not really a question

[zoe00]

This isn't really a question... i'm just so tired and i really wish my family could understand...my mom came over to help me yesterday bc i had been up most of the night hurting.... so she helped with my son and i fell asleep 4 a bout a hour.....then i got up and took a hot shower to help... i come out of the shower she says well whats wrong?  i said i just hurt... i don't feel good and i'm tired...she said well you slept! i said it doesn't matter how much i sleep i am still tired....anyway when she was leaving she said well you must have had a pretty good day!!!!????  i couldn't believe she said that bc she has actually read up on fms.... so i thought maybe she would understand a little bit but evidently she doesn't... just need to vent i guess.. it makes me sad

[mommyandwife]

I hate when people say there are other people worse off then me.  Yes, I realize that.  But while gloating to my counselor about being able to clean up the house before I went to work she said, "Well it could be worse.  You could live in Haiti, or Africa..."  Yeah, that really didn't make me feel any better.  People don't always understand and it's hard to focus on other people's problems when you are in constant pain!

[justmejen]

I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately many of us deal with the same problem. I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. My 1st husband caused my fm & my current husband can't handle it, doesn't believe that I am in as much pain as I am becuz "I can type on the computer". He is angry with me all the time becuz I can't do what he expects of me.

I own a construction business however I haven't been able to work in over a year so he blames me for everything that is wrong on our lives. I have told him that he causes me more pain when he starts arguments over nothing & screams & yells at me for days on end.

I finally told him that I want a divorce & he says that I only want a divorce becuz of the meds that I take. He says that I can't think straight & if I wasn't taking any meds, I wouldn't want a divorce! Funny thing is, he's right in a way becuz if I didn't have the meds , I COULDN'T divorce him becuz I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. Sigh.... so now, I am waiting for my disability application to be accepted. Hopefully this time it will.

I feel for you. I have just accepted the fact that nobody can or will understand how I feel unless they have fm. I gave up on my family years ago. I get no support there & never did except for my mom b4 she passed last sept. She always understood me & she always knew when I was in more pain than usual. Hopefully some day your mom will realize it. I will pray for you. Hang in there hun.

gentle ((((((hugz))))))

Jen

[zoe00]

thank you for writing... i am sorry for your pain... i also i am frustrated of being tired and hurting and depressed.... its as if everyone just expects me to be the same.... don't they realize that is what i want to??? i took my son out yesterday to play bc it was such a beautiful day after about 45 mins i had to bring him in bc i was exhausted and hurting by evening i hurt so bad i didn't know what to do with myself... this is more than i can deal with.... i have to be able to take my son out and play, i have to give him a bath, i have to do dinner... my hubby helps... but i just really don't think he realizes how really sick i am.... and i can't get him to read anything about it... u know its not like any of us want simpathy i just want understanding and a lil bit of help even tho i don't like to ask for it.....may today be better than yesterday and tomorrow even better for u :O)

[grandmama16]

It could've been me writing your post. I know that being older, almost 66, I'm not expected to do all the things younger ones with this mystery illness called FM but it IS so frustrating to be so tired, depressed and hurting. Some of my drugs help. The dr. added Wellbutrin to my low dose Cymbalta and it only made my heart pound more. I am new here and haven't even registered but I thought I'd let you know that I realize it doesn't help to know others are "worse off". I know of many. I'm just tired of not feeling normal....or was I ever normal. I've had depression since childhood. I won't go on and on but I will say that I have a wonderful husband who helps but also it seems like I"m being treated as a child at times. He's good and kind but sort of hoovering. Anyway...I need somewhere to talk. I've been on other sites like Revolution Health but I can't seem to get back on to it. Keep on keepin on.....M.A.

[zoe00]

thank you for the understanding.... that is all i really want i don't want simpathy i am just trying to get by.... my hubby really doesn't get it... he doesn't help he won't even read about fms... he says he already knows about it and treats me just the same... but i'm not the same i wish i was but i get so tired and weak... sometimes i can't even open a friggn bottle.... he thinks i should be able to do the laundry and do the dishes and take care of my 2 yr old no problem... but i can't... i wish i could but i'm sick.. i'm depressed.... and getting these crazy attacks where i feel like i can't breathe, but i KNOW i can and i just keep telling myself you can breathe, you can breathe... i try to be strong.... but without understanding i feel really alone and lost... i really appreciate you taking the time to reply.... i am sorry about that lady at the concert.... you are right even if there are ppl out there worse off is that supposed to make you feel better??? seriously some ppl have no clue...whatsoever... and i would never wish this upon them i just want them to feel for 1 day or 1 hour how we really truly feel bc then they wouldn't judge or say the horrible, horrible things they say... bc i look ok, everyone just seems to believe i am ok i think bc they don't want me to be sick.... well i don't want me to be sick either... who does, ya know... its just a sad part of life..... what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? god bless you and i hope you have a better day today than yesterday and a even better day after tomorrow :O)

[acker]

bugger - your mom came over to help, and then said stuff void of understanding... sigh. yes mate it's YET ANOTHER shi++y part of 'living with (insert chronic mystery illness)' that challenges us daily. SORRY for your frustration. i know it. it happened again to me on the weekend. chatting with woman at concert - she says 'where do you ride your scooter?' (skate scooter); i said 'it helps keep me steady, i have difficulty walking'. she goes...: "oh well there's always someone worse off than you", and "don't focus inwards, just help other people"...!!! she mustve missed the part where i have difficulty walking!! (and if there are people worse off than me, is that supposed to make me feel better??!)
it's still annoying but not as much as it was 2 years ago (i learn slowly). i figured out that some have NO CLUE about what's involved - just STAY AWAY from these people. then there's your mom [like my dad] who helps a bit, but still doesn't quite get the whole picture. then there's folk with a fair bit of understanding mostly cause they're in it or have been in it. i find the forum helpful cause people mostly say the right things, and i'm 'allowed' to be myself  - sick - without the judgement questions stupid comments and ignorant suggestions.
vent away. sorry that you had a disappointing day!