Nine years ago, I had an HIV scare. This is how it went:
I performed "heavy" cunnillingus (I sucked and swallowed fluids, which tasted strange) on a woman I would rate as highly likely to have STDs, immediately after condom-protected sex. Then about a week later I notice a scab on my scrotum and tore up the internet for info, and got a lot of anxiety. Long story short, I did get tested for HIV, it was the EIA test, negative at 10 weeks. This was the riskiest sex event I've ever had.
About 5 years ago I felt like I had a lump in my throat, went in to do tests, no cause was found. Again I got obsessed with it, because eventually I linked it to HIV (from internet again).. Eventually I calmed down and it went away. But I am still not sure why I got it. One day I got to talk to a medical professional who knew someone with HIV and I asked what symptom did they have? Throat stricture is what he said.
Fast forward to now:
I am having symptoms suggestive of peripheral neuropathy: part of my foot is numb and I realized later that the nerve irritation goes at least up to my calf (I feel numb and aches at other spots on the foot, rubbing back of calf causes tingling to shoot down heel) - My Dr is somewhat puzzled and wants me to just see if it gets better on its own.
Few days later at work I feel pain coming and going from a point on my wrist, and my ring and pinky went a bit numb for a while. (same side of my body as the affected foot) The next day I wondered if those might be linked and googled to learn about PN and noticed HIV a possible cause. WTF.
Talked to my doc and he said he wasn't worried yet because I didn't have numbness on my face. Well at least until I checked.. after I went home I started feeling the tip of my nose and it didn't feel right. Like it's not numb but not totally sensitive. Started to notice my nostrils were the same. Noticed when I took my glasses off I'm numb above the ear on one side. And now I notice, and it is getting slightly worse over a few days, my eyesight - I am seeing a haze around lights, vision kind of blurry. Yes I read that blurred vision and even numbed face are symptoms of anxiety... But what if you wake up the next morning and there's no change? That's me the past two days.
I am in full panic mode now, as I realize I am right about the number of years to start having debilitating effects of AIDS. I looked in the mirror tonight, and my face does appear to have aged a lot in recent years.
I am 9 years older but should my face look quite this gaunt? I seem to be losing fat on my hands and feet, now that I look at them.
And what about this digestion problem that's been getting worse? I can't seem to eat much of anything without feeling full or having acid, and my stool is really pale at times, usually broken up and greasy. I sometimes get slight nausea after eating.
Could it all be coincidence? My single, 10 wk negative antibodies result suddenly seems so long ago, so far away.. Doubt is creeping in. I am terrified. I just can't fathom another cause for these weird symptoms, in this combination, with this timing.