HIV risk and symptoms

[WorriedandScared42]

Hello. I am a 42 year old straight male. I may have had an exposure to HIV 5 weeks ago. I have been in a committed relationship for the past 15 years. I made a terrible mistake by getting drunk and going to a strip club by myself. I got even more drunk while there. I dont remember having sex in the club but there was at least 1 girl there offering sexual services. I dont even remember how I got home other than taking an uber. So the possibility exists I may have had unprotected sex that night with a stripper/prostitute. I went to my doctor at day 21 after the possible exposure who gave me a full STD test by drawing blood. A few days later he let me know my results were all negative including HIV. Now I dont know what generation test was used. All i know is it was a blood test not oral. The doctor did not seem to be too concerned. I My anxiety has kicked into overdrive and I am constantly researching symptoms online. I had some diareah on and off past couple of weeks. No rash as of yet. Had some tension  headaches. feeling a little bit fatigued. Muscle aches in shoulders and back. No fever but curiously my temperature seems to be slightly lower than mormal. Had a sore in my mouth yesterday that is not painful and some white covering of the tongue. Not sure if it is thrush as I am not qualified to make that call. Does not look as bad as what i have seen online and could be due to dehydration too. Also 1 lymph node on one side of mu neck seems a bit swollen. I guess my question is how accurate would an HIV test be at only 21 days and assuming I did have unprotected sex that night what are my chances of contracting HIV. Last question is I told my girlfriend what happen and she was obviously furious. We have been having protected sex with condoms. I have been making sure we use them every time and correctly like the cdc advises. What is the risk to her assuming I am infected. I would never want to harm her in any way so I need to know. Thank you.

[Sara_MHModerator]

As our members have clearly stated, you tested negative conclusively and do not have HIV.

***  thread closed ***

[mamamia247]

I have read this again and again and again and i do not see how a stripper would have offered you her services and by morning you dont realise you are $100 or $50 bucks light in your pocket depending on how much they cost in that part of the world you live in. I think its just paranoia. KINDLY MOVE ON!

[WorriedandScared42]

I did spend money that night. And im sure my mind is playing some pretty bad tricks on me for the past weeks I wont deny that. As far as I know i had 200 in cash spent a bunch on the bar and the girls on stage. Also had 2 charges on my statement in the club as well for 60 and 70 dollars. It makes me wonder. I know you guys hear this kind of thing all the time but its the fact that I dont have full memory of the night which really bothers me. The only thing left to do is retest but until then the dread hangs over me. Thanks for the response.

[AnxiousNoMore]

If she got your money, she probably took it and skipped the sex. She would use a condom anyway.

[diver58]

Relax, you do not seem to be at any significant risk.... Your 21 days test is highly reassuring because these days, 4th generation Duo test is standard screening test worldwide in general and developed world in particular....

Unprotected sex is your own assumption because CSW's themselves are more careful than their visitors and never go unprotected.  Even if there was a penetrative sex, it was not unprotected.

Suggest you to repeat your Duo test after a week from now, collect your conclusive report and move on with your life normally.

Next time, keep alcohol away while with a woman, they do not mix well

[WorriedandScared42]

Thank you diver58 for the response. Im sure your assessment is correct. I will retest at the 6 week mark and make sure it is a Duo test that is used. I can assume that my girlfriend is protected so long as we continue to use condoms and only have vaginal sex correct?   And yes it was a very stupid mistake that I have learned a lot from one way or another.  Do you have any advise for coping with the anxiety that is my constant companion last few weeks?

[AnxiousNoMore]

The advice to test in 1 week was correct so no need to delay 2 extra.
Did you miss any money? She wouldn't have sex for free. Even if she took your money, I doubt she had sex with you if she could avoid it, so I would stop worrying and forget about this for 1 week then test.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Also don't bother worrying about all those self diagnosed symptoms, because doctors don't diagnose from symptoms so you can tell from that, that it is a waste of time. Best to stay off the internet because there is no useful info there. Only way for a doc to diagnose hiv is from a test, so the more you google the more anxious you will be.

[WorriedandScared42]

This is probably true. I am assuming that the majority of symptoms can be brought on by the extreme anxiety and stress one feels when they think they may have contracted a life threatening disease. The human mind trys to find connections and come up with solutions based on the information it has to work with. Unfortunately most of us do not have medical degrees and were trying desperately to put together a puzzle without having all the pieces. This is my logical brain saying this right now but tonight or tomorrow guaranteed when i wake up my logical brain will be fighting my irrational brain lol. Anyhow thank you both for the reassurance.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Just focus on the fact that a doctor would not study your body and then enjoy your life, because it appears that nothing happened for the reasons diver pointed out and you can test in 6 days for confirmation.

