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664732 tn?1296823050

the "I am annoyed by this" thread

I know this doesn't really belong in here, but I feel like I have to get this off my chest.

I'm a bit annoyed by TTC, why you ask? Well, there is 1st the fact that MEN can produce a child at any time, any day, but we WOMEN can only conceive 2 days a month, 2 DAYS, that are 28 days in a year, the rest of the time is bleeding, hoping, crossing fingers and the worst thing EVER, waiting.

Something else that annoys me a bit are my friends or the people closest around me who conceive, and conceive, and conceive, and GET WHAT THEY WANT, while everyone else is trying, trying and losing their hope.

And PLEASE, what is with all the charting? BBT, TTC, CM, HPT, OPK - people, this is TOO MUCH, when did conceive a miracle of life become work? Oh, not to forget the DH, BF, Baby Daddy - or whatever you wanna call him, it's like they don't seem to understand sometimes how important it is to some, or ALL of us to receive such a gift.

One more - for those of you out there who have DH, BF and whoever, with already at least one other face to see themselves in, it's like my BF doesn't understand with his two sons that I kinda sometimes feel left out.

It's really good to get it out, anyone feels the same? I mean come on, let it out, grab a tissue. :)
61 Responses
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865566 tn?1356700362
I feel your pain, hon.  

There are a zillion things that I could add to your "I am annoyed by this" thread.  I think I will have to leave my big long response till later.  I'm at work right now and afraid to let loose!  

One thing I will add right now though is that I am annoyed that I get to be poked, prodded, blood drawn, BBT, OPK, HPT, HSG and my DH cant even get it together to go for his semen analysis.  Like come on... how difficult could it be to put a deposit in a cup!  

Ok - thats my beef for right now.... but more will be coming... believe me!

Gigi
Helpful - 0
865441 tn?1241092280
I'm with you. I just read that Heidi Klum is pregnant again. I really wish no ill will on anyone, but after a certain point it is like all this TTC invades your heart and starts to chip away at the good. Every single one of of our friends is either pregnant, on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th. Whatever. My husband is amazing but he can't get it. He can't understand that after a miscarriage that every time you pee it is like a ride in the danger zone. I go for my beta tomorrow, thus far all my HPT have been positive, I've had a bit of spotting - I am petrified. So if I get a BFP that means I live on pins and needles until when? No one gets it outside of those of us who are going through it. It blows. I know good things can happen and we have to stay positive and being jealous just makes it hurt more but it is hard to control your feelings when you feel defective and everyone else gets what you want without even trying that hard.

Marne
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664732 tn?1296823050
YES! I agree, I feel "broken", "defect", it's weird, 1 of my friends called me one day, im pregnant (we had a whole argument about it and didnt spoke for nearly 2 years), after we started speaking again i asked her, how did this all happen? and she said to me: "we know we wanted to have children 1 day, so we just left out the condom and whatever happened happened" AND IT HAPPENED ON THE 1ST TRY.... that actually made me VERY angry...

I feel SO useless and left out
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865441 tn?1241092280
You are not alone. I feel the same way. I am the freak in our group. After I m/c'd in 2006 and had a bit of a freak out people stopped being able to deal with me - they did not know what to do. Every time someone in our group got pg they called me husband so he could tell me like I am some sort of elephant man. Now I feel like no matter what happens I will never feel the same about anyone in our social group - most of whom are friends only via my husband so that makes it even harder. It all *****.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I hear ya sister! I've been thinking it this the last time we stopped trying and now here we are again. Ready to try! Sometimes the DH/BF/Baby's Dad or whomever it is just doesn't get it and you're right, I have family members that just have babies all willie nillie and I'm like DANG just give me 1 more that's it 1 that's all Im asking, Like they have 3- 7 kids I do have 1 daughter that i am blessed with, but what's so wrong with wanting 1 more, and why in the world is it so hard. I have friends that all they have to do is look at HPT commercial and then the next day, GIRLIE I'm pregnant. Honestly it's getting dang hard for me to grin and bare, but I do know I'm not alone, all of us here are having the same issue and I'm praying that our time will come! Baby Dust and Good Luck!
Helpful - 0
494640 tn?1262737989
how bad is it my 42 year ol dad has just had another child my bf brother had just had another child and its just so hard
im bridesmaid for my aunti in september she said she dsent want a pregnant bridmaid like im gonna stop trying for  5  months when i have been tryong over a year for  one day of her life miss a chance of something i dont think so ONLY to find out she wants to start trying herself!!!!!!
WTF

arrrghhhh im 22 in 3 weeks i should not be worrying about trying to concieve every one slse decides when why carnt we life is ******** i hate the upset and these little 17 yr old girls who dont even want a child

and a beautiful bf who i love dear and i no it hurts him but he is more worried about when our moneys coming in so he can but some new boxing gloves i dont no !!
arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!


god i feel a lil bit better but im sure ill be back good luck and lots of baby dust


n thing i will say when we get it we will be damn more greatful!!!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
724730 tn?1280164904
It is nice to be honest with women who understand what I am going through. Everyone has a piece of advice for me. My pharmacist was giving my my Clomid perscription the other day and she said. "Sometimes, when you relax, it helps" OMG!!!! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!. I am guessing you have 3-4 beautiful children at home!

