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Stupid and scared after unprotected sex
I am new to the dating scene; I am early 40's, female and recently divorced and joined one of those dating sites at the urging of my son (just wants Mom to be happy!).
Anyway, I met a man on there who is slightly older than me, and we had a few dates and we've been intimate 3 times in the last month. The first time we were smart and used protection for intercourse, and I also performed oral on him (no ejaculation though). Then all of a sudden, there was radio silence from his end, until this past Sunday when out of the blue, he hit me up again.
Of course, we were intimate again this past Wednesday, this time though without protection (again, no ejaculation), but as an older woman, I know better, plain and simple. He told me I had nothing to worry about, that he was "clean" and hadn't been with anyone since late last year. And now AGAIN, radio silence!!!
Anyway, I am freaking out - one because I feel used (who wouldn't???), two: I barely know this guy, and three: if he's "ghosting" me (I think that's what it's called), he isn't completely trustworthy. So now, here I am, freaking out that I have caught HIV from him and I really don't know what to do. My anxiety levels are through the roof, I have been having all sorts of GI issues from the worry, and I just cannot believe I was so stupid. I would throttle my son if he made a bonehead mistake like this!!!!!
It is too late to start PeP, and I know it's too soon to test, so I feel like I am screwed - like I made the mistake that is going to ruin my life and no man will want me.
Can anyone provide me any guidance regarding when to test, AND reassurance that it's possible my anxiety is getting the best of me?
Thank you
Anyway, I met a man on there who is slightly older than me, and we had a few dates and we've been intimate 3 times in the last month. The first time we were smart and used protection for intercourse, and I also performed oral on him (no ejaculation though). Then all of a sudden, there was radio silence from his end, until this past Sunday when out of the blue, he hit me up again.
Of course, we were intimate again this past Wednesday, this time though without protection (again, no ejaculation), but as an older woman, I know better, plain and simple. He told me I had nothing to worry about, that he was "clean" and hadn't been with anyone since late last year. And now AGAIN, radio silence!!!
Anyway, I am freaking out - one because I feel used (who wouldn't???), two: I barely know this guy, and three: if he's "ghosting" me (I think that's what it's called), he isn't completely trustworthy. So now, here I am, freaking out that I have caught HIV from him and I really don't know what to do. My anxiety levels are through the roof, I have been having all sorts of GI issues from the worry, and I just cannot believe I was so stupid. I would throttle my son if he made a bonehead mistake like this!!!!!
It is too late to start PeP, and I know it's too soon to test, so I feel like I am screwed - like I made the mistake that is going to ruin my life and no man will want me.
Can anyone provide me any guidance regarding when to test, AND reassurance that it's possible my anxiety is getting the best of me?
Thank you
COMMUNITY LEADER
Unprotected oral sex is not a risk.
Unprotected vaginal sex would warrant an HIV test. Risk is low given 2 key factors;
1. Not every one around you is HIV positive.
2. For a one time, heterosexual exposure with out ejaculation, the odds of transmission is low.
Personally, I feel you are worrying unnecessarily, there is no reason to split hairs. Just get yourself tested at 28 days from the date of your unprotected vaginal intercourse with a IV Generation HIV test and move on from this event.
Unprotected vaginal sex would warrant an HIV test. Risk is low given 2 key factors;
1. Not every one around you is HIV positive.
2. For a one time, heterosexual exposure with out ejaculation, the odds of transmission is low.
Personally, I feel you are worrying unnecessarily, there is no reason to split hairs. Just get yourself tested at 28 days from the date of your unprotected vaginal intercourse with a IV Generation HIV test and move on from this event.
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