i have a question about a heart murmur

[mandy876]

i have had a heart murmur for years.  when i had my mascetomy 28 years agomy doctor said themurmur was a little worse.  but no one seemed to think anything about it.  i notice in my doctors report he said i have atrial fibrillation. is this the same thing?

[mandy876]

thank you i can always need a good friend.  i just wish i knew what was going on.  i will let you know i am calling my doctor monday.  mandy876

[MichelleP_3811]

I am always on if you ever want to drop me a pm or just start chatting here.  There are a lot of nice people who come to this section.  (((HUGS)))

[mandy876]

  i usually dont feel very good.  not ,uch energy and my back and legs hurt a lot.  they lowered my pain meds so they dont work any more.  i am kind of quiet.  i dont seem to fit in good with strangers.  i have always ben that way.  the kids were coming to see us this weekend but they decided to go to the coast instead.  we even had the 7 years old tv pit back on cable. i made some froends on here but when they say there is nothing to do for me.  they move on.  thats is my life either they die or move away.  thank you for being so nice to me.  i am tired of being hurt. mandy876

[MichelleP_3811]

I understand how you feel.  My grandmother felt the same way after everyone in her core group had passed on.  We tried to encourage her to join a group to have some social interaction but she resisted.  We eventually did hire a lady to come help her during the day and it really did lift her mood having someone to connect with.  So do consider what Bromley said and find some groups with people who have similar interests.  You might make some friends who make life worth living for you.  Maybe even consider volunteering somewhere.  It would get you out and help you to feel connected with others.  

Loneliness can definitely bring us down but there are steps you can take to help yourself find companionship.  Maybe even consider just finding online groups where you can chat with people who have similar interests to you.  I have online friends from all over the world.  I will never meet them in person but it is nice to connect with others of similar interests even if it is just online.  Obviously be cautious to give out too much personal information online but I have personally found some friends that way it might be worth checking into.  I wish you the best and brighter happier days.  

[mandy876]

thank you if my niece dies i have no reasoniwill be completely alone.  i had rather die with her than stay here by my self.

[Bromley]

No problem.  Now just from the outside looking in from a great đistance, it sounds like you have a two part job to take care of.
1. You need to improve your support network. If you need help, one quick way to get started is to find a support group. You can also join a book club or someother group where you can get out and have some fun.
2. You need to get this afib documented, and then go see a cardiologist or maybe even an electrophysiologist.

Ok so I am not a doctor and don't really know much about your situation. Just tryingto ssummarize what I am hearing. I was troubled at one point and know how disabling depression can be. Do not be depressed. There are things that you can and must do. Good luck.

[mandy876]

i have always put everyone ahead of me.  i took care of my dad when he was dying well i helped my mom.  i had cancer.  but i was worried that mom would not get her groceries. my husband promised he would take caref my mom.  it made her cry that i just found out i had cancer and was worried about her.  i dont know why i am that way my mom was kind of tthat way.  i guess i took aftr her i look just like her as i get older.  i have noone left my niece is all i have left if i lose her i will be all alone.  my mom dad my hubbymy best friends,  all died.  i have a sis but she disowned me because i wouldnot put momin a nursing homei took care of her myself with the help of hospice. i will  check further on me i go in for a full cheeck up in july and all blood tests and urine tests.  i will go from there.  thanks for caring.mandy876

[Bromley]

Ok, well I respect someone who can do what is right even if it is difficult. It sounds like you have a kind heart and contributed something important towards the care of your mom. Surely,  you have God's blessing for this.

For the benefit of solving your health problems though, let's not forget that  positive thinking,  and a good support network are nearly as important as good doctors. These things lead and enable us to take effective action when action is needed. With a positive frame of mind, you can overcome a lot of adversity. The main point being that your actions play an important role in your health care:  Be positive,  (and if you are struggling, get help).

[mandy876]

  i am 73 be 74 next month i guess he feels like i am old and it does not matter i am going to die anyway,  i dont know.  my niece has problems i dont have time to worry about me.  mandy876

[MichelleP_3811]

You should be checked out by a cardiologist and I would find a new doctor since it sounds like he isn't very good at following up.  The murmur may be nothing to worry about but you should have your heart looked at to find out if it is structurally fine as well as be tested to see if you would need blood thinners for you afib.  Please do seek a second opinion or get pushy with the one you have now.  They may be overworked but you have a right to know what is going on with your health and what risk factors you are under.  Best of luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.

[mandy876]

  i only have 2 nieces as my family.  my sis disowned me when i refused to stick my mom in a nursing home.  i said no,  she is coming home  with me. i had the help of hispice they were great.  the girl that bathed mom made us her last patient and  after she got through with moms vbath and sheet change. she would sit down and say go do  what you need to do.  i ran to th grocery store and the drug sttoe to gett mymds and i bought her a little gift,  she was so sweet,  mandy876

[Bromley]

A heart murmur may or may not be significant.however, I would think that you would be appraised of your conditions otherwise. How did you go about selecting this doctor? Do you have access to other medical people in your area,  or the ability to travel out of town? Perhaps you would generate a list of other options.  

You can also inquire as to why the information isn't getting to you, then decide whether to give this individual a free pass.   Has someone been given a right say via power of attorney to oversee type medical care? I would not maintain a relationship, power of attorney or with a doctor where my best interests were not a priority.

The thing is,  you have to be able to trust your doctor. You also need support from friends and family. You must not be shy or afraid of making improvements to your medical care or support network.

Sorry to hear that you feel let down by your doctor and that you have some medical issues. You are in good company.  

[mandy876]

I have began to wonder about my doctor.  he said nothing about my heart murmur which I was diagnosed with years ago.  he has never mentioned it and I have been seeing him for several years.  I read on my chart when I got home that I had atrial fib. this is the second time I have seen a condition on my chart he had not told me about.  before he said I had renal failure stage 3.  I did not know that and he never mentioned it until I read it on my chart.  I begin to wonder is he making these things up or why does he not send me to a heart doctor or kidney doctor. I don't know what to do,  mandy876

[Bromley]

The main difference is that a murmur is a symptom,  whereas atrial fib is a condition. Murmur s are sounds usually created by heart valves. A fib is a type of abnormal heart rhythm.

Im surprised your doc didn't give you a full explanation a fib, but I must admit the subject area is complex. It's a lot to digest on the first pass.  Maybe it would be worth a visit to hear the explanation again,  or for the first time....