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Trying to get pregnant using donor eggs

Hello--I am a 40+ woman trying to get pregnant using donor eggs.  I recently had a fresh 5-day transfer of donor eggs.  Today, I am 7-days past the 5-day transfer.  I have read online that many, many women can tell if they're pregnant or not by now using a home pregnancy test.  Well, I just took a First Response home pregnancy test, and the result was a BFN.  This is my second time using fresh donor eggs.  The first time was a fail.  I am very concerned that this is also a fail, especially since I am experiencing no symptoms (just like the last cycle).  Isn't it true that a BFN at this point is more than likely accurate?  Thank you for any insight!  --Sabrina
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Your testing too early...
Here is a breakdown

Good luck and baby dust!!!!!

5-Day Transfer
Days Past Transfer (DPT)

One- The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two  -The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three - The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four  - Implantation continues
Five - Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six  - Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven - Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight -Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine - Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy
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Avatar universal
I truly hope you're right.  I've been disappointed so many times before with BFNs.  
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I totally understand.  Believe me....it took us many tries over before we were successful....long story.   Hopefully, you will get your happy ending this time!!!!!!
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Avatar universal
Please tell me your long story.  Did you go through a few failed IVF cycles?  Did you use donor eggs?  I know your story had a happy ending (all that matters), but I could really use your support.  Maybe you really do understand what I'm going through and how I'm feeling!  
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Well, you can read my profile for the long version...lol...

Over the coarse of to long of time.....
But short version.. Went straight to donor eggs, did 5 transfers total.  All unsuccessful. (1 m/c)
Had 3 surgeries to remove uterine scarring.
Had an amazing person on here donate remaining embryos to us,  1st transfer bfn, 2nd transfer I got pregnant with my now 21 month old twins!!  

It was worth every heartbreaking step we went through!!!  I was 45 when they arrived :-)
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Avatar universal
It's really something ... all of us women trying to conceive/tried to conceive all have an amazing story to share.  Just when I thought I was all alone suffering and crying and hoping and praying -- and feeling very sorry for myself for all that I've had to go through -- I meet someone like you who's been through a ton, as well.

I am on my 7th IVF cycle.  The last one and this current one are with fresh donor eggs.  I have nothing frozen.  The doctor was so confident that this cycle was going to work.  My blood test is scheduled for next week Monday.  However, since my 5-day transfer, I have been testing daily with First Response at home and always the results have been BFN.  As with all the other cycles, I feel no pg symptoms.  In fact, my body feels very normal.

My husband says he's done with trying -- that it's been very hard on him.  Of course, if this cycle doesn't work, I would love to try once more.  But he tells me that maybe this is God's way of saying that it's just not meant to be.

I'm trying to think positive, but I've read on so many websites that woman by now can tell if they're pg with home pregnancy tests.  I just don't understand.

:(
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Avatar universal
And congratulations to you for finally succeeding with twins!  It's so wonderful to hear happy-ending stories!  It proves that never giving up has its rewards!
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Avatar universal
By the way, did you say you ended up using donor embryos? If so, were you nervous about that?  Did you know what the parents looked like?  
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I got my hubby to look at it another way.  
Instead of looking at it as God doesn't want you,to be parents (which ask him if he God wants drug addicts and alcoholics to be parents, cause that happens a lot...)
I looked at it as you just haven't "met" the kids you were suppose to have.  If that makes sense....
I look back on things, and if any of our other 6 transfers would have worked, I would have never been able to meet my twins :).  They were meant for us :).  

Yes, we used donor embryos. :). A person on this site donated them to us.  Her twins were born before we received them.  There is a little over a year between them.  Yes, we knew what the genetic characteristics were.  :)
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
There iare so many ladies on here that struggled so long before reaching their dreams.  I would have quit long before I was successful if it weren't for for the support and education of the ladies on ths site.

