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Hiv risk from cunnulingus during period with GT

Hi there. 33 yo male from Europe here.

I had an encounter with a girl 8 weeks ago. We had protected vaginal sex and unprotected oral both ways. Before we had sex I asked her to do STI check, as I did as well, as she stated that she had no sexual partners for 3+ months and her tests are conclusive so I trusted her and she did 3 test within a 10 days period (2 rapid + 4th gen + HCV + Syphilis rapid). All negative.

I was okay with that. She was at the end of her period and actually thought it was over a few days before. I licked her but it was quite dark so I didn't see much. At the very end, I spotted small traces of blood on her white underwear, that she put up just right before the encounter. It means that her period wasn't over yet.

As I trusted tests and her I ignored it completely. 10 days after I had some throat pain and touchy lymph nodes in my neck but I ignored it as well. It happens to me sometimes because of EBV. But around 6 weeks I started to feel nausea, had rash-like, flat, non-itchy, redness on my chest 3 days in a row, that appeared quickly and disappeared 2-3 hours later. It looked like a medicine allergy, but I take no medicine. Then came back the next day and the day after. Same pattern. I haven't seen it any more since then. It freaked me out completely. Since 2 weeks I have discomfort under the right and left rib (spleen + liver). I know that feeling to well from mono I had before, but it has never come back until now. I feel constantly tired, my legs are achy. Then I came back to living and I felt very well. Since a few weeks back after that encounter.

Some of you will say that mouth is not a route for HIV infection as saliva deactivates virus, but the EBV episode triggered geographic tongue so I have chronic, benign inflammation of the tongue (bald, sometimes inflamed patches on my tongue).
In case she lied to me about recent sexual partners (I've seen tests results) and got infected recently + menstrual blood traces + geographic tongue, is that a valid route for HIV infection in that case? I would say I knew a lot about HIV and testing, all possibilities of late seroconversions, tests etc. but that was somewhat surprising and new type of risk to me as I don't even like sex during periods.

I can't test until mid-November (it will be 11 weeks) as I'm out of the country and feel really scared due to these symptoms. I hope it's something else.. but never know.
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Avatar universal
Just an update. ~11 weeks.
Rapid HIV 3 gen - Negative
Ab/ag HIV 4th gen - Negative
Rapid Syphilis - Negative
Rapid HCV - Negative
Tested and governemntal sti center.

CMV - positive. Confirmed cytomegaly.
Quite easy to diagnose as I said I was going througu EBV mono last year so this one was excluded as it is very rare to flare up again. Splenohepatomegaly confirmed as well. It is very hard to for somoene who had mono to do not recognise it immediately. Just connected dots with new partner and strange, obvious symptoms. I was afaid of HIV as hepatospleenomegaly is a symptom i 14% cases of ARS. Happy with results. Thanx for reassurance
Just to sum up. If u continuaslu get tested HIV negative and afraid you might get it, always should check for EBV and CMV as they mimic ARS and are extremly hard to distinguish even by medical practitioner. Best of luck.
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Avatar universal
It's not possible to get infected by using a condom. You've had a cold or the flu before, you're just being overly dramatic. I think it's time to accept that you have been jumping to all the wrong assumptions and move on. Continue to always use condoms and you'll never get HIV.
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188761 tn?1584567620
COMMUNITY LEADER
"We had protected vaginal sex"

You were safe and had no risk.  You did the right thing. It doesn't matter whether she lied to you or not.  Irrespective of geographic tongue or any other oral ailment HIV can not be transmitted through that route.  Saliva contains proteins that truly inhibits the virus.