My worst secret is that sometimes I am so resentful of my unborn child. We have been ttc for 4 years and I am soooo sick of feeling guilty for having a beer in the last two weeks of cycle and I don't dring coffee and I have sex on my back with my legs up in the air.
Please give me my life back. I just want to be IFV with twins and never try again and start living again.
Whew, sorry, that was a bit harsh, but I feel better for getting that off my chest!
Helpful - 0
777396 tn?1329787551
I am so glad you posted this. I too am sick of all the charting and poking and getting my hopes up every month. Why is it so easy for some and for us we have to go through all this heartache. And my DH, I love him, but I don't think he gets it and what this has done to me. I used to be a pleasant person and easy going and now I am up-tight and getting frustrated easily. I can't stand all the shows out there with people having 8+ kids and I can't even have 1. I am scare of the financial costs that this will bear on us as we prepare for going to a specialist. I feel that this is my burden and that I am the one that has to take control. I feel like less of a woman, becuase I can't have a child.

Helpful - 0
865566 tn?1356700362
Wow - my list of things that I am annoyed with is rapidly growing!

I am getting really tired of being the only childless person in my group of friends.  What is worse is that DH is 4 years  younger than me.  When we first got together it was great because there was no pressure to reproduce... well guess what... over the past year all of his close buddies have gotten their wives pregnant,  There are 4 babies on the way in our group.  We have been trying longer than any of them - in fact some of the girls (who are considerably younger than me) even came to be asking for advice on TTC!!!! And then they get pregnant and I dont!  NICE.  here I am  the oldest woman in the group - and now the LAST  to have a baby.  Feels  horrible.  DH wants to go on vacation with his friend and his pregnant wife, and i nixxed that idea.  I AM NOT GOING ON VACATION WITH A GIRL WHO GOT PREGNANT AFTER FOLLOWING MY ADVICE WHILE I CANNOT CONCEIVE (WITH OR WITHOUT MY ADVICE)!!!

I am also VERY ANNOYED with people who ask us when we are going to have a baby (just been married since June/08).  Instead of pasting that fake smile on my face, i feel like yelling WE HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 2 YEARS AND ARE APPARENTLY INFERTILE!!!!! That would probably shut them up.  But I am too embarassed to admit to anyone that we cant make babies.  That annoys me too.  i am starting to feel inferior to others.

Another thing that really bugs me is that as a defense mechanisim i tell everyone that we dont like kids and dont want kids.  That makes me feel bad, but not as bad as telling them that there is something wrong with us.

Ok here is something else that annoys me - please do not take offense anyone - keep in mind that this is coming from a 36 year old woman who feels that her time to have babies is running out.  I belong to another message board  that shows exaclty how long I have been a member.  What annoys the **** out of me is that no one in the TTC message board has been there as long as I have.  I keep seeing postings of BFP from people who have only belonged for a month or two and have not been trying for long at all.  Where is the justice?

Another thing that annoys me is that my husband is now afraid to tell me that any of his friends wived are pregnant. (Of course now they all are, but i'm sure more will come out of the woodwork)  I always break down and have a hissy fit.  I sometimes feel that I am going wacko. (after reading this I can see that I may be putting a lot of pressure on DH - no wonder he doesnt want to go for his semen analysis.  he is probably scared of what my reaction will be if there is something wrong with him)

I have now developed a fear that friends or family members who I did not know were TTC are going to announce pregnancies at get togethers or parties. I will be sooo upset if my Brother and his g/f get pregant before we do. Not good at handling that news at all.  

OK - so that is  my rant for right now.  I'm guessing there will be more to follow.

