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HIV anxiety/testing

Hello everyone,
I have a few questions about testing anxiety while you’re testing for HIV etc.. let’s start.
I had a boyfriend (we started our relationship in May and we broke up in September) he was the first person with who I had closer contact ( sexual contact) we were using condoms but we had some moments when my partner was inserting his penis with no condom but then we used them.. we were talking about testing and he said that he was testing and he is clean.. we broke up just because I’m moving out and he has other expectations from life, so we decided to be a friends.. the thing is like I was getting sick few times and also my lymph node is bigger so when I started to read in internet why that can be caused I saw that even that could be HIV.. I went to the doctor and I didn’t have mono lub strep throat ( I had some much sore throat in August almost all months so maybe after that my tonsils stayed bigger and lymph node as well) the last sex we had at the beginning of September.. I did 4 tests, oraquick which was negative and then I went to planned parenthood and I took alere determine combo an/ag 4 th after 6 weeks ( 6 weeks after the last sex)-negative then I took the same rapid alere combo after almost 9 weeks and was negative and few days ago I took again the same rapid yes alere determine combo to close 3 months after last sex.. I also called my ex boyfriend and he said that there is nothing to worry about, he cares about those things and he said that he was testing himself when we started our relationship and also 3 weeks ago he took STD tests and HIV because he had some problems with urinating and he said that everything is fine, he also sent me a picture of those tests (he took 2 tests this year) that calmed me down but i don’t know why I’m still kind of freaked out, counselor in place where I took the last test said that I’m negative and I need to move on, but anxiety is still with me.. that’s why I have still some questions:

1. Is rapid test after 3 months enough to say that there is nothing to worry about and I can move on?

2. Is alere determine combo 4th generation test a good test? In planned parenthood they said that test is accurate after 4 weeks and even conclusive after 6 weeks

3. Should I just find some place or therapist with who I can talk about that and fight with anxiety?
4. Are my tests already conclusive?
I don’t really want to end up like a lot of people on this forum that I’ll keep testing and testing and freaking out
2 Responses
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20620809 tn?1504362969
Regardless of your worry and additional posts, you tested conclusively negative. Your health care professionals that have tested you have told you to move on.  We are telling you to move on.  A boyfriend is not a high risk partner but none the less, you tested and were negative. You have to either accept this and truly move on or get help for your anxiety.  If you find you can't move past it and are fretting on and on or other areas of your life are over run with anxiety, then it's in your best interest to treat your anxiety for a better life.  Hope you do.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
Thank you for your answer! Does that makes difference if I did the last test 3 days before 3 months mark?
No, and some say you only need 6 weeks so see the therapist instead of wasting your life in fear for no reason.
Avatar universal
The 4 gen is conclusive after 4 weeks so you are wasting your time trying to work up an HIV theory. People cough on your lips and door knobs so sore throat is to be expected at any time.
You don't have any medical training so should listen to the counselor's advice to move on instead of having so much confidence in your ability to diagnose hIv and having zero confidence in the tests which were designed by scientists.
Helpful - 0
4 Comments
I know that 4th generation test is conclusive after 4 weeks, but I did RAPID 4th generation test so that’s why I’m asking
3. Yes, your anxiety is a bit of a mental health problem after all these tests, so see a therapist to try to get immediate relief, instead of suffering in mental agony due to not accepting the science.
Any test is conclusive after 3 months and you did that too, so you need to move on.
I was just wondering between rapid test and lab test, which of them are more accurate.. I did only rapid tests and I wanted to know if these are already conclusive
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