You were protected through out the intercourse and did not have a risk.  I suggest you to think rationally and move on.  Incase you have difficulty in accepting the fact,  please seek counseling.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This answers all your HIV questions and if you think of any others, then you can get the answer if you just reread about the 3.
You had no risk for HIV so a test would be a waste of time.
HIV is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.  
Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal with a penis
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex with a penis
3. sharing needles that you inject with. Knowing these 3 are all you need to know to protect yourself against HIV. The situation you describe is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. Doctors have calculated the risk from what you describe to be less than that of being hit by a meteor, therefore no one will get HIV from what you did in the next 40 years of your life either. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established, so no detail that you can add to your encounter will change it from zero risk.
"I hope it's something else.. but never know. " You don't have any medical training, so it is not surprising that you are ignoring the reality that you can't have HIV, and are focusing on what you feel are HIV symptoms. The reality is no HIV risk=no HIV disease=no HIV symptoms.
Helpful - 0
3 Comments
I had 3 sexual partners in my entire life. Before last year I was healthy like horse. No flu, no fevers, no antibiotics for over a decade. Healthy lifestyle, sports, home-office work etc. Suddenly after 1 instance of protected sex with new girl I was blown away in to the space 6 weeks later last year. This moment changed my life completly. I tested for HIV 13 times including 4th, 3rd, PCR RNA and all possible viruses and bacteria you can imagine incl. HTLV I, that can be carried via intercourse. It took 18 doctor visits and 200+ tests to diagnose me with Mono as everything showed up negative for very long time, but how my life looked for these 4-5 months, no one can imagine I think. Everybody was telling me I'm mental and need consueling. I wasn't and I didn't need it. I needed proper diagnosis as I was unable to function for many months right after 1 instance of protected vaginal and unprotected oral sex with new partner. I was one little step from complete break down as I hold on with university, work, workout, friends meetings, I couldn't move from bed for long weeks. A person who was so healthy! How many thousand hours I've spent learning about HIV and other possible STI's, reading medical publications, interviews with doctors, nurses, hiv infected people, even meeting one to know this virus better as something was ripping me apart and no one knew what was that. It took me a lot of time and effort to get back to normal life after that. Now I had 1 instance of sex with new partner after long time of celibate, I did everything I could to be "safe" this time and took all precautions. And then here it is, milder symptoms but here they are again and it is not mental thing as I see what I see, and feel what I feel. Is I already have EBV so it is not EBV, maybe CMV then if not HIV, but definetly something. I know my body very well. If I were home I would just tested and have this almost resolved. But I'm not and needed some reasurance. As for the oral risks, some sources say that inflamation in mouth increases risk, blood increases risks. That's why I'm asking. It's not that I'm completly green in HIV and other viruses routes of infection, but this one seemed to me so specific and unusuall that I had to ask here. I've never faced this type of situation during my previous searches. But if you say so. I'll just calm down a bit and await for test result in November. Thank you for your advice.
I wonder how it is made, that I have friends who has dozens of sexual partners protected and unprotected and they have 0 problems with that. I have friend's who regurally visit CSW and nothing happens. I change my partners extremly rarerly, I'm in long term relationships, I take all precations and every single time I have some stuff attaching to me immediately. From first out of these 3 I got immediately HSV1 and HPV with these disgusting cauliflowers in my genital area that I had to be removed by surgeron! After second one, EBV and a special gift with chronic tonsilitis and Geographic Tongue and spleen and liver enlargement for 8 months!, from 3rd one I don't know yet I bet on CMV now if not HIV. Srsly, sex became a traumatic experience for me. And I try pick normal girls, that had small amout of sexual partners usually after long relationships, I test myself, I force them to test, we use condoms etc. What is goin on?!
"I know my body very well." you are thinking your body can't get flu because you don't think you had it before. This is unscientific thinking. The reality is no one knows their body's disease schedule for flu because there isn't one; so you are mistaken. You have so many misconceptions that I am not going over all of them, but one example is your claim that you should be "flu-free" just because you claim you never had one before. The reality is that flu is caused by a virus when someone coughs on your lips, food or door knob so flu is to be expected at any time. You need to see your doctor for some basic explanations of disease.
It is abnormal to test repeatedly for something you are negative for. You have Hiv phobia to do all that testing when you had zero risk. You don't have any medical training, so it is unrealistic for you to have so much confidence in your science fiction theory that you got HIV from what is a zero risk event.
"How many thousand hours I've spent learning about HIV and other possible STI's, reading medical publications, interviews with doctors, nurses," Do yourself a favor and seek professional help for your mental problem that makes you so confident in your science fiction medical claims. Your medical ideas are not scientific, so you need to discuss that with the therapist as well.
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