Gigi
Helpful - 0
865566 tn?1356700362
Another thing that annoys me is  that you cannot edit a posting on this msg board once it is made.  Sorry for the typos in my last post!
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514585 tn?1328740013
i probably shouldnt comment on this thread as i dont know what you ladies are truly going through... but i would like to offer my support and to tell you how sorry i am that you are all going through this... NOBODY deserves to go through this difficulty in thier lives... to want something sooo badly and nobody understands is horrible. i wish there were more support groups for this topic in the real world instead of just online.

good luck to everyone and i send out TONS of SUPER DUPER STICKY BABYDUST to you all

*************************************POOF-SSBD***************************************
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676775 tn?1276810560
Annoyed?! Annoyed?!!! I am annoyed!! I am depressed! I am sad!!! I am frustrated!! I feel sorry for myself and I feel defeated!!!
I had a friend who had also been ttc for 3 years and it felt good having someone I could hang out with and sometimes talk about ttc but what happens? She's pregnant now. Ofcourse I'm happy for her but I have been ttc for longer and here I am, still trying!!! I feel so left out and sorry for myself!!
Then one of my colleagues is pregnant with her 4th child and her 3rd child is not one yet!! She says her husband has always wanted 4 children and she figures since she's 35 she had better just have the 4th now? Good thinking but I couldnt help but wonder where is my first child? She didnt even try but here I am trying for so long and NOTHING!!! I am annoyed.
Then there's the constant BD on specific CD, lying on ur back for awhile after BDing, analyzing every cramp, bb soreness, sleepless night, watching what u eat and frequent visits to the doctor, a stranger seeing all ur privates and at the end of it all......BFN. I am defeated!
I could go on and on and on........ constant research online, if IUI dont work, you research IVF, you research about laproscopy, HSG, hysteroscopy, research the drugs, clomid, cyclogest, estradiol, metformin and to crown it all, despite AF coming every month, I start all over again the next cycle. PATHETIC!!!
We all keep trying to conceive despite it all. Ironic. :), :((
Joyce: Thanks for your encouragement.
Baby Dust to all!!!!
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847328 tn?1289783114
oH!!!!   This is such a great thread!!  I just keep reading and saying, "yes.. yes... YES!!!"  Ladies, can I tell you what a great place the internet is when your own family and DH is tiptoeing around on pins and needles because, to tell you the truth, I think I really am losing it sometime.  At least I can let lose here.  My DH told me he doesn't want me to keep logging on here everyday.  He said it's not good for me........   (steam coming out my ears)

I will confess, I have WISHED for some of the more religious gals in my office to just bring it up one more time and I will absolutely EXPLODE with examples of how good life is when people like Caysee Anthony get a beautiful child.  People, I live in Florida and I see this sh*t everyday.  

Gigigi- I totally get the friend thing.  I also get the coworker thing.  Everyone announces their pregnancy at our office morning meetings.  It got so bad, it seemed as if everyone had an announcement that I just started not showing up to those meetings.  My sup was getting kind of suspicious, but I just said I was busy.  PATHETIC!!

I also have found that if you try to hide your pregnancy from me or if you are afraid of telling me, that really *****S ME OFF!  I am so much happier for the gal that is just honest.  I have a co-worker who cornered me to ask me "now that we are alone" how things were going.  I was in an unusually sharing mood that day so I totally spilled my guts.  I'm talking all 2 miles of guts and everything out on the floor and in the open.  Well guess what?  After she shed one single tear and gave me a hug, I found out one week later that she was 3 months preg!!!!!!!!!    

God, instead of giving me strength, give me skin so thick that **** like this doesn't rip my heart out and squish it on the floor with pointy Jimmy Choo's!!!

Glass of wine, anyone?
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865566 tn?1356700362
Come on over, girlfriend!  Shall it be white or red?

GiGi

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676775 tn?1276810560
Let's live dangerously and make it white. Red has too many health benefits and for once, we should stop following the rule of 'it's good for your health considering ttc and all that....'

What do you think gals? ;))
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777396 tn?1329787551
Sounds great. Pour me a full glass.
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847328 tn?1289783114
Yes 4ever, lets live dangerously!  Because living this good has not been fruitful so far..... Let's just skip the wine and go straight for the cosmos!!!    OMG, Now that I think about it, I have not had one of those for over a year......(gasp)!

Martinis for everyone!  my tab!
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Avatar universal
wow it's so comforting to know ur not alone.. i feel soo alone, ashamed, like a failure.. people have said to me well it's not meant to be, it's not gods will, if it's meant to be then it will happen, i hear it soo much that sometimes i cry and say what have i done soo wrong as to not deserve to have a child.. i know deep down it's like any other medical problem for example if ur pancrease doesnt secret insulin u just take some if ur ovaries dont make eggs take clomid etc..  i try to put up a front so my husband doesnt see how hurt i am when my period comes. i have becme obscessed a bit always researching something don't exercise from the day of ovulation to day of af because i'm afraid i will affect implantation or make the egg fall out or something....everything about this is sooo stressfull and unfair
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724730 tn?1280164904
I see sooo many people (I am a dental hygienist) who smoke a pack a day. Eat like ***** and drink like a fish and they forgot the condom one night while they were smashed and guess what! here comes a ******* that is almost breaking up their relationship, because nobody wants him/her.
I told my husband the other day, we should go on a strict McDonalds diet, lay on the couch all, drink coffee and beer all day. I bet you we'll be pregnant in a month!
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664732 tn?1296823050
YOU, i know exactly how YOU feel... i mean, im myself turning 23 in may, AND IT SHOULDNT BE THAT HARD at this age, its ridiculous..... like everyone of my friends are getting pg, like we all r supposed to at this age, it shouldnt be all about fertility at this age it should be hey, look, its positive :D

