Avatar universal

Tragedy in Indonesia

Hi doctors,

I would actually like to pay the $22,- fee to ask either Dr. HHH or EWH, but at the moment I was not in the States and finding an Internet connection is damn hard in this country (Indonesia).

I'm a 38 yo White heterosexual male, healthy and no STDs or HIV. About 2 weeks ago, to cut story short, I was entertained by my customer in Jakarta, Indonesia, and I was given a CSW to accompany me through the night.

I did the following with her :

- French Kissing

- Unprotected Oral Sex (briefly)

- Protected Vaginal sex with a Durex Condom (the one with Nonoxynol 9)

My worries are :

1) Could I get HIV from the Oral Sex?

2) When I tried penetrating her vagina the 1st time, I failed because my penis was too big for her vagina, or her vagina was too tight. She's 20 yo and I assume all CSW has HIV.

Then my penis went soft, still with the condom but after she licked my nipples, I got hard again, and this time I managed to penetrate her vagina. After a few thrust, I came inside her vagina, with the condom on. Removed the condom. Saw my semen was all there in the tip of the condom. My penis was covered all the way down with only 1 cm of the base of my penis NOT covered.

Went to the bathroom to get myself cleaned. Freaked out when I saw 0.5 cm blood spot there. I asked her that was the remaining menstrual blood. Saw a few dots of these on the centre of the condom. Took a tissue paper and wiped it to see if it's on the INSIDE or OUTSIDE of the condom. It was on the OUTSIDE because I could wipe if off. Tied the condom into a knot, then threw it inside the rubbish bin.

1 hour later after the CSW left, I went back to the rubbish bin out of paranoia and took the condom again. And freaked out when I saw some liquid at the tip of the condom. I wiped it off with a tissue, and then pressed the tip of the condom with force til it bloated, but the semen inside didn't leak even a drop. Then I saw the rubbish bin base there was some water and I thought it must be from there or the vaginal secretion. Point is, I was paranoid thinking the tip of the condom leaked during that 1 hour. But when I pressed with force until the tip bloated like a small balloon, it didn't have any leaks.

1) Now, I am so worried about this. Could the tip of the condom leaks a few millimeters and accumulated at the tip during the 1 hour? Or I was too paranoia?

2) Could the blood travel from 1 cm gap of the base of my penis which was uncovered with condom to the middle, up all the way to the urethral opening of my penis?

3) Should I test for HIV from these?

I'm worried sick and have told my wife the truth and we were over it. But still the guilt and scare of getting HIV is getting the better of me. I'm still in Indonesia and couldn't find any medical doctors who can help me as they obviously speak miniscule English.

Worried Frisco Guy

8 Responses
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Avatar universal
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Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I was caught up with work and the Speedy Internet service was so horrible as I was stuck in the woods outside town and therefore couldn't manage to review your answer. Thanks for your answer, but I did some search on your Profile and you mentioned you yourself tested for HIV for re-assurance... Do you then think I'm infected?

I'm still overly thinking of my exposure. I call it exposure as I'm very paranoid thinking about the "drippings" at the tip of the condom, despite the fact that I forced a bloat on the tip and no semen was seen leaking from it.

Do you think I'm at risk?? Considering you yourself tested when you can leisurely tell others not to worry about such incident.

I'm freaking out. I lost 3 kgs so far since the incident. Anything I eat doesn't feel good. I feel like dying. I tried going to counseling but obviously they don't speak English.

Waiting for answers from experts like you guys...
Helpful - 0
5870831 tn?1376197049
First of all understand your situation

You Had protected sex witha csw-no risk

oral sex- no risk

and finally your paranoid thinking

If a condom breaks it can be well realized.

You have had protected sex and you are at no risk for hiv

Stop thinking irrationaly and leave this issue behind

You are clear with hiv.your risk was zero.

Good luck and all the best!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi tinitina,

Thanks for your answer, but I don't think you get the point of what I'm asking in the forum.

I'm not concerned about "wet vaginal liquid" or "semen" ONCE it's outside the body of the CSW. What concerns me the most is that after pulling out the condom, I still saw that the condom was properly intact, covering my penis to base. And then I threw it inside the rubbish bin.

1 HOUR LATER... however, out of paranoia and curiosity, I re-take the condom FROM the rubbish bin, and then saw that the tip has been WET with some liquid, DON'T KNOW LIQUID FROM WHERE, whether it's "wet vaginal liquid" or "semen" FROM the condom itself or the water that's already been present INSIDE THE RUBBISH BIN without me knowing it at first glance.

Then, I wiped that liquid dry, and then tested the USED CONDOM by bloating the tip WITH SOME OF MY SEMEN INSIDE STILL til it bloated, but no drop of leakage that I saw of.

So, my original question, do you think that tip of the condom leaks, say a few millimeters or microscopic hole, THEREFORE leaking the semen and ACCUMULATES at the tip that when I took it out of the rubbish bin, the tip is WET.

IS THIS ME PARANOID or can ONE OF THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A BROKEN CONDOM IS LIKE THAT???? **Point is, I'm afraid the condom was leaking, but when I tested it, there was no leakage and the tip was dry when I touch it with my fingers.**

PLEASE, I'm still waiting for the 90 days mark to test as I'm still in Indonesia on a Working VISA. I can't use my Credit Card to ask Dr. HHH or EWH because the bills are on my Company's. I don't have a personal one myself since I'm mostly overseas.

Therefore I'd like a really EXPERT ANSWER from anyone here that works on the community, and work with Dr. HHH or EWH, to give me a PROFESSIONAL ADVICE on my situation.

I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT, and if there's any way I can contribute a donation to this Forum, I'd be glad to do that and have my wife send via USPS to your foundation.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Like Diver said, you do not have concern. You did not had a risk at all. HIV is not that easy to catch. Even that you slept with her without condom that does not mean that you wolud have HIV for sure, even if she have it. So, once exposed to air, HIV is not dangerouse any more.
Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Diver,

What do you think of the "wet tip" from the liquid when I took out the used condom out the rubbish bin...? Is that the leakage of the condom?

I'm so worried....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi diver58...

I don't know what to say but your reply right in the morning inside a hotel room in Jakarta, feeling "trapped" and confused and scared really saved me from going insane. I believe your advice and it gave me tremendous comfort being I'm far from anyone or any health care provider here. (my first time in Jakarta).

Once again, THANK YOU and I really, really appreciate it very much!!

Kenny D.
Helpful - 0
366749 tn?1544695265
First of all, correct your assumption... Not all SCW's have HIV. In fact, CSW's are smarter than us because they are exposed to the potential risk almost every day. Like us, they also love their lives and are always more careful

In your case, you were not exposed to the risk because you had protectedvaginal sex. Unprotected oral is a zero risk.

To answer your questions,

1. Condoms are either 100% intact or they fail catastrophically, ruptuturing apart.(and you would know it) Nothing in between, pin holes or cracks are out of question

2.Blood or any other infectious body fluid is harmless once it leaves the body of the person it belongs to. HIV becomes inactivated immediately after it leaves its host and therefore unable to infect.

3. No you do not need to get yourself tested because your risk did not exist
Helpful - 0
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