I will tell you that around 90% of the ladies that don't give up, go on to become successful.  Either from going to IUI, to IVF, to donor eggs to donor embryos.  Yes, it's a boatload of $$, but I can tell you after reaching the other side, I would have spent twice as much.
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Avatar universal
Wow!  Your story is marvelous -- no, it's miraculous!   I'm not a very religious person, but I think your experience is truly one of Divine intervention!!!  Your story goes so far beyond ordinary that I know you couldn't have been just 'lucky.'  You had to have been 'deserving.'  

Today is 8dp5dt, and the hpt test was still a BFN.  At this point, I'm not surprised.  Women have a certain intuition, and I know this cycle failed, again.  

What did the doctor say was the reason why your donor egg transfers failed?  At what point did you decide to give up on donor egg cycles?

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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Well, read my profile..lol...the doc retrieved the eggs to late, made them  non viable...kept saying it was me...consulted with 2 more RE's whom informed me of this.

We were looking into a 100% refund program for our next donor cycle when the person on here approached me.  We talked about it, and with donor embryos being "free" (+ cost of lawyer fee, meds, and fet) decided it was the best option for us.  At that point, the moon man could have dropped off a purple baby and we would have jumped for joy!!!  

We were and are very blessed! We definitely have an angel in our lives :)  I thank her everyday :) We are still close  too.   We talk, email, and text all the time and are actually going to meet their family in Aug!  I am so excited!!!
We share pics of the kiddos too :).

I think you just have to find the story that is written for you.  You cannot give up....and who knows, tomorrow just might bring that bfp!

May I ask where you live??  
You know, I have talked more then 1 hubby on this site into giving it another try...lol...one now has twins, and the other a little boy :).
You have to remember....he wants a baby. Bad as you!!!
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Avatar universal
I l
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Avatar universal
Oops ... I pressed the wrong button.  

I live in DC.  Where do you live?
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Avatar universal
Hi Sabrina, I had 16 ivf cycles both fresh/ frozen, all my own eggs, over 4 and a half years before I got my beautiful 3 yr old with my 17th cycle. I am currently day 4 post 5 day transfer of my 18th cycle and am also trying not to home test because I know it's probably too early. My husband wanted to stop many times but I talked him around each time- he said it was ok if it was just us, but I said it would never be ok for me. Maybe you've got a way to go, but maybe it's going to be the next cycle, and if that was the case, you could handle one more, right? Good luck....
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Avatar universal
Well, it's 3:30 in the morning and I can't fall back asleep.  It's amazing how all-consuming this pregnancy thing can be!  Anyway, I just took another hpt and the result at 9dp5dt was a BFN.  Pretty sad.  

MHV--By any chance, do you wear glasses?  I'm only asking because I had a dream that you came to me to offer your support and comfort.  It was very nice.  Oh well, even if you don't wear glasses, I know it was you in my dream.  You're very kind!  :)
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Avatar universal
Hi SusannaL--I've always been pretty embarrassed to admit to doing 7 IVF cycles. I worry that it makes me look like I'm in denial about not being able to get pregnant.  I can't believe you're on your 17th cycle!  Hasn't it been pretty costly for you?  As for your hubby, good job on convincing him to continue on!  My husband would've long left me!  In fact, he's already fuming at me for considering yet another cycle!  Believe it or not, we've gone through some seriously major conversations/fights about these cycles.  Each time, I convince him to go along with the next cycle by promising it would be the last time, whether it works or not.  Well, I've lost all credibility in his eyes now.  

