High risk lifestyle along with symptoms

[Atlexposed]

I'm a 34  year old gay African American male living in Atlanta Ga were HIV is relatively high amongst men who have sex with men. Last year I was diagnosed with hsv1 and 2 when I moved here from Louisiana . I read from many cites informing me about level of risk including symptoms . My concerns are the symptoms I've been experiencing after encounters. I've been here a year now and since living here I've had multiple sexual encounters. Unprotected oral sex on three guys giving and receiving. I also met a guy on an app called Grindr who I engaged in protected anal sex however, I know we used the condom incorrectly because first we used massage oil which caused me to be extremely irritated within my anus. I read that using these types of oils degrade latex in less than 60 seconds .I also noticing him rolling up the condom as he pulled out as if it was to big or if he was losing an erection. This was also a condom that he provided which I'm unaware if how he could have properly handle it or if he damaged it intentionally. Because possibly two weeks later after this event and the oral sex acts before it I started developing a really bad cold. I didn't think much of the cold because if flu season . What really caused me to worry was the chronic itching all over my body and a rash on both upper thighs that went away then another developing currently on my upper back starting in the middle and spreading in a symmetrical pattern to the shoulders along with swollen glands behind my back and groin and feeling hot (mild feve) and feeling tired .I'm extremely terrified
When I tried to contact the guy about his HIV status he wasn't direct with me and he showed me to bogus lab work that didn't mention anything about HIV but something about Jam2 negative whatever that mean. I truly think he did something to that condom. Please help

[CurfewX]

Also, just wanted to reassure you that your lifestyle is not "high risk."  If you use condoms for penetrative sex consistently, then you aren't putting yourself at risk for HIV.  You may want to talk to a doctor about PrEP, though.  It's a viable option, particularly for gay men who are not in a monogamous relationship, and who live in an area where HIV rates are relatively high.

[Atlexposed]

I really appreciate and admire the fact there's individuals providing information to help support peace for others . I've also, worked in hiv/aids outreach in Louisiana where I experienced training on prevention and transmission, "including the symptoms". Definitely sorry for the late response, but I had to go back and re-read everything you've elaborated to me.  Sure oral sex isn't truly of a concern regarding HIV , however  when I stated the condom could've had failure was when I notice something leaking from the side of it as it had a small slit or something . I was definitely poor about just really checking to see if it had any holes in because my hormones got the best of me. I was so adamant about leaving and was like " if anything happens to me I would definitely know because being  aware of HIV seroconversion and timing". Then I guess here comes the symptoms especially the rash that's spreading on my back and the swollen glands directly behind my back and groin. From what I'm formation I retained on a posted video from a dermatologist and YouTube that any deviation of the skin means a immmune response especially when the characteristics of the rash or generalized. Yes, my skin itches a little and if you've possibly heard before that HIV symptoms or not specific . Wouldn't that make anyone assume the the rash of seroconversion be different in people. I'm not sure if it's look the same. So , that has me really worried. I ordered and HIV home test kit online and waiting for it to arrive just to be on the safe side . Giving your respected advice
Thank you

[CurfewX]

Oil is dangerous and is not recommended because it can cause a condom to break.  However, your condom did not visibly break, and that's what the oil would do that would cause an HIV risk for you.  You can rest assured that if the condom was visibly intact, you didn't have a risk for HIV from that encounter.  Although popular, mythical "microscopic holes" in condoms don't exist and wouldn't be a risk for HIV.  

Oral sex is not considered a risk, so you can put that out of your mind.

HIV seroconversion rashes (aka ARS rashes) do not itch.  Whatever is causing your rash is not related to HIV.  

It sounds like that, in addition to the unknown, non-HIV rash, you have a common viral or bacterial illness.  There is no event that you have described here that would be an HIV risk.  There is no "something" that he could do to the condom that would be risky for HIV, that wouldn't also cause the condom to burst.

[Atlexposed]

Thank you for your clarifications! I was really worried because I'm already consider high risk , because of my lifestyle, alreading having herpes, and even the low risk activity giving oral sex would increase my chances of being infected because of having herpes. I want go back and forward with you on here with anxiety driven questions. I'm going to trust the advice and move forward with being tested .

[CurfewX]

I'm glad you can keep this in perspective!  Herpes only increases the risk if there's a real risk to begin with, e.g., unprotected anal sex.  Here's a good article with a quick explanation regarding why having herpes increases risk - note that the increase ONLY applies to genital HSV: https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/why-genital-herpes-boosts-risk-hiv-infection