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Afraid of potential exposure after rough sex
Hi everyone, I would like to thank you all in advance for your help. 27 year old female after of potential exposure after things got a little too rough during sex with my boyfriend.
So my bf and I are in a monogamous relationship for AF a few months now. I'll admit we aren't always responsible and have a lot of sex, unprotected. A few nights ago we were having sex and (my apologies for the graphic visual) but he then started to finger me. He went a little too deep and rough and I noticed upon urinating after intercourse that I was bleeding a little. An hour or so later we had sex again and he fingered me once again. I used the restroom once more afterwards, only to find I bled a little more. I told him about it and he felt so bad. We both decided he was too rough and he shouldn't do it anymore. I was not due for the time of the month as I'd just ended a week ago.
The main issue with this is he's never been tested for HIV. While I was tested in 2018 and it came back negative, I'm still afraid since he's never been tested. Also, because prior to meeting him I had sex with someone in 2019 and... We weren't very responsible:( I'm not sure if that partners status either. He was the only person I had sex with before meeting my bf last year in 2019. To be clear I never have any symptoms of anything and I feel fine from a few nights ago with my bf. I'm just really scared and would love some feedback. Thank you all again ❤️
So my bf and I are in a monogamous relationship for AF a few months now. I'll admit we aren't always responsible and have a lot of sex, unprotected. A few nights ago we were having sex and (my apologies for the graphic visual) but he then started to finger me. He went a little too deep and rough and I noticed upon urinating after intercourse that I was bleeding a little. An hour or so later we had sex again and he fingered me once again. I used the restroom once more afterwards, only to find I bled a little more. I told him about it and he felt so bad. We both decided he was too rough and he shouldn't do it anymore. I was not due for the time of the month as I'd just ended a week ago.
The main issue with this is he's never been tested for HIV. While I was tested in 2018 and it came back negative, I'm still afraid since he's never been tested. Also, because prior to meeting him I had sex with someone in 2019 and... We weren't very responsible:( I'm not sure if that partners status either. He was the only person I had sex with before meeting my bf last year in 2019. To be clear I never have any symptoms of anything and I feel fine from a few nights ago with my bf. I'm just really scared and would love some feedback. Thank you all again ❤️
You definitely need to get tested with this partner you are having frequent unprotected sex with. Him fingering you and opening up sores to cause bleeding isn’t good. If he isn’t bisexual or using drugs with needles then your risk factor with him is probably low. Still you want to go and get tested and most doctors say you will need to test within 6 weeks to 3 months after unprotected sex and some suggest a follow up test in 6 months. He’s not your husband so you really don’t know if he’s monogamous so you might need to practice safe sex with condoms from now on.
1 Comments
The three and six month guidelines have been outdated since 2004. The current 4th and 5th generation tests are conclusive 4 weeks after exposure and all others are conclusive at 8 weeks post exposure.
For me, monogamous relationships shouldn't require always using protection once you've ruled out HIV. If you trust your partner. :)) Hopefully you do. The likelihood that either of you is HIV+ and don't know it is extremely low. Would you agree? And you can only get HIV from someone who is positive. Just the act of having sex without protection does not result in HIV, someone has to be positive.
I completely agree with Mike_no. Rather than worry, just go together and get tested. You can say you want to so that you can have unprotected sex without worry! And if you still feel like you don't trust him to be remaining faithful, you can say it will just ease your general worries and everyone should get tested. Don't make it a big deal and just do it. I'm close to 100 percent sure you will both be negative. you are not a high risk person leading a high risk life nor is he (unless you don't know him very well and he has a hidden life you aren't privy too). '
I am writing this to give you reassurance that it should be no big deal to get tested once and for all and move on from having to worry about this.
I completely agree with Mike_no. Rather than worry, just go together and get tested. You can say you want to so that you can have unprotected sex without worry! And if you still feel like you don't trust him to be remaining faithful, you can say it will just ease your general worries and everyone should get tested. Don't make it a big deal and just do it. I'm close to 100 percent sure you will both be negative. you are not a high risk person leading a high risk life nor is he (unless you don't know him very well and he has a hidden life you aren't privy too). '
I am writing this to give you reassurance that it should be no big deal to get tested once and for all and move on from having to worry about this.
2 Comments
And it's not the fingering that you are worried about, is it? That doesn't lead to HIV transmission.
Hi! No it wasn't the fingering I was afraid if it was the bleeding the occurred from my boyfriend being a little too rough. So I went there was likely broken skin which scares me because he hasn't been tested for HIV. I definitely want to get tested with him. I used the Oraquick kit when I got tested. So I'm thinking we both could take one together and see. Thank you so much your answer was so calming and valuable.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Since your partner has never tested, it won't be a bad idea to test at 28 days from the last time you both had an unprotected intercourse.
2 Comments
Hi, I agree thank you I will definitely get tested with him.
You can get a IV / V Generation of HIV test at that point for a reliable result.
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