Had unprotected vaginal sex with a female yesterday 3/10 at around 10am, before we got into it she showed me her most recent test results (12/28/19) as did I (1/3/20), immediately after I experienced a panic attack and she felt how worried I was and tried to calm me down. We ended up going to a clinic together where she got tested with the rapid test (not sure what gen), her test result was negative. now I know there is a window period of course and she swears up and down the last time she had intercourse was 3 weeks ago with a partner she’s been dealing with for 2 years+ up until recently and he also got tested recently. Currently I’m freaking out and considering going to the ER for PEP. Please advise
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Avatar universal
Is a negative test at 3 weeks promising
Helpful - 0
PEP ingestion risk is for people who had unprotected sex with a known positive person, which she is not. I wouldn't even consider PEP (plus she tested somewhat recently), if she had limited exposures since that test window period ended.
I'm not sure why she doesn't use a condom instead of testing since she is cognizant of the risks, so perhaps if you talk with her some more she can relax you by explaining exactly how many and who they were. Then get her to take a duo 4 weeks after her partner encounter, or maybe she can get him to test now.
She said he also tested somewhat recently. According to her she had only been with one guy in the window period of 12/28-3/10, her rapid test yesterday came back negative, also I feel like she would get tested again in a week or so but if that comes back positive I would have already missed the pep window period , I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to reply
You should stop worrying about hiv.
She should take a 4 gen at the appropriate 4 week window instead of testing weekly with a device that you don't know the generation of - it will be unknown conclusiveness if she doesn't know the window to follow.
I just spoke to her again, her last sexual encounter before me was feb23, making the test at 17 days post exposure, probably not long enough for any antibodies to show idk, I feel crazy
You have an insanely low chance of getting HIV from this event.  The test would likely have picked up antigens by that time.  Even if she is HIV+ your odds from a one-time encounter are 0.04%.  That's a 99.96% chance of not getting HIV.  The choice of whether to take PEP or not is yours alone, but it is an overreaction to have this level of concern, considering that she is not likely to be HIV+ (most people aren't).
Thank you, well I think my incessant questions have annoyed her to the max, she is no longer responsive. I admit to having bad anxiety about this, she saw I was having a panic attack and agreed to go to the clinic w/ me right away.  Regardless I’m just afraid if I miss the window period for PEP now and then she texts me a week or two later that she tested positive I’ll go insane. It’s going on 24 hours since the last insertive vaginal sex I had with her. Also I think my level of concern stems from the fact that she told me her previous partner was a cheater or she assumed him to be a cheater. Idk. The PEP side effects seem scary
Not gonna lie - I would stop responding, too.  No one else should feel responsible for, or obligated to accommodate, your anxiety.  Do what you think is best, but by all means, you should consider counseling for anxiety.  Your response is out of proportion to what the situation warrants.
I will get counseling because this is no way to live. On the other hand I will say I asked her if she had been with anyone since the 12/28 test she said no, this turned out to be a lie, which in turn set my paranoia off — thank you for taking the time out of your day to answer, in my defense I guess all the varying information online about window periods/ different tests etc etc also contribute to my worry regardless if warranted or not.
Avatar universal
I’m worried what if she was mid sero conversion
Helpful - 0
No worries, late seroconversion is an old myth, long ago disproven. If she tests past the window period then she is conclusive. Avoid PEP since there are serious potential permanent side effects with a higher % chance of happening compared to the chance of male infection from vaginal is virtually zero. A duo has a 4 week window for conclusive result so with that option, she has only 1 week left for that test.
I guess I’m just worried about her last sexual encounter before me, what if it wasn’t 3 weeks ago? You know, wouldn’t the PEP be worth starting
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