You used a condom and it didn't break. You had no risk. It's time to stop obsessing and accept the fact that you had nothing to worry about. Keep using condoms and you'll be fine.
If a condom fails it rips down the seam and hangs in tatters, so there is no need for inspections like you have been doing. Move on from HIV fear. I don't blame her for avoiding your silly questions, so you should listen to her advice if you can't get over this fear.
People cough on your lips and door knobs but you can't see the virus, so your sore throat is to be expected at any time.