and my bf, thank you for saying that your kinda just thinks about himself, THANK YOU, like its SO important to have this game, or that game, what about me? guys are selfish...
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664732 tn?1296823050
i know what you mean, i myself would love to have twin girls, dress them all alike and just wrap all the pink is this world around their little bodies, and than start living again, like it is SO hard to give me what i want, and its funny, i have twins all around me, my sisters are twins, my dad has twins in their family, my sister babysat twins i babyset 2 different couple of twins, its ridiculous, i only want what everyone else has!!!
Helpful - 0
664732 tn?1296823050
so this one i have to comment o as well, since some or most of you have them. are they just annoying? are those the worst? of course we feel happy for them, but do they have to shuff their happiness into our faces? AND then the most worst thing ever, the first friend who got pg, didnt try, its the friend mentiouned above... however, as we were younger we were talking about babys and names, and i had my baby names all already put together, then here she comes, "im pg, but nobody can know" and she didnt even go to see a doc till she was like wast 6 month, i hated her for that, then there she was, telling everyone shes having a GIRL, and naming her emma MARIE, she SO stole my middle name, and then now, my other friend, she got pg and shes like, "im having a GIRL, her name will be KIRA" that one SO stole my first name, it kills me, and i kinda, in secret, hate tham all... but of course im also happy for them... as long as they dont come around with their babies to make me see em.

on top, im a nanny, and i HATE being around kids that arent mine, i now try to change my major from early childhood to surg tech, just so i can get away from the cuties that arent mine...
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676775 tn?1276810560
I totally get u on being around cuties that aren't mine. I work in a school and if I dont see a baby on a particular day, I'll definately see a pregnant woman. It's so frustrating.

And you know what else? Those with babies expect u to always oooh and aaah over their babies and even to carry them. Well, guess what! I'm not always in the mood to do that!!!  
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766872 tn?1240341112
You know I'am so sick of this Bull**** !!!!!! When AM I GOING TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE CHILD!!!!!!!!! My God this is insane!!!!!!!!!! I know I will be so great as a mom only if I could get the chance to show everyone that I could do it. That ******* the DEVIL is working on me in  every which way that he can!!!!! My Grandmother was taken from me on the 2nd of april and plus I need to go and see my RE but I cant do that until the 11th of MAY!!!! If that woman takes one more vacation I know something!!!!! She just got back from vacation and she's going on another one and thats why I have to wait for so long. This is just not the mth for me; I just want to move on to my next process and get things going the way I need them to. Nobody understands my pain and why I'am always so GROUCHY and COMPLAINING and YELLING and BITCHY and............WHEW I need a breather............Its just so overwhelming you guys and you are the only ones who understands my pain : ) My GOD THIS IS KILLING ME. I have a younger cousin who is 20 yrs old and she has 4 kids and we think that she's pregnant again and its like, WHAT THE F***!! I'm not downing her or anything but its like since I have PCOS can I have an OVARIAN TRANSPLANT with her OVARIES  since she seems to OVULATE all the damn time!!!!!! Every time you look around she's PREGNANT and FERTILE as HELL and here I'am looking DUMB as HELL when people ask ( WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A BABY) You know what? The next time someone ask me that I'am going to say; When your Kid stop getting pregnant and give me a chance to shine I will!!!! I know its mean but who gives a sh**! They obviously dont care about my feelings or they would stop asking me knowing that my DH and I have been together for 8yrs something should click in there egg heads that ther is problem with one of us or both, But do ya think that they give a rats a** HELL NO!!!!!!!!! And my AUNT HAD THE NERVE TO SAY TO ME THAT I WAS DRIED UP! Can you believe the nerve of that B****!! She's the type of person that say's whatever and whenever and doesnt care who gets hurt, And there was eight people around us at the time of that incident. I just wanted to slap her face clean off her shoulders I tell ya. Man that felt so good to get off of my chest! It would have felt even better if I could have said it out loud though instead of typing!!!! Well.... Have a good night all : )
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
Helpful - 0
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