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Help! What is my risk of transmission from oral sex with an HIV+ partner?

To start, I have read over many posts concerning oral sex and know what the theoretical risk is BUT like many others feel like I am an anomaly.  I am a 29 yo homosexual man that had oral sex with a young man on April 9th.  It was 90% insertive but I gave him oral back for about 2 minutes- he did not ejaculate.  AFTER the encounter he informed me that he was indeed HIV+ and reassured me that he was on ART and that his viral load was undetectable; he stated that he was proud of himself for never missing a dose.  After asking, he gave me lab results from July '17 and another from April 24, 2018 with undetectable viral loads.  I have been feeling off for about 2 months now and was recently diagnosed with Mono after confirmation with the heterophile Ab test. My concern is that about a week following the encounter, I developed an oral ulcer and varying stools- some days loose and others constipated, which I believe has resulted in an anal fissure.  I was also diagnosed with IBS years back but haven't had many issues with it.  In addition, I have a splotchy redness on both of my forearms that comes and goes and feels like it burns sometimes.  It is not raised or bumpy, and everyone tells me I'm crazy and thats it's not even there.  I am convinced this is ARS because everything i read states that oral/anal ulcers are uncommon with mono and common with ARS, as well as this redness/burning of the arms.  I have no fever or sore throat but my anxiety/stress has put me in a depression- when I wake up in the morning all I can think about is going back to sleep later on.  I have also read that a positive mono test can be a false positive for ARS.  I know testing is the only reliable indicator but I don't want to test until I know the results will be accurate.  If anyone could provide some reassurance it would be greatly appreciated- I think I am literally worrying myself sick.  I like this man and I want to believe he wouldn't put me at risk, but at the end of the day I don't know him well.
What is my risk from this encounter?
How common is a false positive mono test when you actually have ARS?
When is a reliable timeline to test with 3rd and 4th gen?
Can anxiety or mono cause ulcers/redness/tingling/burning/GI problems?
What is the likelihood that this mans viral load was undetectable on the 9th with a result from the 24th?

Thanks in advance, going crazy.
2 Responses
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3191940 tn?1447268717
COMMUNITY LEADER
Your risk is as close to zero as it can be.  The only suspected cases of transmission via oral sex have involved individuals with very high viral loads - either undiagnosed or not on meds for some other reason.  It is not possible to decrease viral load to undetectable that quickly.  He would have been at least close to undetectable, if not undetectable, at the time of your encounter.

Is it possible?  Think of it this way - if I ask an expert if it's possible to contract malaria during a visit to Iceland, they would say no, as it's universally accepted that the mosquito population in Iceland is zero.   But no one can say with 100% certainty that there are NO mosquitos.  It's still not something ANYONE logical would worry about, at all, because again, the odds are as close to zero as it's possible to attain.
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4 Comments
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond- I have read and read and read and know that this is the case, but it is reassuring to have someone respond personally.  Keep up the good work!
You can get E coli from a hamburger but you can't spend your life testing after every meal and living in fear waiting for results each time.
If this true why would you tell me that oral is not a risk? :/(
There has been no concrete case recorded in the history of HIV transmission through giving or receiving oral sex, though there are some cases that keeps on surfacing every now and then.  However,  the credibility of the information presented is questionable.

Based on the study of HIV transmission, many expert on and off the internet have concluded oral sex is not a correct way for HIV transmission.
Avatar universal
There are no credible posts here saying oral is a risk - perhaps you are confusing people the advice with posts from people who have no medical training who worry that they got hIV from oral.

It is dead in saliva and also in air so impossible to get from oral. Or you could be interchanging the words no risk with low risk. Consider therapy for your abnormal fixation that "s feel like I am an anomaly" since you are wasting your life in fear over it. This is not a diagnostic forum - salso your "symptoms are likely in your imagination ("everyone tells me I'm crazy and thats it's not even there").
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1 Comments
Thank you for the response- I know that I am being irrational and that my anxiety has taken over my life.  Just regretting this decision and it's taking its toll.  
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