Regarding your cycles, did the one cycle that produced your beautiful 3-year old feel any different than the rest?  Did you have pg symptoms before your beta test?  Did you even use a hpt?  If so, on what day did you test positive?
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Avatar universal
Hi Sabrina, I am in Australia so the payment system is a little different and until a few years ago after 2 cycles in a year you got almost 80% back on the other cycles, so it was much better value if you went hell for leather. I felt pregnant for all my cycles, I am really sensitive to the hormones and I had several episodes of hyper stimulation syndrome, so it was all bloating and sore swollen breasts until the negative test came. I have never done a home test before, because although the 2 ww was horrible, I could also believe for a short time I was pregnant before the inevitable negative test result. But I am  thinking of doing one with this cycle, because I just really want to know.  I told my husband that I couldn't give up because it was the only thing that mattered to me, and if I lost hope I wouldn't want to be alive anymore. He accepted then that as long as my specialist thought it was reasonable to continue, I needed to continue. The year I became pregnant with my daughter they changed the rebates and our last cycle cost $8000 and I knew we would not be able to afford another however much I wanted it, so we were truly lucky that she came when she did. The only difference with that cycle was they put back 2 embryos rather than one, but now I've had a pregnancy my specialist won't agree to that again. So, good luck with your husband and with your next cycle if this one doesn't work out.
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Avatar universal
Hi SusannaL--I still haven't fallen back to sleep, so please forgive me if my sleep deprivation is making me ask stupid questions.

If Cycle 17 cost $8000, how much did this current cycle, Cycle 18, cost? Also, when is your Beta/blood test?  Please keep me posted on the results of your hpt and beta/blood tests!  (My blood test is next Monday.) I have my fingers crossed for you!
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Avatar universal
This one is a frozen embryo transfer, with a monitored natural cycle only, and progesterone pessaries. They are reasonably cheap, about $4500, and you get back about $600 on private health care, and I think about $1800 on Medicare. So about $2100 out of pocket, less than 2 wks of my pay. Pretty good, can't complain about that.
Fresh cycles are pretty expensive, we need icsi because my husband doesn't produce good sperm, so probably about $11000 and I think you get about 1/3 back. I'm 41 now, so my chances would be probably around 20% per cycle, and I get pretty sick with meds and hormones, so I don't know if I could face that again, even if we could afford it. We have one more frozen embryo we could use, and I think if they both don't work, I think we're done. These frozen ones are from when I was 35, so my chances are about 30% per embryo, so they are the best and cheapest option I have. My specialist didn't say I would have no hope with a fresh cycle but he certainly sounded a lot less positive. Using the frozen ones also ends the angst I feel every 6 months when I get the bill for them- am I going to use them, should I try again etc- I am hoping using them will feel like an ending, and allow me to move on with my life, regardless of the outcome. Otherwise the constant lure of just one more time- it's like a gambler, I know it isn't likely I'll win the lottery but I can't stop because maybe the next cycle is the one....
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Avatar universal
Well, SusannaL, I must say that I completely understand everything you're saying.  Before becoming a member of this forum, I have read tons of posts and stories on other websites from women trying to get pregnant.  I sometimes wondered just how factual and genuine they were.  For example, I wondered if some women said their results were positive (when really they weren't) just to elicit good feelings from the forum community and hence by doing so, enabled themselves to build their damaged hopes. I wasn't sure.

But I do know that both you and MHV are genuine.  In just your words alone, I sense so much emotion and can relate to so, so much of what you both have gone through and felt.  It's pretty difficult and embarrassing, I think, to volunteer some of these sensitive experiences, unless of course, they are all true.

The cost in the States to do IVF without insurance coverage is high, and to do a fresh donor cycle is even more expensive (For me, around $30,000 -- donor agency, donor fee, meds, egg retrieval, transfer, etc.).  The clinic that I go to has a deal where after the second donor IVF cycle, the third one is free (I think many clinics here offer some sort of deal to help offset costs).  Even with the free deal thing, my husband is set on stopping.  He says enough is enough and that it's time for me/us to move on with our lives. I made a huge promise to him and to myself at the beginning of this current cycle that this would be our last, and now that I believe the cycle has failed, I desire so much to take advantage of the free cycle that my clinic is offering.  I am crying right now as I'm writing all of this to you because I feel like such a liar.  I'm older than you (late 40s), and I'm beginning to wonder if there's something mentally and/or emotionally wrong with me.  I already have three beautiful and healthy children with my husband. I got married late and started having children late.  They were all naturally conceived, believe it or not.  I love them very much, and I thank God every day for them. But I really don't have any real skills or a career.  All I know is how to be a mom, and I think I'm extremely good at it.  I absolutely love being a mom, and nothing would make me feel more complete and satisfied than to blessed with one last child.  I wonder if you can understand me.
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Well, first off, I would wonder why your donor cycles have never produced frozen embryos.  
To me, that is a little odd..  Why is your doctor saying it's not working?  Have you done immune testing?  Some docs don't believe in it, but something has to be going on.  My 7th cycle, the one that worked,  I told prednisolone before and for,the first 7 weeks of my pregnancy.  It was my only successful transfer.  It lowers,the immune system do it doesn't reject the embryos.  It kinda makes sense since you are putting a foreign object into your body.

