Aa
is there anything for this rage? I am in a bad way...
Hi there I am a 55 male, I am in 2nd month of a 4 month treatment with riba and salvoldi,I hate myself! I know no one else can like me, I am staying in as much as possible unless necessary, I DO NOT GO OUT, BETTER FOR ME AND SOCIETY! I do not work at this time which is good because I would have been fired by now anyway. I could eat barbed wire! 4 1mg xanax a day barely and sometimes does not keep me in check. I have lost interest in everything. I cry a lot,have insomnia. i suffer from anxiety anyway... i lost a 19 year friendship, but I honestly do not blame this on that. It was time, maybe this just gave it a push, but needed to end anyway. It seems as though people are about 50 times more stupid than they were 2 months ago. I mean I am not a mean person but have little tolerance for stupidity when I am not on these wicked *** drugs. I know this I tried the interferon and riba about 3 years back got to 6 months had so many sore in my mouth i could not eat and barley swallow. So at 6 months they stopped my treatment. i am not stopping this one if I have to be institutionalized... Hell no! I did not go through all this for naught! NO WAY! If it does not work then hep C can kill me, i have danced with this riba demon for the last freaking time! I welcome death rather than to have to feel like this ever again! I am not sure they would even want me in HELL! I was given no warning about these side effects either! My hair's falling out bit by bit, does this stop and does it grow back, my hair is shoulder length and was very healthy. Not now! I have become a recluse and do not answer the phone unless it is my partner of 16 years. He is heaven sent to put up with me, I focus on not taking it out on him... He caught it from me somehow? we do not do drugs hard drugs no , pot yes. It does help with the nausea. I really feel like I am in a surreal state of mind and I never know what I am going to do or say next and I am high strung as is! This makes it worse! Sometimes things do not even look real to me anymore. I HATE THIS ****! ARRRGGGGHHH! I want to just slap myself at times. I am supposed to do this 2 more months... is there anything I can ask my doctor, he told me nothing about the side effects as is so i am not really confident about his knowledge on this subject, he did not even know it made ones hair come out he told me NO! it did not. Well NEWS FLASH genius! it DOES! Any suggestion any help is truly , truly appreciated! Help....
lIzz, thank you! What a wonderful thing to say! We never know how our words will touch someone, or how we will be touched by someone. I don't have the gift of memory or research, as so many here do, but I can almost always see a brighter side, and, truly, in the midst of all, we need to be reminded that there are positives, that everything is better when we are surrounded by those who have made this journey and can reach out to us, and when we love ourselves, just as we are. Took me a long time to learn those things and just want to share them! Again, thanks!
Big hugs, love and Blessings,
Pat
Big hugs, love and Blessings,
Pat
Thank you for your soapbox theory. I believe we are mirrors. I love you and I love me, it's myself and I that i can't stand. You are so kind. I am proud of you and your nurturance. I am the better for your astute prognostication. Can't deny my chemical lobotomy. Being in the presence of miracles is taxing but it is nice to be cured. Thank you for being Patra. I am sorry I didn't read this sooner but know you moved my heart line up. Lizz
Hi, both: First Liz, I am so sorry for what you went through and how you are still suffering the residuals of treatment.
Next, Both of you, What Liz went through and is going through, is (are?) the residuals of the Interferon! NOT from the Riba!
YES, Riba Rage is awful, BUT, it is only while you are on the medication!
I have been through the Interferon treatment , and 20 years later, had Riba with the Sovaldi, so I know whereof I speak.
Liz, more and more posters are speaking of Drs and or clinics (like Mayo) who recognize and treat the post interferon syndrome.
If you will go to the Hepatitis Post Treatment site, you will see much about the Syndrome, residuals, etc, Liz.
But Hud, as soon as you complete your meds, the problem will start getting better. All of the rage will not vanish in thin air over night, but will quickly disipate. I had the emotionality for several months after, but only the easy to laugh, easy to cry, etc part and I was on 1200 mg of Riba per day for 6 months.
Both of you, hang in there. Hud, yours will take care of itself (unless you had bad anxiey or depression before you started treatment, then you will go back to that level). Liz, your will need help, but the Post Treatment site will give you guidance in how to get treatment.
