How to move on???

[kelkel2020]

it has been almost 5 years since i lost my mom and i cant deal with the pain. i was the closest person to her. she was my best friend. even though i was so close to her i was the last person to find out. and every night i dream the same dream and i always wake up crying and making myself sick because i cant stop crying. the dream i have is i relive the day she passed away over and over again. i still have not made it up to her grave i dont have the strength to go up there also i ran out of the funereal because i didnt want to believe it. i gave up my birthday because hers was 3 days after mine and we would celebrate our together. and i cant even move when it is the day she died i wont get out of bed i just want to lie there and die but i cant. i act like im ok but inside im screaming for help i just dont know what to do anymore. i cant even talk about her without crying and i think the worst of it all is i blame myself everyday because of i would have stayed with her that night i would have been there and since i would wake up early for school she would still be alive. but i wanted to go home. how could i have been so stupid. i just need to know how do i move on and get back to the way everything was and be happy again????

[daneko]

excellent Jen great words really on how to fill the void spiritually and psychologically and yet letting go of a few things

[jen35835]

  Hi! sweetie,  I'm so sorry for your loss and I do understand all to well the pain you are in.My Mom passed away almost 3 years ago.You shouldn't be so sad,your Mom is happy and has no worries for she is with God now in heaven.Try journaling,even writing letters to your Mom about how you feel without her may help.Find a new purpose.Something you enjoy.Do animals make you happy?The way to move on is to make new memories,have new goals.It isn't your time and your not meant to feel this way.I know it is so hard when you were so close to someone and you can't see them.Feel your Mom's spiritual presence.She isn't always in heaven,many times her spirit is with you,never forget that.Support from others is so important.Pray,ask God for what you want,for comfort,for strength.Remember were never given more then we can handle.I know you can't see it now,but there is a reason for this.Perhaps,you need to be more independent and think of your own needs and make choices that are souly right for you.I have a feeling that your not used to doing that without thinking of your Mom's feelings to.Your Mom gave you the greatest gift,life.Live your with laughter,guilt-free,and take joy in the little things.Everday go outside and look around,the world is beautiful.You can be happy again.As your moving on and doing things that make you happy, before you know it,you'll wake up and realize, you are yourself again and you actually are happy not just trying to be.Let her go!! its what your Mom wants.She wants you to move on.She will always be your Mom,she will always be with you,the difference is she's an angel now.And you can't see her,close your eyes and I bet you can still feel her..Love,light,& smiles to you..God bless you,Jen

[lisaob1]

hi,im so sorry for your loss,iv learnt that people only deal with a loss of a loved one in ther life when they are ready to,you will find your way and learn to cope with losing your mum,in your own time and your own way,remember the good times and push forward to turn the negatives into positives,its a hard process but im sure its what she would want you to do.i wish you love luck and happiness x

[kelkel2020]

if he god need her a little more than why has he put me through so much pain my whole life i cant even remember one good time i had they all seem to be ok and then they go from ok to horrible and if god was real he would want good in life and the memories i feel are fading and soon i wint even remember her the only way will be by looking at pictures.and i cant help but blame myself because i wanted to go to my boyfriends house and spend time with him and she wanted me to stay with her but i didnt. i left. i know i look a lot like her and my family will never let me live that down thats why i changed the way i look so many times that way when i do look in the mirror i see someone i dont know. but thank you it has helpped what you had said

[grannienannie]

oh my im so sorry to hear about your moms passing..I know how it feels to lose a mother at a young age..I lost my mom when I was 7 and it was hard for me to...I dont think no one get over the death of someone they love...I think about my mother every minute of the day and I'm 40 now...but for me to move on to be happy again..I said that God needed her just a little bit more...and I would have rather for her not to suffer through that pain she went through...This is why god gave us the gift of memories...so we can never forget the person we once loved so much when they was here..memories last a life time no one can take that away...you should never blame yourself..just get stronger...you will always see her in your dreams.. weather good or bad..You didnt take your mother..and she is never truely gone...she live on in you..in your heart, your blood and your mind...you are everything she wanted in life and although the time was short..you met her..you loved her...and now she is in a better place watching over you...every minute..live life and make her proud...After all your looking at her in the mirror everyday...take care..feel better..and I'm here.