Wearing a condom protected you from HIV transmission. Only the head of your penis needs to be covered for protection. So, you do not describe any risk at all. The only ways adults get HIV is unprotected vaginal or anal sex or sharing IV drug needles. No risk
Your situation involves personal contact with an object in air (her body which is not a risk for hiv.) No worries, because you can't get hiv from personal contact except unprotected penetrating vaginal or anal, neither of which you did and you didn't share hollow needles to inject with which is the only other way to acquire hiv. Analysis of large numbers of infected people over the 40 years of hiv history has proven that people don't get hiv in the way you are worried is a risk.
HIV is a fragile virus in air or saliva and is effectively instantly dead in either air or saliva so the worst that could happen is dead virus rubbed you, and obviously anything which is dead cannot live again so you are good. Blood and cuts would not be relevant in your situation since the hiv has become effectively dead, so you don't have to worry about them to be sure that you are safe.
If a condom fails it rips apart down the seam and is hard to take off because of the ring and both of you would know it, so that didn't happen. You should move on from this non event just like she did.
I can understand why she has stopped taking your phone calls, since she knows your theory that she has hiv is incorrect. She wouldn't pay for condoms if she had hiv, because she only cares about her own health and not yours.
Everyone thinks they have hiv symptoms but all you have is an unrelated possible throat issue. Best to stop poking your lymph and irritating it because you don't know what lymph is supposed to feel like. See doc if concerned.
Oral, anal or vaginal? Was it protected?