Avatar universal

Unprotected oral, please advice!!!

Hello, dear all.
First of all, I must say that I'm way to anxious, as a person. It's been like that my whole life, when I look back.
Hypochondriac, too.

I'm male. 2 months ago, I performed oral sex to a guy. At the moment, I had problems with tooth crowns (bad smell, to be exact). I didn't notice any bleeding or something, but I know that I have some kind of gingivitis, yet my gums are not usually bleeding (only when a dental work is performed).

4 weeks after the incident, I slept with an open window, and the next day sore throat. Being anxious, I started to think it's all about ARS. So, I started feeling warm, even I didn't have temperature (98.6 highest, one afternoon). I kept looking for symptoms, and maybe that's why I experienced warm in my body. 1 week later, I started re-noticing a ''ball'' in my neck. Since kid, I've had those 2 bumps present in my neck, the second one getting bigger when having even a slight sore throat.

I stopped eating, lost my appetite because I was terrified of my problem, thinking I'm HIV positive.

I forgot to mention - I don't think he ejaculated in my mouth, but there for sure was pre-***.

For the 3 months conclusive testing, I need to wait 3 more weeks.
I'm living in hell.

I'm constantly thinking about this event and I can't believe what happened... I'm losing myself. I'm so, so, so worried... I don't even know what to believe: everywhere on the internet, they say the risk from oral sex is low, but it still IS present.

The problem is, even if I go testing tomorrow, I would not believe the results, and than again - I would need to wait 3 more weeks.

How many days after the 3 months period I should wait to get tested? I mean, can I go on 3 months+3/4 days? Or should I wait a bit more, like, few weeks more?

I'm constantly reading the posts here and, I must say, this forum has been my only ray of light in the past sleepless weeks...

Thank you all so much !

Please, understand my feelings...
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Avatar universal
If you've been reading here as you say, then you know that it's the position of the experts that have consulted here that oral sex does not pose a risk for HIV infection. The biggest reason why being that saliva contains proteins and enzymes that render the virus inactive and therefore unable to infect.

Since you had no risk, there was no reason for testing. However your multiple negative tests are further proof that you are not infected with HIV. All HIV tests are conclusive by 12 weeks post exposure.

Symptoms are not used to diagnose HIV. Only risk factor (yours was none-zero) and test results (you have multiple negative results) are used by HIV specialists.  Therefore at this point, there is nothing more that this forum can offer. You have a severe health anxiety issue for which you should make an appointment with a counselor instead of looking for assurances on a message board for a disease you were never at risk for in the first place.
Helpful - 0
Excuse me, but I never mentioned that I GOT tested. I'm still in the ''winow-period'' and my question was/is:

I have 3 more weeks until that 3 months period. Should I wait few weeks more past the 3 months date, or I can do ti on the 13th week?

My body is shaking right now, I'm so scared, I can't wait 3 more weeks...
I just got done telling you that you had zero risk. The fact that you're "shaking" right now despite my very thorough response just goes to show that you are in urgent need of a therapist to help you deal with this severely displaced health anxiety. I strongly urge you to start googling for counselors near you and make the first available appointment. And quit focusing on the wrong problem.
You don't need to wait 3 more weeks.  Any test you take at any time will be conclusive - and negative - since you didn't have a risk for HIV.   The risk for HIV from oral sex is largely theoretical, and no HIV expert recommends testing following an oral event.

You should consider seeing a counselor.  It is not normal to have this level of panic and fear from an event like this.
:) I know! I know it's not normal to have this level of panic and fear, but, you all must UNDERSTAND that it's not something I WANT to feel, okay? It's just an unexplainable fear, since 90% of the google results are telling me that the risk is STILL here. Regarding the symptoms I experienced 4 weeks after the exposure - that's why I feel like this.

You know, it's confusing. It's just... I do believe you, okay. But, you are not doctors or something, aren't you?

Let's remove the feeling that I want to argue with you all, please don't think like that.

I'm just worried.

My last question is (explained): I AM in the window period. And I still have 3 more weeks to come to the point of 3 MONTHS POST THE exposure. My question was: 3 weeks means I can go the very next day after that day, or I need to wait few more weeks and go test , let's say, on 3 months and 2 weeks?
You don't have any medical training so it is unrealistic for you to think you know more than the experts who have studied HIV for 40 years and determined you had zero risk. Your problem is not disease, it is anxiety which as everyone here told you is a mental health problem. this is an HIV forum and no one on a forum can provide therapy which is what you need.
@AnxiousNoMore -  as someone who has this type of username, I do understand that you've KILLED the anxiety. And BRAVO, that's wonderful!

