You asked a question then answered it in the first line. I advised you of the 3 risks before so reread them although it seems you are stating that you already know them.
You need to see a mental health therapist to help you deal with your "sick mind" because a chat forum can't do that.
You know it's not a risk - you said so yourself, and AnxiousNoMore told you last year that it was not a risk, and what activities ARE risks for HIV.
You need to see a therapist. This is an HIV prevention forum, and you already know the risks. It is not an anxiety support forum.