How can I learn to accept this loss???

[melinturkey]

I lost my mom on July 30th. I am living out of counrty and I flew back as fast as I could to be by her side while she was dying.  It was the most traumatic experience and I cant get the vision of her out of my head. One minute she was there and the next her body looked like a cold shell.  She was my best friend and my rock. ı called her all the time to see how she was feeling, get advice or just chat.  Now she is gone and ı cant do that anymore.  How can I survive this?  I feel so empty and I miss her so much.  I want to pick up the phone and hear her voice :'(

[mammo]

I am so sorry about your mother, this is a very difficult loss to endure.  I think in the back of our minds we think she will always be there, even when we know it's not true.  Try to concentrate on the wonderful life the two of you shared, all she taught you, the laughs, the sharing.  Most of all, know that your mother would want you to move on and be happy...... easier said than done, I know.  But this is what all mothers want, to know our children will be okay without us and live a happy life.  I lost a son and thought I couldn't go on, nor did I want to. That was 11 years ago, and I can say in some ways it gets easier, and some ways it doesn't.  Sometimes you will think of your mom and smile, others times you'll cry.  It gets easier, I don't know how, just that it does.  For me, journaling about my son helped, even writing letters, just hoping he heard what I was writing.  Putting our thoughts and feelings on paper is very therapeutic. Be grateful for the time you did have, and know that she knew she was loved by you, isn't that wonderful?  I know you miss her, and there are no words to console you with this.  This pain is so fresh, take time to mourn, cry, be angry, get all those emotions out.  I wish you all the best and take care.  Big hugs to you.

[LadyJoVic]

I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is always hard, especially a parent. Just know that she is in a better place now, and she isn't in anymore pain. She will always be watching over you and one day, you will meet her again. But stay strong, eventually you will recover and move on. It doesn't ever hurt to cry, but sometimes the loss of a loved one can throw you into a severe depression so be careful. And again, I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies. Heather <3

[Neta100]

I am sorry for your loss.  Nothing prepares oneself to deal with the loss of a loved one, especially a parent, even when you know he/she is sick, but take one day at a time.  Try to take her with you in your mind and in your heart, talk to her and she'll be listening and helping you out.  You may not see her, but she'll be there taking care of you from up there, and for sure one day you'll meet again and have a blast.  Also, if you wish to cry, do so and talk about her, and little by little things will get easier and you'll be able to go on.  Keep in mind that she's in a place full of peace and resting, and think of her like your guarding angel.  You'll be OK, just don't rush and never ever forget all the good and bad times you spent with her.  They are a your most beloved treasure.

Best wishes,

Neta

[Judy246]

My very deepest condolences on the passing of your mom. As yourself, I loss my mom on July 19, 2007 and not a day goes by that I don't grieve in my heart for my mom. Only time will heal your broken heart. It is a painful, raw, life changing experience and there is absolutely no way around this one, BUT there is hope and yes, there will be healing with time, but we will never truly get over our loss, we learn to accept what we can't change and I believe in God and know that my mom is not my past, but my future, because I will see her again in God's time. If you feel it will be necessary to seek a grief counselor, I recommend it, but it will be necessary to experience the stages of the grief process in order to begin to heal and with me it took 2 1/2 yrs. to began to feel human again. My mother died in my arms of congestive heart failure and I will never, ever, be the same again, but God will give you strengh. Talking about how you feel helps and you share a bond with your mother that is eternal. It is a bond that not even death can ever take away, so hold to strong faith and one day your mom is going to come running to you from the gates of heaven and be the guiding light to show you the way. Rest easy, you are going to be just fine, one day at a time. Hugs.

[Purple7374]

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say really other than I understand some of the feelings that you must be going through. Me too I've lost my mom in March this year and because I live abroad my mom and I used to spend so much time talking on the phone as you did with your mom. She was my rock especially the months before she died unexpectedly as I was already morning my baby boy whom I lost half way through pregnancy only weeks before. My mom died of a heart attack on her wedding anniversary at only 65. When the phone call with the devastating news reached me I collapsed. Luckily my husband and also my best friend were with me at the time. Needless to say that we flew back as quickly as we could to be with my dad and brother. Since all the sadness in my life happened I have learnt to take one day at a time. What helps me a lot is to know that I would not want to change a thing with my relationship with my mom. Even though I miss her every day I am grateful and also happy that we had such a strong and special relationship. Also knowing that she lived the life she wanted makes me very proud of her. Maybe these are also things that could help you when the time is right? I’ve been having counselling sessions which I have started because of the loss of my baby boy but now these sessions seem to help little by little with both my losses.
Take care and big hugs.