PLEASE my life is at a low point

[juf117]

about 4 years ago i had "sex" with another male.  i didnt know his HIV status.  we had rough open mouth kiss for a period of 10 or 15 mins, i gave him oral sex for about 10 seconds, he gave me oral sex for about 10 seconds also, he grinded his penis on my butt for a little bit but he said he did not insert and he did not ejaculate at all.  is there ANY risk for me here?  what if i had bleeding gums or chapped lips?  i have bleeding gums and chapped lips A LOT but not sure if i had them during that encounter.  another encounter i had was with another man who said he was HIV neg, but you never know.  we had rough open mouth kiss 3 times for about 20 seconds each.  he was chewing gum at the time.  risk for this one?  im not sure but i had a very bad rash outbreak around my mouth area around this time but i dont remember specifically.  i havent been able to get tested because of reasons but i have been living with BAD anxiety for almost 2 years now.  please, any help.   what do you think my risk was?

[juf117]

i appreciate both of your replies.  its just so hard to think about.

[Teak]

At no time were you at risk of contracting HIV.

[spark22]

I'm probably gonna get a ear load for this comment. Lots of people are scared to test even me but you should realize that getting checked is the only real way to end that anxiety. Imagine if you tested and was negative? dude you would be happy and 2 years of stress would be over just like that. And even if you were positive it would be better to know than to have your life slowly pass on and you progress to something worse and then you would be saying "if only I found out sooner". Be bold and have faith. take your life back.....get tested. Goodluck.