One thing, I STILL have the memory loss I got from the INF and that treatment was for 7 months in 1994/95. I gave up being bitter after a few years and started making a game out of methods to remind me of what I needed to remember (it took 4 months to convince the ladies in my church group that I was not joking about needing reminders, because I had a perfect memory preINF treatment, but when they finally saw that I was serious, one of the ladies took it as a project to call me the night before every meeting, etc. I showed up, and on time, that way). I wrote myself notes, used sticky notes on my computer, my collar, etc, you get the idea. My husband helped remind me of things, too). Now, it is just a part of life as I was able to let go of the angst, and resentment that my perfect memory was taken from me, something to work around and even, to joke about.
Please, when you start with the bad parts of these meds, tellyourself "stop that! This is not helping me" then read something that you find uplifting, or entertaining, or go for a walk or a bike ride, or go fishing --- you know what I mean - something you can do in solitude that will soothe your soul. And remember to love yourself - tell yourself, this is not me, or even a part of me and it WILL go away.
Don't mean to get on my soapbox, but I have always been bad about that -
: -) nor just when I was on meds. : -).
Good living, good healing, and God bless you.
Pat
Next, Both of you, What Liz went through and is going through, is (are?) the residuals of the Interferon! NOT from the Riba!
YES, Riba Rage is awful, BUT, it is only while you are on the medication!
I have been through the Interferon treatment , and 20 years later, had Riba with the Sovaldi, so I know whereof I speak.
Liz, more and more posters are speaking of Drs and or clinics (like Mayo) who recognize and treat the post interferon syndrome.
If you will go to the Hepatitis Post Treatment site, you will see much about the Syndrome, residuals, etc, Liz.
But Hud, as soon as you complete your meds, the problem will start getting better. All of the rage will not vanish in thin air over night, but will quickly disipate. I had the emotionality for several months after, but only the easy to laugh, easy to cry, etc part and I was on 1200 mg of Riba per day for 6 months.
Both of you, hang in there. Hud, yours will take care of itself (unless you had bad anxiey or depression before you started treatment, then you will go back to that level). Liz, your will need help, but the Post Treatment site will give you guidance in how to get treatment.
One thing, I STILL have the memory loss I got from the INF and that treatment was for 7 months in 1994/95. I gave up being bitter after a few years and started making a game out of methods to remind me of what I needed to remember (it took 4 months to convince the ladies in my church group that I was not joking about needing reminders, because I had a perfect memory preINF treatment, but when they finally saw that I was serious, one of the ladies took it as a project to call me the night before every meeting, etc. I showed up, and on time, that way). I wrote myself notes, used sticky notes on my computer, my collar, etc, you get the idea. My husband helped remind me of things, too). Now, it is just a part of life as I was able to let go of the angst, and resentment that my perfect memory was taken from me, something to work around and even, to joke about.
Please, when you start with the bad parts of these meds, tellyourself "stop that! This is not helping me" then read something that you find uplifting, or entertaining, or go for a walk or a bike ride, or go fishing --- you know what I mean - something you can do in solitude that will soothe your soul. And remember to love yourself - tell yourself, this is not me, or even a part of me and it WILL go away.
Don't mean to get on my soapbox, but I have always been bad about that -
: -) nor just when I was on meds. : -).
Good living, good healing, and God bless you.
Pat
Dear one,
I would slap myself hard over and over. I loved to watch horror films, the more violent, the better. My son took me to see "The Happening" - I laughed very loudly through the whole movie. Upon raising from sleepless nights, I would sililoque - "Get up you stupid *****, you worthless piece of sheet". I wanted to kill myself but also wanted to see if treatment would work. I lost most of my hair. My little 8 year old neice told me - I looked like a scarecow and smelled like a cat. My mother thought I was going to die. I became anorexic and became a stick figure. I never told my doctor my true situation or incredible self hatred and depression in fear he would terminate treatment. I tried to make friends on this site but scared everyone away. I am shocked I made it after going through two treatments adding up to almost 1 year and a half under Riba and interferons. I got cured with Incivek the last time. Is it worth it? I don't know. I wanted to be free of Hep C. Now I want to be free of my lost mind. I can't trust myself anymore with bills, cooking on the stove, finding my car, remembering to feed my cat or myself. I feel like a walking 'sucker' because I am so easily overwhelmed by everything. I have lost many memories and feel very sensitive to electricity. I feel like wearing an aluminum hat. that was a joke.