But, knowing that, you should understand and NOT forget about how anxiety feels, right? It's very hard to deal with. It's not that I'm not trying.

Yes, I do believe in the studies and the experts on this forum. Otherwise, I won't be here.
It's just... Regaring the symptoms (sore throat, neck and leg pain and feeling of warmness in my body with a temperature of 98,68 F) my mind is telling me that, since my risk was POSSIBLE, I'm in the group of 1%, you know?

So, do you think that I must, somehow, forget about this, and move on? Or, still, I need to go get tested in 3 weeks? (Nobody answered me about the window-period I asked before.)

Guys, I'm literally crying right now. You don't know how hard this for me is... Even if I explain - you would never understand. But, re-reading your posts, it feels much easier for me. Not that I'm defocused, but still.

I read somewhere here that, if those symptoms appear, I should and MUST go test. Do you think anxiety caused all those symptoms? Hence, they apperaed 4 weeks after the exposure :(((( That's what scares me the most...
Avatar universal
Your anxiety is a mental health issue.
This is illogical so see a therapist. "Yes, I do believe in the studies and the experts on this forum. Otherwise, I won't be here. "
Helpful - 0
The sites mentioning that the virus CAN be spread through small, tiny cuts in the mouth - THAT'S what's making me anxious and worried. I mean, I could have few microscopic tiny wouns in my mouth... And my gingivitis? Not increasing the possibility?
"Guys, I'm literally crying right now." See a therapist to put yourself out of this misery, because you aren't going to solve anything going to chat forums.
Avatar universal
What if my gums were bleeding ?
Helpful - 0
Which of the only 3 risks for HIV do you feel your encounter was? Otherwise you are just making up your own science fiction so it won't be possible to have a logical conversation about that because it is unrealistic to think it can become true.
you do not need to add more "what ifs" to this old thread. you've been advised many times from more than one member that you were never at risk.
Avatar universal
To everyone who has posted/replied here, I just want to share something with you.

Today, after (almost)  4 months after my exposure,  I tested ''non-reactive'' / NEGATIVE !!!

Thank YOU ALL who participated in this HELL of mine. Yes, it really was one big, hot HELL.

I just want to add something, please don't get mad (again ;-) ) :

We, anxious people, people with OCD , hypochondriacs,  or simply WORRIED persons: we DO NOT want to feel that HELL in our lives. So, please, in the future, tend to be a little bit softer, if possible. We are not coming here for you telling us that we are not normal. We are just scared of our health! And, yes, since you really are giving us the true answers, there will be always a little bit of scare inside our minds. Accept it. It's not easy being anxious, having OCD... It's just not something we learned in school wanting to become like this, we never paid for this kind of problems. And yes, we all know there are people / consultants etc to listen to our stories.problems, but we are coming here just for a little bit of relief. Try to understand us. You can't just say: ''MOVE ON!!!'' (as I've been reading a lot through the posts regarding oral sex and hiv). Testing is the only way to calm down for ''us''. We can NOT just sleep over our problem. We need the truth on PAPER. And, while we are waiting the 3 months period to go and get tested, we need reassurance.

The internet is full with informations. Related to my problem regarding ''oral sex and hiv'', after months spent on the internet, I came to the next conclusion: it IS risky but the risk is low. You can't just say it's NOT, because it COULD happen. Those are 2 different things. Even 1 in 10.000 still MEANS a risk. Theoretically or not - there IS still a risk. You can't know who has good, perfect or BAD oral health. And, since there is not one single DEFINITIVE statement regarding oral sex and hiv risk...

I've learned much of this situation of mine.

And, for all the worried wells: SYMPTOMS MEAN NOTHING !!! I've had every single symptom you an imagine. EVERY SINGLE ONE! In the PERFECT time! And please, PLEASE !!! stop googling and searching for symptoms. Stop examining your lymph nodes etc etc. Just be brave and go get tested. The test overrules EVERYTHING!

I just want to share LOVE with everyone, I love you all !!!

Stay as you are - THE BEST !
Helpful - 0
After months on the internet, you still came to the wrong conclusion. It was zero risk, and you suffered in terror for months and wasted your time testing, so there was no lesson learned. Hopefully you see a therapist if there is a next time so you might be able to save yourself months of agony - that would be a good lesson to learn.
God bless you.
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