[WorriedandScared42]

Alright I know this thread is old now but I just wanted to follow up one last time. I ended up waiting until exactly the 8 week mark (56 days) and retested using a 4th generation test again. My results were again negative. I am going this week for my final confirmatory test. I know this is way out of the new guidelines (this will be 21 weeks) but I dont want to leave any doubt in my own mind. Still having that swollen node and white tongue. And occasional loose stool. My question is how confident should I feel in that 8 week test with the persisting symptoms? I will find out this week but I am quite nervous again. Thanks!

[AnxiousNoMore]

You tested using even longer than the guidelines given here but your question indicates that you do not believe anything you were told. Not sure why you are asking for more guidelines when you didn't believe the first one.
There are no guidelines for taking the placebo tests that you are planning to do, so you can take them whenever and as often as you want, however the only health problem you have is hiv phobia which is wasting your life living in fear of a disease that can't exist. At this point that anxiety should be addressed by a therapist in a one on one discussion, which chat forums will not be able to help with.

[WorriedandScared42]

Alright your probably right. Will post the results all the same and move on. Thanks for the reply.

[AnxiousNoMore]

No need to post the results since we already know your status. Consider seeing a therapist to try to end this fear, instead of wasting your time doing multiple testing.

[WorriedandScared42]

Well actually. I do have another question which Im hoping can be answered. I know I was told that at 28 days (4weeks) post exposure the 4th generation test is conclusive. Now I have alos seen on this very same forum that 3 months is conclusive. So a big part of my anxiety is which one is correct? I am not trying to argue or make a statement but I would like some clarification. There is a post not even a month ago here from a community leader stating that 3 months is conclusive. And that seems to be the thing. Some people say 28 days is conclusive such as in the UK and some say that 3 months is conclusive as the CDC said for a long time. Which is it? If its 3 months then my 2 previous tests dont seem to have much value. Thats what im trying to understand. Thanks for your time and patience answering this.

[AnxiousNoMore]

No, you haven't seen anyone on this forum saying 4 gen is not conclusive until 12 weeks, unless you are referring to new posters who google until they find a conservative website that says to do that. we rely on the opinion of expert doctors so can't be arguing with everyone who googles otherwise we will be here all night. CDC is ultra conservative and outdated so if you want to use their guidelines, that is up to you.

Any test other than 4 gen is conclusive after 12 weeks, so perhaps that was what you were thinking. Provide the link to the community leader post if you feel you read otherwise.

[WorriedandScared42]

Sir please dont be condescending. Im not an HIV expert but im not a child either. Would you like me to link the post to you since your telling me it does not exist? Here you go.

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Difference-between-hiv-screening-and-hiv-diagnostic-tests-/show/3055882

[WorriedandScared42]

Is the poster who states "That thread you found is from 12 years ago.  An Ag/Ab test (also known as a 4th or 5th generation test) is currently the standard.  If you tested 3 months after the event, your test is conclusive and you do not have HIV. " not a community leader? I understand you must be frustrated with hearing the same questions over and over again but as there is conflicting information being presented here from your moderators Im only trying to understand when the test is accurate. Thanks again.

[WorriedandScared42]

Now to be completely fair. The way this is worded could mean that 28 days was conclusive. 6 weeks was conclusive. Or 2 months was conclusive. So without sidestepping the question im asking you directly and specifically when they test is 99% conclusive because its definitely not at 28 days. So when would it be 99% conclusive? 5% may not seem like a big risk when talking about the weather but were not talking about the weather here. Thanks again.

[AnxiousNoMore]

4 gen is also known as duo and is conclusive after 4 weeks. I also said "Any test other than 4 gen is conclusive after 12 weeks,"
I'm not condescending. Just getting the info lined up so we could communicate about the same thing. He always says 28 is conclusive and stated that to you on Feb 17 on this thread, so we can move on from that. You don't have hiv so nothing left to say.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Actually when i reviewed his advice here, it looks like his advice was forgetting that you tested at 3 weeks but it was 5 when you posted. So it seems like a communication mix-up when he told you to wait a week to test, because you could have tested immediately.
I drilled down on his old posts and here is one where he says 4 weeks, so the above advice was mixing up your dates. No wonder you were asking me about 6 weeks.
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/4th-gen-Hiv-test-4-weeks-after-exposure/show/3050403