My children are glad I am cured. I really did the treatments for them in the long run but sacrificed half of my personality. I am sorry if I dissapointed you but that is my truth and when I read of yours, I felt like I was in your shoes. Today, I am a silent activist against many issues. Eating organic has saved what is left of my health and sanity. My son brought me canabis during my two treatments and it was very helpful with my appetite and attitude. It should be legal in all States and someday it will be.
I am rooting for you. Thank you for sharing.
I would slap myself hard over and over. I loved to watch horror films, the more violent, the better. My son took me to see "The Happening" - I laughed very loudly through the whole movie. Upon raising from sleepless nights, I would sililoque - "Get up you stupid *****, you worthless piece of sheet". I wanted to kill myself but also wanted to see if treatment would work. I lost most of my hair. My little 8 year old neice told me - I looked like a scarecow and smelled like a cat. My mother thought I was going to die. I became anorexic and became a stick figure. I never told my doctor my true situation or incredible self hatred and depression in fear he would terminate treatment. I tried to make friends on this site but scared everyone away. I am shocked I made it after going through two treatments adding up to almost 1 year and a half under Riba and interferons. I got cured with Incivek the last time. Is it worth it? I don't know. I wanted to be free of Hep C. Now I want to be free of my lost mind. I can't trust myself anymore with bills, cooking on the stove, finding my car, remembering to feed my cat or myself. I feel like a walking 'sucker' because I am so easily overwhelmed by everything. I have lost many memories and feel very sensitive to electricity. I feel like wearing an aluminum hat. that was a joke.
My children are glad I am cured. I really did the treatments for them in the long run but sacrificed half of my personality. I am sorry if I dissapointed you but that is my truth and when I read of yours, I felt like I was in your shoes. Today, I am a silent activist against many issues. Eating organic has saved what is left of my health and sanity. My son brought me canabis during my two treatments and it was very helpful with my appetite and attitude. It should be legal in all States and someday it will be.
I am rooting for you. Thank you for sharing.
Two years ago I did the Int+Rib+Incivek treatment, and did two interferon and Rib treatments before that. I lost a few friends and a promotional opportunity at work. That rage is a beast, and we all feel ya. Best wishes for getting through it and on to SVR!!
Whoa!
I think that the advice you have gotten here is good but I also think you should talk to your doc about reducing the Riba and adding some sort of antidepressant
You're on the right path
Breathe, listen to some music, take the dog for a walk or hike around the lake. I live next to the Pacific and since as early as I can remember, I threw rocks into the ocean. It always calmed me down
Nature has always been what works for and puts things into perspective
Keep us posted. I am worried about you
I think that the advice you have gotten here is good but I also think you should talk to your doc about reducing the Riba and adding some sort of antidepressant
You're on the right path
Breathe, listen to some music, take the dog for a walk or hike around the lake. I live next to the Pacific and since as early as I can remember, I threw rocks into the ocean. It always calmed me down
Nature has always been what works for and puts things into perspective
Keep us posted. I am worried about you
I feel your pain!
I moved from Heaven on Earth (San Francisco) to help my mother in this little shi! town & she convinced me to see the docs around here about my HepC.
I ended up at one of the best Liver Universities in the world and they destroyed my life. That was 10 years ago but we carry on...
I went thru 72 weeks of treatment hell living with my crazy parents. As a gay male & an insane Christian mother well... we were lucky I didn't burn down the house! It is impossible to remind yourself, while it is all going down, that these meds have changed your body/brain chemicals.
You don't mention what kind of doctor you are seeing. Liver Specialist? GP? If it is a GP then they really can't be expected to understand the complexity of it all. Liver Specialist = either on the take from Big Pharma (which new regulations under Obama made very difficult) or is just plain lying!
Anyways, you have to be your own advocate! Maybe someone can help you but you are the only one that can really fight for yourself.
Keep a notebook of what you are going thru. Keep it handy so if you come up with a question Write it down. If your doctor can't answer your questions then it is time to look for another doc. or at least a specialist.
Seems like you need a very good psychiatrist. They are difficult to find. The first one I had was a monster! She had me on an anti-depressant that wasn't working for me. She got angry with me that the med wasn't working for me! What an idiot.
