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1279914 tn?1271246163

I fear i may have given myself and my wife HIV!!

i posted here once before, and since that post i have noticed new things with my wife.

my story is that i made a very bad mistake and had high risk unprotected vaginal sex with a girl from japan.
some protected and some unprotected vaginal sex while on her period to be exact. i have already worried myself sick. whats making it worse is i am noticing some scary changes in my wife since the exposure i had with this other woman.

the purpose of this post is for people to hopefully dismiss as many symptoms as possible being related to an acute HIV infection with my wife. i myself was tested via blood draw and rapid test several times over the last few weeks. my last exposure with the japanese girl was on feb 28th and my last test was a rapid blood test (finger prick) on april 15th .. that result was HIV negative 46 days after exposure. so far i know thats a good sign. but i am worried about my wife and need to be a rock for her right now. Thats very hard when i know i am the whole reason responsible for this worry and anxiety.

here are her symptoms after my huge mistake on feb 28th:

my wife's symptoms: (all occurred in the last month at some point)

first round of symptoms with in the last month:
1 an outbreak in genital warts (first time ever)
2 abnormal pap smear
3 a yeast infection (doctor provided meds for this)
4 a non std related bacterial infection of the vagina (doctor provided meds)
5 hot flashes during the day (these have gone away)

2nd round of symptoms with in the last month:
6 some light spotting too soon after her last period (lasted for a few days)
7 a sore throat with small ear pain (lasted about 2 or 3 days)
8 got dizzy a few times in the last few days
9 yesterday she had a normal color discharge from the vagina at end of day but she said it was certainly more than normally comes out.
tender breasts in the morning.

all of this is still getting to me due to the timing. was wondering if you mind giving your opinion to which (if any) of these could be possible symptoms of an acute HIV infection if i did pick it up on Feb 28th and pass it to here some time after that in the meantime.

i fear the worst for her and think i need to have some advice. she is not due to see a doctor until next week. i want to be strong for her as she goes through these strange symptoms, but the worry of perhaps having and spreading HIV to her is making that very difficult. i need to be a rock for her. she is frustrated. but i need answers if you have any.

hope you understand my troubles. would love to hear back from you soon. i feel like the worst person in the world for this. currently i am awaiting a DNA PCR test result thats due back on thursday. if thats negative i will still go back at the 3 month mark for a final antibody test. my nerves are shot, my sleep is almost not existent. please please please give me feedback.

i just want to add there were 4 weeks While i did not have HIV paranoia that i slept w my wife. since than i have remained abstinent from her. i cant and wont expose her to anymore danger now that i know the possibility. may find this hard to believe given what i have done but i am very much in love with her and just want her to be ok. i know i made a huge mistake and i will never make it again. we have been together for 10 years and  want to be with her for a very very long time.
16 Responses
Avatar universal
Been there mate, my wife had a macupapular rash back chest and legs! You need to relax. Ive heard Sean say, typically ARS occurs as a Triad, extremley sore throat, rash, high temp- this would apparently be indicative.

Now ARS doesn't follow any specific thing, it doesn't even appear in some people at all. I'd take solace in the fact 22 days is the average seroconversion period, you tested at 44 days. Always good!
1279914 tn?1271246163
wow that would have scared the crap out me. i know 40 plus days is a great sign but i swear almost every other day i notice something else she is going through that "could" be HIV related. its like i have better than 20/20 vision for noticing things to freak me out more. thanks for the upbeat response and thanks for sharing. i am assuming your situation worked out fine. hope i am as lucky as you. its amazing how much i have learned my lesson from this ordeal.
Avatar universal
Its not about being lucky snurf, its about the woman having hiv or not having hiv.

Ive recently broke out in guttate psriosis, all ove my body- never ever had it, I have an impacted wisdom tooth also- thats got a massive abcess aswel, so my face is looking swollen too, I have a lymph node behind my ear, I have one in my neck.  I get little red purple spots in my mouth near my wisdom teeth.

But you know what, I dont have HIV. You just have to try and focus on something else.

I found CBT great! Everytime you start worrying tell yourself- I haven't got time right now- but give yourself a 10 minute worry period at the end of the night

Try having a day of worrying, a day of not worrying (its hard) and then compare. You will achieve absolutley nothing by worrying Snurf. If it means anything to you- I think you are going to be o.k!
Avatar universal
i have the same fear.. ur not alone..  how could we bo so careless... i will pray for u and hope 4 best.. some times id rather not know but... i love her and want to do the right thing.. even if i lose her.
1279914 tn?1271246163
your right, its not about luck. it is what it is now i guess. just have to wait and see how time pans out with all the testing. hey ... txkid123 i will keep you in my hopes too. i have been trying to figure out how i was so careless. pure and simple answer for me is selfishness. i am going to try to be a less selfish person as much as i can from now on.
1279914 tn?1271246163
i got back results for dna by pcr. negative for hiv. and they took another antibody test too ... also negative. both of these were taken a little over 6 weeks after my exposure. i am in the clear right?? wanna focus on loving my wife and putting this all behind me forever. lesson learned!!!!! not worth it. thanks for all the advise everybody. this site really helped talk me off a ledge a few times.
Avatar universal
PCR-DNA tests are not diagnostic tests.
1279914 tn?1271246163
care to elaborate on that please?
Avatar universal
i took the pcr also... ive read that they are used for those who already have the virus... but i also read that they are done in combination with an antibody test.. they say it can detect the actual prescence of hiv 28 f rom exposure..  thats why i took it
1279914 tn?1271246163
Yep same here. Took both at 6 weeks after exposure. Doctor said I was clear
Avatar universal
Then your doctor is a quack.
1279914 tn?1271246163
are you a doctor?
1184445 tn?1271982816
"Took both at 6 weeks after exposure. Doctor said I was clear" - 3 months is conclusive though.
Avatar universal
FINALLY GOT MY RESULTS ... NEGATIVE... THIS WAS A PCR... AND AS U CAN SEE THEY DO RUN MULTIPLE TESTS.... HAVENT FORGOT ABOUT U... IF WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS.. WE WONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN.. GOD BLESS.. BE OPTOMISTIC

HIV-1 Antibody, Confirmation Western Blot   <1.00   -   Negative   04/19/2010   04/21/2010
HIV 1/O/2 Abs, Qual HIV 1/O/2 Abs, Qual Non Reactive Non Reactive Negative 04/19/2010 04/21/2010
HIV-1 DNA by PCR With HIV Antibodies by ICMA NGVP - Negative 04/19/2010 04/22/2010
Avatar universal
i was in the same place you were (mine and wife's symptoms) and received some support from the members and Dr.'s here, and my own Dr., that I was able to digest and it helped me to reduce the anxiety and get back to living my life (better)  You can check out my posts and the responses and if you have any questions thus far unanswered I would really recommend asking them in the expert forum as well.  Again, it all helped me.
Avatar universal
I&#x27;m going through the same nightmare but I have only me to blame...I pray I get a second chance....I&#x27;ve gone to get tested 60days after possible exposure but never went back for the results ....but have had headaches and nausea and fatigue since....I&#x27;ve known it might be just stress or anxiety. ..but it can also be h.iv.
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