Thank you for the answers everyone.
I was in bad state yesterday and the day before. I feel better, I know that I will most likely have to get tested again at 28days for my own peace of mind. Right now thinking of all those people who do perform that sexual act and do not worry, obviously quite rightly so, makes me very sad that I cannot do the same thing but also scared that if I did I would be very irresponsible. Whether right or wrong.
And just to clarify in this situation I am only testing for HIV, not for any clinical reason, just for peace of mind? I could, if I had a stronger mental fortitude, accept what i did and walk away, knowing I was not at any real risk.
Again, I do appreciate all your time, especially considering how many times you must have read and heard this same situation!
Do you understand the concept of a theoretical risk? There are unlimited theoretical risks that we all take every day but yet we're still here and still breathing. Theoretically, a meteor could come crashing through your house and kill you, but you don't live in fear of that every day, do you? Theoretically, you could slip and fall, slamming your head in the shower and die, but that doesn't stop you from showering. Theoretically, you could get in a car accident at any time anywhere but that doesn't stop you from driving? There are unlimited other theoretical risks that don't even enter your mind and you don't live in a plastic bubble (which theoretically could suffocate you), so why would you be so hyper focused on this one particular theoretical risk, which is no different than all of the other unlimited theoretical risks that exist in the human experience?
First of all, I am not convinced that you have HIV because of obvious reasons. :)
Secondly,,,, status of the escort was unknown, and there is a strong possibility that she is not infected (because escorts or others in this profession love their lives too) .So with this starting assumption, your risk drops down very significantly.
Performing oral sex on a woman,, Let us take it this way. Vaginal fluids are infectious, no doubt. But on the other hand, when some of the vaginal fluid comes into our mouth, it first meets with our saliva, before contacting any mucus membrane there. It is Nature's blessing that our saliva contains several enzymes, capable of inactivating the virus instantly.
So here your overall risk reaches to a negligible level, that means a risk of theoretical or academic nature, without a single case reported and documented.
Coming to your questions now
1. No it is not a risk, no matter how many "what ifs" you bring to the table
2. If you visit credible websites like CDC (normally take a conservative approach), they rank cunnilingus as a "negligible" or very low risk. And interpretation of such risk has already been mentioned
3. It is very good that you think that way and care for others also. As far as we are concerned, your risk is non-existent so there is no harm in continuing your normal matrimonial relationship. However only for your peace of mind, if you are willing to get tested before resumption of your relationship with your spouse, you may do so by repeating the duo test after another 2 weeks. This is not needed clinically though
4. Day 13 Negative Duo test gives you reassurance and we are sure, your 28 days test will not be different from what you got, because you were never exposed