Re typing - PLEASE GUIDE ME

[pls_help_me]

Dear all members,

I want to share my tough times and agony i am facing with you. Kindly guide me what i should do and how to go ahead in my life and live peacefully.
I am a male of 26 years from orthodox family( From India) well settled married to a girl of 22 years.Within 4 months of our marriage, when she complained of fever i took her to doctor and during routine tests it was found that she is a carrier of hepatitis B virus. Doctor told me to go for HBSAG test . I got negative and vaccinated. After taking 3 doses  i also got tested for ANTI-HBS which was found out as positive. After this episode both the families fought because of her  virus status and  i always thought that the wife's family cheated me especially my wife and then onwards i always have suspicion on her. We separated for almost one year and later because of family friends and relatives we are together. But never live with peace. Here i am giving her  hepatitis  panel done during 2007 March

HBSAG - Positive
HBEAG-Negative
ANTI-HBEAG-Positive
ANTI-HCV-Non Reactive
HBV-DNA Quantitative -Not Detectable
Liver Profile -Normal
Liver Scanning-Normal
I have repeated her following blood tests again during 2008 September and 2009 April. The results are as follows

HBSAG -Positive
HBEAG-Negative
ANTI-HBEAG-Positive
Liver Profile -Normal
Liver Scanning-Normal

Doctor told that she is a healthy carrier and does not need any treatment. We also visited gynecologist about future generation, She  told that there is a possibility that she can pass this virus to child even with available vaccinations.
Many times i feel why god gave me this much agony. Why this has happened to me.
During early hours just before get up from bed , this pain is so much that i can't bear it. This is one side. Other side is my in-laws are not supportive and always quarrelsome adding more heartburn to me. I had many sleepless nights. My parents also very much upset.
My wife many times cries because of her virus and we never live with harmony.

KINDLY GUIDE ME WHAT I SHOULD DO.
YOUR SUGGESTIONS ARE SO IMPORTANT SUCH THAT YOU ARE HELPING REALLY A NEEDY PERSON. Also please tell me Why doctor told that there is a possibility that she can pass this virus to child even with available vaccinations?

All of you please give your suggestions/ extend a helping hand to me.
Thank you

[EmilyBaker]

I am sorry to hear your situation. I was diagnosed a year ago while in a relationship. Your decision to be there for her during this tough time is depend on your commitment to her and your relationship. I understand Asian culture. I am an Asian myself. Family are very close together. But remember the fact that you are married and head of the household, you make the decision how your family should run. Just ask yourself if you love her enough to be there for her during this time. I experienced it myself. I know she needs you the most. But this decision is yours to make. For example, my ex boyfriend left me when he knew of the disease. Other date or boyfriend accept my destiny with a few days or few month knowing me. It's all about choices and how much you really care about your partner.

I do not know the kind of medical service offered in your country. In US, after birth, baby will get vaccinated and once complete have 97% chance of being protected. It's not the end of the world. Also remember, you can manage this disease. It's not a death sentence.

Regarding the cause of the disease, it's very hard to tell. In Asia, it is all about cost saving and survival. Needles and medical instrument might be reused to save cost. Doctor are not up to code. Don't assume she cheated on you. I hope you make the right choice for you. It is initial shock so please take some time to sink in new information.

[biobrain]

Please support your wife and LOVE HER as much as you can. You should also say her sorry for your rude behviour in the past.

I was diagnosed in july 2009, but do not know when and why i got it? anyhow my wife is very loving and supporting me.

You should in any case support your wife, she need you, do not be selfish it is a request.

[bram44]

You are immune for life. Since the DNA for your wife is undetectable, there is very little risk in passing it on to the baby. If you are living in US, baby will be vaccinated immediately.

Good luck to you and just support your wife. She needs more support from you than anyone else.

[pls_help_me]

Thank you for the support.

I have a query on Anti-HBS. I have taken 3 vaccination doses at 0,1,2 intervals and tested for Anti-HBS one month after 3rd dose. My Anti-HBS value is 70  IU/L. I have taken booster dose one year  after 3rd dose. Am i required to be tested again? can my Anti-HBS give life long protection? or i need to check at at least once in year?
Please reply.

[bram44]

Sorry to hear your situation.

What if this was a reverse case ? Would you think the same way ?

As Brit said, one could get this anywhere without knowing. A barber shop, dentist, regular injections (20 years back in India, how many places were using disposable needles for injections ?) - even religious places (sorry I am religious myself) where people get tonsured etc...

My guess is she does not even know how she got this virus - like most of the chronics who find it later.

You are making as if getting this virus is a sin - it really is not that bad.  Go to a different doctor - they will give you a different asnwer. The possibility of your children getting infected is close to 0%, if proper precautoins are taken (taking medication and controlling the virus, giving vaccine immediately after birth etc...).

90% of the people clear this virus on their own - unfortunately your wife is in the 10% who can't. That does not mean you guys can;t have normal lives. You are lucky to find this now, so you can manage it well.

Get over this and start enjoying life... This virus should not control your life - neither your wife's.

[britgirl477]

well your wife is healthy by the looks of the results you have posted. I am guessing here from the undertones of your post that you are thinking that your wife has gotten this illness from some sort of 'suspicious' behaviour??? Not at all. Many folks get this virus and have no clue how. I myself was diagnosed with it more than a year ago and have no clue how or really from where. All i know is that it was NOT through drug usage or sex. Only possibility was dentist or a hospital procedure. In your wife's case it may have been from birth and she didn't even know this herself. So inform your family of this and look at it this way:

1. You love your wife.
2. This is an illness that CAN be managed and looked after.
3. Do not allow others to dictate your marriage just because of ignorance and fear.

My doctor was quite clear that it was near impossible to pass on to kids if the virus is monitored well during preganancy and kids are given the vaccination within few hours of birth.

Are you seeing a liver specialist or is the info you are getting from a general doctor? This believe me makes a huge difference! My own general doctor admitted that he knew very little about this illness.

So support your wife in this. Your marriage vows did they not suggest in 'sickness and in health'?? My suggestion is to fully suppport this young fragile woman. She must be heart sick at her diagnosis and the fact that everyone around her seems to be pointing the finger and blaming her for a virus she knew nothing about. You have taken the vaccination so cannot get the virus from her.

What is it that has really caused you so much anguish? Be honest with yourself? Then make decisions based on that.
Brit