My Baby Girl

[bellasmom2011]

I lost my little girl on Feb. 14,2011 she died shortly after birth and now i just found out i am almost 11 weeks pregnant with twins. I am really scared because i dont want to loose these babies too. I just am having a hard time dealing with the loss of my daughter and holding her lifeless little body was the hardest thing i ever had to do beside burying her and i still dont know if i done the right thing by holding her but now that i get to thinking about it i dont think i made the wrong decision by holding her. Anybody have any advice on how to deal easier with the loss and the so soon  pregnancy with twins? If so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Mommy and daddy miss you Isabella.

[mammo]

Then cry, you have every reason to cry.  You've been through so much and now this, I know you are terrified.  You need to let the tears flow for many reasons.  I'm always here if you want to talk or vent, and I do understand.  You lost so much with your baby girl and I'm sure you wonder how much more you can endure.  Don't pretend to be strong right now, let your feelings and emotions out.  I'll be praying for you and your babies, and my thoughts are with you.

[bellasmom2011]

It is so hard after loosing her and now I am at the hospital because i started hurting really bad and bleeding and i am scared to death i am going to loose the twins... And i just wish my husband was with me... I just want to cry

[mammo]

You definitely did the right thing in holding your precious baby girl, for both of you.  Losing a child is the hardest loss ever, and you never ever recover from it, you just live life the best you can.  Things happen to us that we don't understand and they can cause us to question a lot and fill us with hurt and anger. I know that often when a baby dies it's because something was wrong and maybe your baby was spared a lifetime of suffering. You are being doubly blessed now, but I certainly understand your worry.  If you know "why" your baby died, ask if it can happen again, chances are it can't.  Knowledge empowers us and can relieve a lot of our worry.  Journal your feelings about your baby girl and the twins, it's very therapeutic and putting all our emotions and feelings down on paper is a form of release for us.  I can tell you that it does get easier, I don't know how...just that it does. I had to watch my son endure horrendous suffering, maybe your baby girl and you were spared from this.  I too, believe therapy would help you to adjust to everything.  For me it was the writing, I wrote and wrote.  You've been thru so much, trust that there is a reason for everything, even we can't understand "why".  Big hugs to you, I know it's tough.

[Tinabudde]

Hi Bellasmom, I'm so sorry about your baby girl.  I replied on your other post too.  My brother's wife also lost her baby, she nearly died, she went into labor during sleep and lost so much blood, the baby was stillborn.  My brother and his wife both held the baby and took 1 picture of him.  It was the right thing to do for them.  It was the only time they could hold him.   I do think the counselor would be the best idea for you, they can help you deal with everything you have happening to you right now and in the past.

[bellasmom2011]

Yes the memories of our lil girl live on with us forever and she will never be forgoten. It has been so hard especially now that i am pregnant again because i am paranoid that something will happen to the twins.

[grannienannie]

hello I am sorry you and your husband loss your daughter isabella...and I dont think you can ever truely get over the loss of a child...I never have...but the memories of her face lives on for me...remember that a part of you and her father resides in heaven and in your hearts...an although you never go to hear a word she spoke she told you she loved you...feb 14...remember both that alawys.