Aa
Please help me. I am freaking out. Have resorted to alcohol and cough syrup to sleep
So I recently (exactly 8 days ago) made the stupid choice of meeting up with a girl from tinder, and it was my first time doing so (I am a Virgin), and I regret it terribly now.
After reading the information here, it seems that I might be low risk, but I thought I'd clarify so please please bear with me.
After meeting her, we went back to my place where I showered and put on a condom before going to her. When I was wearing the condom, my penis was erect, but somehow when I tried to penetrate her, it was not erect; it was only semi-erect. Given that, she asked me to take off the condom - which I did - and proceeded to rub her vagina over my penis. Whether or not vaginal fluids got onto it, I do not remember, but I think not. There was no penetration involved at this stage. Naturally, I got more erect and put on another condom. She also gave me a blowjob (with the condom on - I hope - as I felt no moisture) and licked my testicles. Following that, she tried to mount me. Perhaps I was excited or just scared as this was my first time doing so, but I came almost immediately as I felt some pressure along half the length of the head, and this was the end of the story. I got up and discovered that there was vaginal fluid over the my pubes and some parts of the penis that had come lose as she'd tried to insert me into her. What is worth mentioning is that I also fingered/fisted her during the entire duration. I understand that fisting is low risk, if there aren't cuts/wounds on the hand. I washed my hands afterwards, and did not notice any cuts/wounds there, although I may have missed it as I was still very nervous.
I spoke to her after, asked her about her status, and she was angry, saying that she was clean. However, she did mention that she had ****** over 3 guys this year. As such, my question is if I put myself at risk with the following activities, assuming she were HIV Positive and with a high viral load:
1. Fingering & Fisting her - there weren't any wounds, or big open wounds. Might have had a paper cut, but no (unlikely) any sore. Is there a risk if there was a sore present?
2. Having gotten her vaginal fluids over my penis. Head was definitely covered by the condom. The bottom half is the one that had fluid over it.
3. Having penetrated her slightly, but with a condom.
4. Getting a blowjob (with a condom, I hope) and having my testicles licked.
5. Having rubbed my unprotected penis against her vagina. Might/might not have gotten vaginal fluids on the penis.
She insists that we did not ****, because there was minimal penetration (if any), and that the only thing that happened was me fingering her. But I feel there is much more...
After having posted on Poz and having spoke to the local Aids hotline, it appears that the risk stems primarily from no.5. As such, I would appreciate it if you could all tell me what you think, whether there was real risk if I had gotten vaginal fluids on my foreskin/head. I am unable to remember this, but I think it might have been a possibility. If she were HIV, would this mean that I've gotten HIV since the urethra provides a direct access to the bloodline?
I understand that these might have been asked before and would likely come up as low risk, but would appreciate any clarification on this. Have been freaking out, not been able to sleep properly, and have turned to alcohol and cough syrup to sleep.
After reading the information here, it seems that I might be low risk, but I thought I'd clarify so please please bear with me.
After meeting her, we went back to my place where I showered and put on a condom before going to her. When I was wearing the condom, my penis was erect, but somehow when I tried to penetrate her, it was not erect; it was only semi-erect. Given that, she asked me to take off the condom - which I did - and proceeded to rub her vagina over my penis. Whether or not vaginal fluids got onto it, I do not remember, but I think not. There was no penetration involved at this stage. Naturally, I got more erect and put on another condom. She also gave me a blowjob (with the condom on - I hope - as I felt no moisture) and licked my testicles. Following that, she tried to mount me. Perhaps I was excited or just scared as this was my first time doing so, but I came almost immediately as I felt some pressure along half the length of the head, and this was the end of the story. I got up and discovered that there was vaginal fluid over the my pubes and some parts of the penis that had come lose as she'd tried to insert me into her. What is worth mentioning is that I also fingered/fisted her during the entire duration. I understand that fisting is low risk, if there aren't cuts/wounds on the hand. I washed my hands afterwards, and did not notice any cuts/wounds there, although I may have missed it as I was still very nervous.
I spoke to her after, asked her about her status, and she was angry, saying that she was clean. However, she did mention that she had ****** over 3 guys this year. As such, my question is if I put myself at risk with the following activities, assuming she were HIV Positive and with a high viral load:
1. Fingering & Fisting her - there weren't any wounds, or big open wounds. Might have had a paper cut, but no (unlikely) any sore. Is there a risk if there was a sore present?
2. Having gotten her vaginal fluids over my penis. Head was definitely covered by the condom. The bottom half is the one that had fluid over it.
3. Having penetrated her slightly, but with a condom.
4. Getting a blowjob (with a condom, I hope) and having my testicles licked.
5. Having rubbed my unprotected penis against her vagina. Might/might not have gotten vaginal fluids on the penis.
She insists that we did not ****, because there was minimal penetration (if any), and that the only thing that happened was me fingering her. But I feel there is much more...
After having posted on Poz and having spoke to the local Aids hotline, it appears that the risk stems primarily from no.5. As such, I would appreciate it if you could all tell me what you think, whether there was real risk if I had gotten vaginal fluids on my foreskin/head. I am unable to remember this, but I think it might have been a possibility. If she were HIV, would this mean that I've gotten HIV since the urethra provides a direct access to the bloodline?
I understand that these might have been asked before and would likely come up as low risk, but would appreciate any clarification on this. Have been freaking out, not been able to sleep properly, and have turned to alcohol and cough syrup to sleep.
Hi , Hiv is sexually transmitted through unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse. You have done neither. Your problem here is anxiety.
p.s I have been there - my advice is move on
All the best
p.s I have been there - my advice is move on
All the best
Bestrong? Would love to hear your take, and possible explanations if its different?
Sorry if this comes off as amateurish. I'm just really concerned and would love it if you could lay out your definition of it. By me, I feel like it lies in a gray spectrum - you could argue that penetration did and did not occur. Am I, therefore, to assume that, by your comments so far, that there is absolutely no risk if the penis had touched the inner lips because this would have exposed to fluids to air and rendered them un-infectious? Angry as you may be, I am truly grateful for you taking the time to look through and answer
Does the penis touching the inner lip of the vagina count as penetration?
Okay, I am sorry... Might have misled people into making an easy "no-risk". I am not sure if there might have been slight penetration during the frottage, meaning if the penis might have touched the inner lip of the vagina during it.
Naturally, there would have been fluids all over the penis, which I have come to accept is harmless. What the local HIV/AIDS agency and my doctor is unsure of, is the risk involved with the head of the penis potentially touching the inner-lip of the vagina during the frottage. Please advise.
Naturally, there would have been fluids all over the penis, which I have come to accept is harmless. What the local HIV/AIDS agency and my doctor is unsure of, is the risk involved with the head of the penis potentially touching the inner-lip of the vagina during the frottage. Please advise.
My answer is not going to change unless you tell me you had unprotected vaginal sex.
Even if the penis was in direct contact with the vagina, without penetration? I mean.. The fluids could have simply gone straight to the urethra and gone up into the bloodstream, no? Ive read that it requires an airless environmemt (aka body and penetration) to spread, but if the fluids enter the urethra directly during frottage... Notnarguig. Just very panicky
Hi! Thanks for the quick reply. What if the head and foreksin were covered with vaginal fluids? Does that not serve as a direct conduit to the bloodstream? I'm not trying to be argumentative, its just that I am simply freakig out over it. On the POZ forum, they said that there was no risk at all, but I cannot help but agree with the logicality that if the head/foreksin had vaginal fluids on it, then there would be a direct path to the bloodstream! Please explain!
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