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211043 tn?1337050701

got the call

it's negative - I killed them
14 Responses
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Avatar universal
no you didn't.  it just didn't work this time.  you will get there, you will.
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294043 tn?1354207946
Oh, I am so sorry...
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186627 tn?1257877774
Oh no.I'm so sorry.I know how you feel believe me.But if I remember well you have some snow babies left.
Hopefully next cycle will work!
(((HUGS)))
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Avatar universal
Oh sweety, I am sorry.  You did NOT kill them.  Please don't put that on yourself.  I have been through 5 unsuccessful IVF cycles (10 embryos transferred) and I know how easy it is to play the blame game, but it will lead you to a bad place.  I know that now is not the time to push optimism, so just be nice to yourself right now and know that it is okay to be sad, angry, whatever you feel-let it out.  
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Avatar universal
It will definitely work next cycle. Sorry about it.
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211043 tn?1337050701
As for the frozen babies, they told me they wanted to give the other 3 another day to see if they progressed, and they would send me a letter if they got any to freeze - I never got a letter so I asked today and they said there are none on ice either. :o(

I have a new plan, and that is to focus as much attention as I have on taking 50 billion pills a day on time and doing this and doing that, and shift my focus to exercising and losing weight.  It can only help with my PCOS and only increase my chances.  I'm not **** anymore hormones until I at least lose some.  If the endo comes back, I'll just have to have another lap.  It wasn't that terrible.  I'm determined to TRY to make this happen naturally first.  I know I gotta lose at least 30 pounds for that to be a possibility and that will take a long time with PCOS, but hey, even if I can't get it to work naturally after losing weight, it's not like the weight loss is a bad thing!  And I'm only 32 so besides the issue of the endo coming back, I've got time.

I am however giving myself a week or so to eat what I want and do what I want and just relax.  I've been on too tight of a regimen for too long now to keep stressing about stuff.  I need at least a little break.  Goat cheese and wine....here I come!
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414225 tn?1247455500
Am so sorry....there are SO many of us that know how you feel!  You had nothing to do with their survival or not.  One thing that all the RE's have not figured out is successful implantation.  If you feel you need a break, then that's the right thing to do!  If you want help with the weight loss thing...my personal trainer that I had before the wedding led me to a website called www.fitday.com.  The focus is 50% protein, 30% carbs and 20% fats...it's a lifestyle NOT a diet...has definitely helped me stay on track.  You enter the foods...it's not a plan.  In the meantime have a glass of shiraz for me and perhaps some sushi.  I test Monday, am 11 days post transfer today. Many blessings....
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178239 tn?1277405491
I am so sorry Amy :(  I was really hoping this was the answer to all of this endless ttc and meds.

You know though, when I gave up and just concentrated on me and losing weight(I lost 30lbs) I got pg for the 1st time in my life on the 1st try at 40!!! I really think it had something to with the weight loss. I don't have PCOS, nor anything medical they have ever found wrong. It still doesn't explain why I didn't conceive in my 20's or 30's before I gained weight, either. But, there's no harm in it, only good. I am praying for you!
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405370 tn?1332206110
Oh no! I'm more than sorry to hear of this.  I know what its like after IVF, you know, thinking this is it, it has to be! I mean, how much closer can you get than IVF?   Well, I'm glad you have a new focus-weight loss-get your mind off of ttc and attack with a vengance!   I'm sure the weight loss will help!
By the way, that blue dress you're wearing to the event is super cute! =)
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355473 tn?1213929700
Your already starting off with a healthy attitude and I'm deeply sorry for your disappointment. To take my mind of the m/c I had I would hit the gym more regular.  I started to keep a track of my calorie intake and drank lots of water.  It took the edge off of worrying about getting pregnant (just a little) and it helped me to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  One thing I didn't want to do is cause medical/health issues because of excessive weight gain with these hormones on top of pregnancy.  I learned from being pregnant with my son I was gestational which is borderline diabetes due to the rapid weight gain!...needless to say it wasnt fun!...Don't worry though your on the right track!
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374593 tn?1257879950
i'm so sorry to hear this!  I am praying that you'll get a suprise natural BFP!!!! Your in my prayers! : )
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443102 tn?1222125946
I am so sorry honey.  It sounds like you have already pulled your sweet self out of this hole we all crawl in after a negative beta.  Keep your chin up.  We are all here for you during your successful weight loss!!

HUGS....

Hetaher
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487597 tn?1217684988
I'm sorry for you.  Please don't lose heart though.  There's still hope in the future.  Good luck with the weight loss.  

Also, I posted in your previous thread to see if you had any news.  Sorry, just ignore it.
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Avatar universal
You have such a good outlook.  Since you mentioned getting healthier...this is just a suggestion and ignore it if you this does not interest you, but there is a new book out by Dr. Robert Greene called Perfect Hormone Balance for Fertility (link on Amazon is below).  He is one of the Drs at the SIRM clinic and his focus is diet, excercise, vitamins, etc. He and his wife went through failed fertility procedures so he understands.  I was already a total health nut but after our last failure and a year of treatments I had felt I needed to get my body back to a healthier state and liked his approach.  Even though DH and I can't get pregnant naturally my body feels better making some of the modifications Dr. G suggested to my diet.  
Definitely indulge in that goat cheese and wine and maybe top it off with a little chocolate. :)  

http://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Hormone-Balance-Fertility-Ultimate/dp/0307337405/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213912178&sr=8-1
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