2nd off, if you do get a BFN, and your next cycle is free, how could you not go for it???  It's free!  I completely understand the heartache part.
And THEY OWE IT TO YOU!  

Start looking around on this site...there are so many ladies that did so many transfers before they were successful.  
One that pops into my head right off is Missenal.  She did several rounds using her sisters eggs, then several rounds doing donor eggs before she was successful.
Most ladies post their stories on their profiles.  
You are not alone in this journey!  Many have done as many and more transfers as you.  

I used to wear glasses, but had laser vision correction 12 yrs ago :)
If you click on my screen name, and go to my page, and look at my pics, there are a few of me in there :)

I live in Ohio.  Btw...we are pretty darn close!  I was wondering because there is an awesome clinic near you shady grove that offers a 100% money back guarantee on donor cycles.

But, you first gotta use the free one the clinic owes you!!!'
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Avatar universal
Hello MHV--my first 5 cycles were with my own eggs.  My doctor did many tests on me and said that I stood a chance of conceiving using my own eggs, despite my advanced age.  Anyway, I always produced around 12 eggs, and while all would fertilize, there would only be 3 or 4 remaining by Day 5 to transfer.  My doctor would always transfer all of the remaining eggs -- just because I had the odds stacked against me due to being over 40.  Cycle 1 resulted in a chemical pregnancy.  Cycles 2,3,4 & 5 were all just BFNs.  For Cycle 6, we used a fresh donor egg transfer from a proven donor.  She produced 12 eggs and by Day 5, there were only 2 left to transfer.  That resulted in a BFN.  For Cycle 7 (current cycle), we used a different donor -- younger lady -- per the advice of my doctor.  By day 4 post her retrieval, the embryos had slowed their growth, so instead of a 5-day transfer, we did a 6-day transfer.  By Day 6, there were only 3 Blastocysts, so the doctor transferred all 3, hoping and praying that at least 1 would take.  There was nothing left to freeze.  Well, here I am at 9dp5dt and I feel anything but prego.

Yes, my doctor did put me on prednisone and everything else -- you name it.  We did all kinds of tests to make sure I was physically fit to conceive.  Even my husband was tested -- and passsed.  So, why haven't we conceived yet is the million dollar question!!!  (This is the part when my husband answers:  "Cause it's just not meant to be!")

I've heard of Shady Grove Fertility and other clinics near me that provide appealing arrangements.  However, I like the doctors at my clinic, and I already have so much medical history with them.  

At this point, because of my age, finances, battling with my husband about additional cycles, etc., I'm ready to call it quits and move on .... AFTER THE FREEBIE CYCLE.

Gee, it all makes perfect sense to me to take advantage of the free cycle, but for whatever reason, my husband doesn't agree.  He says he's tired of trying and wants to move on with his life. He says to just be grateful for what we have.

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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Give him time.  He will come around.
There is a lady on here you should connect with.  Plumber43.  She tried several times with her own eggs,before moving on to frozen donor eggs.  I really think she would be a great support and a wealth of advice for you.

I understand the liking your doctor thing,..I do.  But, the one thing I have learned in my 5 years on this site is not all clinics are created equal.  I do not think it is you with the "problem" of getting pregnant.  I just dont think you have been given the best chance possible yet.  :(
That is just my opinion.  
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