Dreaming he didn't die

[puddin50]

My husband was killed in a car wreck 30 years ago.I came upon the wreck,,i was sitting there with him,he was already gone.I remember telling  him to look at me.We were just married two years we had a baby that died from sids when she was 2 months old. She died 3 months before he was killed.Anyway after all these years i still have the same dream.I find out he isn't dead,,but he doesn't come to me .He goes and lives with his parents,,and he just dosen't want me to know he's  come to the phone alive.Two nights ago had the same dream,,his brother knew Gary was alive and  i was asking him where is he and why hasn't he came to me.His bother just says he told me not to tell you,,im getting mad and Gary gets on the phone but now im mad and wont speak to him. Always he gets on the phone but i wont afraid i'll hear his voice.Or im just hurt and can't speak to him.I heard myself hollowing out in my sleep;STOP.AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? W had a good marriage short one,,i just don't understand why i keep having this dream.I also was pregnant and didn't know it when he  died founf out a week later.Maybe someone can tell me what they think.Never really asked anyone about this before.

[puddin50]

My daughter works with a lady that is a thyapist.She  told her about what i was dreaming.She offered a few reason why i was having this type of dream,The one that i had a yes,,thats it,  was  i was mad at him because he died.Mad for leaving me,,leaving me alone to raise a [ baby  i didn't know i was having at that moment,],mad because i was still grieving from the loss of our baby girl,Mad because he left me a widow at 21.I do believe thats it! She told me to write Gary a letter and tell him how i felt,,and take it to his grave and read it to him,  tear it up and tell him i forgive him and ask God to take this  pain from me.Sounds little crazy bu ti may do it!

[puddin50]

Maybe thats my problem also. The day he died my mother and i went to Nashville to see my dad.The whole time i was visiting with him i felt a nagging feeling. I needed to  get back home. I  kept saying well, we need to go.It was strange. Sorry for your loss.My mother died 8 years ago.She was everything to me.Eight years ,,,seems like yesterday,,i really miss her!!Sounds like you were very close to your mom!! I'm glad you realized there was nothing you could do to  prevent her death.!I have always though i needed to talk to someone.Maybe i will one day.Thanks for your support. Means alot to me God bless you and take care!

[specialmom]

Hi there puddin.  I lost my mom in a tragic and shocking way myself.  At the time, I was unmarried, with no children, etc. and she felt like my only family.  I was lost.  Her death forever changed me.  

For years----  YEARS---  I've had reoccurring dreams about her that are very upsetting. She's also not dead in my dreams but is dying all over.  I am with her in my dreams and have the mixture of intense relief that she is there, but then anger that she was always there and didn't tell me and then the horrific fear that she is dying all over again.  It's really the worst nightmare for me and Ive had it so many times that it has to be something going on.  

I agree with myyoungatheart.  My subconscious has been trying to work things out all these years.  For me, it was about some kind of irrational thoughts that I could have changed something in her death.  If I had only . . .   It's been almost 20 years and I have these dreams in frequently in the past year.  Before that, it was a normal occurrence.  I think I finally realize that I could not change anything.  And if I DID have any opportunity at all to change things but due to not knowing any better, didn't . . .  that my dear mama would NEVER hold that against me.  I felt a wave of forgiveness for an offense I hadn't really done but suffered for any way.  Just the craziness of losing someone in a tragic way.  

I saw a grief counselor which was very helpful.  This was through a Christian counseling center.  I only went a few times but it was very powerful.  If you can do that, it would be wonderful.  A therapist would really cheer you on and help you over come any thoughts, regrets, etc. that you might have regarding the death.  

I so wish you peace dear.  It's hard.  hugs

[puddin50]

I have never had therapy.I  really did need to i was so young at that time 21 married buried a baby and a husband and gave birth to a baby all within a year.I still can recall everthing like it was yesterday,But i was lucky  i remarried 9 years later and had another baby girl.Daughters are now 28 and 14.Thanks for your reply maybe one day i will think about talking to someone!!

[TheLightSeeker]

I meant exploration NOT exporation, lol!

This is something I sent to a very special medhelp friend recently:

"Death is no more than a passing from one room to another.
But there's a difference for me, you know.
Because in that other room, I'll be able to see."
---Helen Keller

[TheLightSeeker]

Hi puddin50.

Sometimes dreams are the only way that a Spirit of a loved one can
communicate with us, specially when there are unresolved issues-very well
noted my M- like prolonged grief and sadness, not allowing any other possible way to communicate.

One concept that us humans have not quite mastered yet is death.
I'm sure you have some internal conflict with this, as part of you relying on
your intellect "believes" in death, yet another part of you relying mostly
on your intuition "believes" in passing on to another form of life.


Do you perhaps do any meditation? This could be of tremendous value,
as it helps establish communication with the Spirit world through your subconscious mind.

I come from a strong background in this area as a Hypnotherapist,
Spiritual Psychotherapist, and I also have personal experience with the "Other Side" with two Near Death Experiences.

Now you seem to be open and ready for this exporation.
It is a fascinating and blissful journey!

I will post again another time with more details. (I just got back from a conference).
Meanwhile you can post again, if you wish, with any comments or questions you may have.

Love & Light
Niko

[MYoungAtHeart]

It is said that our dreams are the results of unresolved conflicts that go on in our mind and subconscious.  In our dreams are hopes and wishes and in a simple way, the way our mind makes sense of our feelings that we are not even aware of ourselves feeling during the day.

I am wondering if you have ever had therapy or thought of therapy to help you come to grips with unresolved issues that have happened in your life.

Wishing you the very best

M