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Avatar universal

loss of mother

I have a similiar situation as lizzie, but I just lost my mom on March 11,2007 and was buried on the 16th.  She was very ill for quite sometime with diabetes, congestive heart failure, kidney function the list goes one.  on march 8th she had surgery on her leg to help get better circulation to the foot that was infected.  The surgery was a success, but the rest of her could not handle the surgery. she had brain swelling and renal failure. my siblings and I had to remove the life support there was no other way she was going to come out of it.  since thursday the 22nd I've been un utter mess. crying, not wanting to do anything, it's just finally hit me.  I'm in my 40's and lost my dad 25 years ago and we were also very close. I know I'm going to go through this rough patch but it will get easier. It's just going to take time adjusting my life without her being physciall in it. Everyone's grieving process is different but if your grieving for more then a month it's going to start taking over your life which your father would not have wanted that to happen, I'm sure you know that. I think counseling would be good for you since it's been awhile since your father's passing.  It's not healthly for you or your family to be depressed for this long.  I'm already going for therapy for other things going on in my life and thank goodness I am so we can also combine my grieving process in my sessions. I know those pity partys your having pretty well, but a party is really no fun with only one person, trust me, I've been there.  
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Avatar universal
I lost not only my mother but my best friend.She passed away on Aug,14 of this year,due to ovarian cancer. I've been feeling like every emotional pain felt in my whole life has hit me all at once.She was living with me off and on for the last 5 years. She went through a horrible divorce was suffering from post traumatic stress lost her father and a month later was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. I took care of her through all this,went to LA with her during most of her chemo's stayed with her during surgery recovery prior to chemo. I had to leave my son at home, it was hard but, I was willing to do anything to see her recover, I failed the day she passed.I miss taking care of her. But keep trying to realize how much pain she was in and now she's at peace.  After 7 chemo treatments with Taxol and carboplatin the doctors seen no cancer remaining said see You in 3 months. About 6 weeks later,after she moved out,I noticed some weight loss called her doctor requested ca-125 test or ct scan they said no. By the time she went to the doctor as scheduled the cancer was in her liver and later 2 blockages were found in her intestines. She could not eat or go the bathroom for a month. It was diifficult to watch someone you love so much ,go through this. She had a stent in the right ureter in the kidney,it was no longer working. The doctors tried to change it out but were unable to due to the massive amounts of cancer in that area. When they attempted this the toxicity from her dying kidney went to her 1 functioning lung causing pneumonia and also went to her brain. Pneumonia was a blessing, the doctors said, otherwise she would have starved to death. For 22 hours prior to her passing her breathing was a horrible thing to hear. I kept my promise and kept her out of pain,I hope with the morphine.I miss her everyday and can just barely function.
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Lost my mother in a road accident on Aug 12th, where she died on the spot. She was there and gone in an instant. She was 56yrs old and the best mom a person could have. Inspite of the struggles she had in life, she always was smiling and kept a positive outlook. I and my family are successful because of my mom. Cant express how much I miss her. As I live in a different country, she used to call up every day to enquire about how we were doing, how things were going, to tell her every little thing which happened in our lives. A number of times, I have not spoken enough with her- and it hurts me so much that I will never be able to now speak or hear or hug her again. Just dont know why it had to happen this way - to the best person I know and a person who deserved to live..
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My mom passed away 2 weeks ago, and I'm having a terrible time with it, more and more each day. I can't breath, I feel physically sick, and I don't know what to do. She was 72, died unexpectedly, had journals documenting (just found) of chest pain and tiredness for the past two years. Never told us she loved us, but about 6 months ago started saying "love ya" at the end of conversations. Lack of never hearing it, it was unfamilar and not said back. I tell my kids every day that I lvoe them. but I am overwhelmed with grief.
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My mother passed away on July 14, 2008 the day after my daughters 13th birthday. She was only 64. She went into the hospital on June 23, my sons Birthday and sent home and put on hospice that Friday. I knew she had cancer but she would not tell me everything. Because of Chemo we could not see her much in the past 10 months. At the funeral my sister told me she was not expected to live past last xmas. This did come to somewhat of a supprise to me. We were told we could start to come back out to their house 2 weeks before she went into the hospital. I know they were trying to protect me and I know she fought until the last week but it somehow makes it a sudden death to me. I got to say good bye and I held her hand while she went to be with God.  I am lost.  I have tried to talk to my big sister but the loss has pushed us even farther apart. My husband is great but I need the family I grew up withs support. It is too soon for my Dad to help. My parents had a love that you do not see anymore and I am there for him, my brother and my family. When my mom died I lost a big part of me. She was a wonderful Mother. She has helped me through everything in my life and now I have no where to turn. I want to pick up the phone and call so I will feel better but she is not there. I am OK at work because she taught me to be a lady and how to only show emotion at home.  She was an Angel on Earth and I understand God needs her now but I am not sure I can cope with this. I feel so empty.  My mom and Dad were really worried about me more so than my sister and brother. I promised my mom I would keep this family together like she did but I just can't seem to do it with out my sister. She has always put herself and her friends first before us. She only calls when she needs something. But I need her now and I do not know how to cope on my own. I want to stop crying and I do not want to burden my friends, none have lost any loved ones and I feel I might talk to them too much about my mom and my grief. Help me I do not know how to handle this. I am empty and lost with out my Mother who had a heart of gold always helped anyone in need and never said a bad word about anyone. She was the best RN, Friend, and Mother ever. Thanks for letting me ramble. Thanks for listening.
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My beloved mother passed away of July 3rd.  I am completely torn apart.  I lived in the same house as my mother for the 44 years of my life.  She was my mother and my best friend.  I can barely stand the hours that go by and cannot believe that I will never see or hear her again.  I took care of her for almost 2 years before her death.  She was a very smart and funny woman, who suffered horrible in those 2 years.  Sometimes the pain is so bad that I feel like I could scream up to the heavens.  My mother had some form of lund disease, but despite taking her to different hospitals, they could not completely figure out what was wrong with her.  She just continued to go down hill.  I am agonizing all the time because of not having a specific diagnosis...I don't know why.  I was with her when she passed, and I can't get her beautiful face out of my mind.  I am worried that this pain will go on forever.  I loved her so dearly.  Just know I understand your pain.  I feel completely lost as well.  I lost my father a little over a year ago as well.  We were not as close, but I feel like an adult orphan.  I do have siblings, but my mother and I were so very close, and this house feels empty without her.  I worry too about life after death.  I want to believe she is in a better place, but I can only hope.  I am sorry for all of your losses.
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Avatar universal
I just lost my mother June 20, 2008.  Life has been chaos going through the planning of the funeral and then the novena (cultural and religious observance that lasts 9 days).  Yesterday was the first day with no functions planned.  I could not sleep.  I was up until 3:30 am, crying most of the time.  At least I know that at that hour of the morning Dad can't hear me crying.  I feel so alone.  I am an only child.  Mom was my best friend.  She and Dad were married for 51 years.  I planned their 50th anniversary party.  I worry about Dad.  I will be going back to work in a couple of days and he will be alone.  I worry for both of us.  There are times I am not sure how we are going to make it.  I am responsible for everything including the business side of her passing.  I am having to settle accounts and make changes.  I almost lost it at the Social Security office today.  
It was so unexpected.  I left for work as usual and at 10:15, I was told there was a problem at home.  My Dad found her unconscious in the patio (a moment that still haunts him).  She never regained consciousness.  We had to make all the decisions for life support.  Mom refused to do an advanced directive.  I just feel so lost and alone.  When will my heart stop hurting, even for a little while.
Thanks for letting me ramble on.
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