I dont know why an RE would transfer 3 high quality embryos (day 6 or 5)...too much of a chance of tripletts.  
I hate that this clinic has put you through hell, and that your husband is buying into their BS.  There is nothing wrong with "his sperm"
Did you ask to speak with the embryologist??  You NEED to do that!!!  To get their take on why a donors eggs are taking 6 days to make it to blast...and what is the ideal donor is in their opinion before you pick this last donor.
Your husband is letting a crappy situation decide if you two  should be parents.
1 other thing I would highly recommend you ask for a copy of ALL of your medical records with them, and the reports on your embryos, and get a second opinion.  
It was the way I learned my embryos were crap from our first round....
Your husband is hurt, I get it.  You need to get proof that this is a clinic issue, not a "you" issue.


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Avatar universal
Hello MHV & SusannaL-- Well, I had my appointment with my doctor today, and she said she was really surprised that this last donor cycle didn't work.  As you know, three 6-day blasts were transferred.  One was a Grade 1 & two were Grade 3 blasts.  She said if she were me, she would take advantage of the free cycle and if that didn't work, she would just give up and move on with her life knowing that at least she tried really hard.  Anyway, she said if I went ahead and did another donor cycle, I should have PGD testing done.  Right now, she suspects that the problem for my failed cycles is because of my husband's sperm, even though his sperm was already tested and the results indicated that there was nothing abnormal.  I haven't yet said anything to my husband yet.  He still maintains his position of not doing anymore cycles, free or otherwise.  Have any of you heard of PGD testing?  Do cycles with PGD testing usually result in a BFP?  Thanks for any insight you can throw my way!
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Some doctors want to only transfer 1 if the quality of the embryos is high.  To reduce the chance of multiples.  But, for us, it is a gamble.  Especially when pay out of pocket.  That's why I would never agree to just 1...but soe clinics really push for it.  
Sabrina, you push and push for that free cycle!  They owe you at least that!!!  Demand it!  This clinic has taken enough of you money!  
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Avatar universal
Hi SusannaL--I totally understand everything you've said.  Why would your doctor only transfer 1 embryo?  That seems so unfair!  Anyway, I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow for another consultation re options and possibly doing the free cycle.  If I do go through with another cycle (if I can convince my husband which will be yet another challenge), it'll probably occur in June or July.  Maybe we can start our cycles the same time and go through the process together!
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Avatar universal
Hi Sabrina, I am also so sad, also a little mad at my doctor who would only put one embryo back in- I told him I just don't think I will get pregnant with one, and I was right. I have still got one embryo left, so I will have another FET but not until next month, I just can't face another uterine scratch just yet, the last was really painful. But, I just can't see it working for me, I was feeling quite hopeful with this last cycle and now I'm right back down to earth again. My husband will agree to another FET but not I think to donor eggs/embryos, so I don't think I have any more options left after this next cycle. I just don't know if I can let it go though?
I really think you should go ahead with your free cycle, it seems like a terrible waste not to use it? Good luck with seeing your doctor, I always find those visits stressful because it forces you to think about all the painful stuff, and face the possibility that they might say you're wasting your time with further cycles.
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I 100% agree. Quality over quantity.  But, it's not unreasonable to think or expect 4-12 embryos to result from a younger donor.  
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Avatar universal
Hi SusannaL--I'm so sorry to hear about your beta results.  I'm in the same boat.  My results came back on Monday & it was a BFN.  I'm more than sad.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do now.  My husband is totally against trying again.  I'm meeting with my doctor (solo) next week to discuss why she thinks the cycle didn't work & to also discuss the free cycle that the clinic is offering me.  What are you going to do now?  
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Avatar universal
By the way, I don't know whether you should always expect to get frozen as well as fresh embryos with every cycle? My first few rounds of IVF were all unsuccessful, but they produced a lot of embryos, fresh and frozen. When I transferred to the more expensive clinic I am with now (genea/ Sydney IVF- best clinic in Australia according to outcomes, which are measured in a standardised fashion in Australia, so pretty reliable data) my current guy told me because I tend to get hyperstimulation, I was producing a large number but not necessarily the best quality embryos. He has since been trying to reduce the total number but increase the quality by being more judicious with the hormones. So, no frozen embryos for me from the last few cycles, but I did get a pregnancy from my fresh transfer. So maybe it depends?
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Avatar universal
Oops sorry, didn't see your last post. Yes I am a little concerned about the future risks- I guess ovarian or endometrial cancer from all the stimulation would be the most likely outcome. Having said that, there's not a lot of evidence that it makes that much difference- maybe increases your risks by a few percent per lifetime. Breast cancer is still much much more likely to knock you off. But if you get ovarian cancer you're a goner, because its usually pretty asymptomatic until its spread and treatment is difficult. I guess if you start to get lower abdominal pains and bloating, go along to the GP and get a pelvic ultrasound.
Honestly though, there's so many things that can take you off, I don't really worry much about it. Cheery thoughts for you!
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Avatar universal
Sorry slow to reply Sabrina, have done a few home tests and then had the formal bhcg - negative negative negative. Am very sad. Maybe you had some good news? I am sending you good wishes and hope anyway...
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Avatar universal
Hello MHV and  SusannaL--I have a doctor's appointment next week to discuss potential options for me, if any, including the free cycle.  I was just wondering, were any of you ever worried about all the meds that had to be taken for the cycles and what the health risks may be long-term?  I'm a little concerned about that!
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Avatar universal
Hello MHV and  SusannaL--I have a doctor's appointment next week to discuss potential options for me, if any, including the free cycle.  I was just wondering, were any of you ever worried about all the meds that had to be taken for the cycles and what the health risks may be long-term?  I'm a little c
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Avatar universal
MHV--Wow, you have given me much to think about.  I will do some research tonight.  I never knew there was a website that posted clinics' success rates!  Thank you!  :)
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I don't mean to scare you.  It's just what I learned on here.  
Not everyone can be "the best".   And you don't necessarily need to go to "the best", but you have to do your home work.  I know this is only your second cycle with donor eggs. But, I do question why no frozen in either cycle.  
These are from "proven donors" did they have frozen in their other cycles?  

Again, there is a person on here Missenal, that went though pretty much what you are going through.  Try to leave her a message and see if she responds.  She was in the same type program as you, and I know she finally got frozen from her "free cycle".  

You can look at the SART site to see what your clinics success rates are...if they supply them.

I have seen others on here fail at 1 clinic, then go to another and be successful.  But I have also seen people try and the same clinic and find success too, and on the first time, many times.  But sometimes it takes more then 2 or 3...that's why you get the programs that give you the free tries. I wish I would have went that route...back in the beginning...

I see no reason you shouldn't be able to conceive...you have a normal uterus, no immune issues,  to me, looks like an embryo issue....if that makes sense??  
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