Go to a mattress store. Dress in comfy clothes. Try out memory foam. Try the softer feeling ones. Take your time. A good mattress sales person will not rush you. If they rush you, walk out. I was a to salesperson in the mattress industry.
I have 3 homes, and in all I have Kingsdown pilloried PLUS a memory foam, AND a down mattress topper. I used to use ' The Princess And The Pea analogy, too, and in doing research found its often referred to that way. It was known of as early as the 1800's, but called The Tender Woman Condition.
it is so painful, I know - but the best cure I have found is in getting laser therapy as nothing would stop the pain.
it is kind of like acupuncture with no needles - need to sit out at least 6 sessions to feel the effects and can be covered on Medicare (Aust). it is so worth sitting it out!! :)
hope the pain eases for you both!
This is a good question. I feel like the girl from The Princess and the Pea.
Right now I've got a memory foam topper on a regular matress, it's not the best.