When that conversation started going down I started planning on finding a new doc. I was lucky to find an angel on my second. He helped me so much, actually listened and would do what I asked. We had a relationship.
I have fired two docs last year. I live in a tiny town. I don't have many choices.
You do not have to live in such pain.
I moved from Heaven on Earth (San Francisco) to help my mother in this little shi! town & she convinced me to see the docs around here about my HepC.
I ended up at one of the best Liver Universities in the world and they destroyed my life. That was 10 years ago but we carry on...
I went thru 72 weeks of treatment hell living with my crazy parents. As a gay male & an insane Christian mother well... we were lucky I didn't burn down the house! It is impossible to remind yourself, while it is all going down, that these meds have changed your body/brain chemicals.
You don't mention what kind of doctor you are seeing. Liver Specialist? GP? If it is a GP then they really can't be expected to understand the complexity of it all. Liver Specialist = either on the take from Big Pharma (which new regulations under Obama made very difficult) or is just plain lying!
Anyways, you have to be your own advocate! Maybe someone can help you but you are the only one that can really fight for yourself.
Keep a notebook of what you are going thru. Keep it handy so if you come up with a question Write it down. If your doctor can't answer your questions then it is time to look for another doc. or at least a specialist.
Seems like you need a very good psychiatrist. They are difficult to find. The first one I had was a monster! She had me on an anti-depressant that wasn't working for me. She got angry with me that the med wasn't working for me! What an idiot.
When that conversation started going down I started planning on finding a new doc. I was lucky to find an angel on my second. He helped me so much, actually listened and would do what I asked. We had a relationship.
I have fired two docs last year. I live in a tiny town. I don't have many choices.
You do not have to live in such pain.
My doctor gave me a prescription of lorazepam 1MG to take at bedtime.
Otherwise, I was going to jump out of my skin. Getting relaxed sleep and not just sleep is extremely helpful. My doctor explained this to me when I told him I didn't want to take something to sleep. He said it's not sleep only you need.... your bodies muscles are so tense you can't get relief. I took the lorazepam and it worked the first time. He said there was a higher dose if you didn't get the rest needed. I took it for the rest of my treatment and for a month after stopping. It was a mind saver. I was sure I was loosing mine.
Otherwise, I was going to jump out of my skin. Getting relaxed sleep and not just sleep is extremely helpful. My doctor explained this to me when I told him I didn't want to take something to sleep. He said it's not sleep only you need.... your bodies muscles are so tense you can't get relief. I took the lorazepam and it worked the first time. He said there was a higher dose if you didn't get the rest needed. I took it for the rest of my treatment and for a month after stopping. It was a mind saver. I was sure I was loosing mine.
Ok here we go! Take a very deep breath my friend and trust EVERYTHING we are sharing with you. I was actually on the same treatment as you as most of my fellow responders were as well. Some even went 6 months.
What we are all trying to say is this is a side effect of Riba. Not YOU, it's the drug that is causing you to feel this way. Of course, no one told us how bad it would be. Certain people got thru it "No Problem" but the majority of us were basket cases including myself.
Personally walking was my best therapy. I would go outside and haul a$$ to release my pent up anxiety. The next best defense was making sure to drink lottsa water and try to eat as healthy as I could. Finally, sleep was my friend.
12 hours a day was my only solitude. Last but not least, coming on line with my new friends at Medhelp and learning strategies and tips on how best to erase my fears.
You are not alone. Please understand these meds are only temporary and you are half way there. It really in the end is worth the disruption in your life.
Take it one day at a time and focus on your new future.
We are here for you.
......Kim
What we are all trying to say is this is a side effect of Riba. Not YOU, it's the drug that is causing you to feel this way. Of course, no one told us how bad it would be. Certain people got thru it "No Problem" but the majority of us were basket cases including myself.
Personally walking was my best therapy. I would go outside and haul a$$ to release my pent up anxiety. The next best defense was making sure to drink lottsa water and try to eat as healthy as I could. Finally, sleep was my friend.
12 hours a day was my only solitude. Last but not least, coming on line with my new friends at Medhelp and learning strategies and tips on how best to erase my fears.
You are not alone. Please understand these meds are only temporary and you are half way there. It really in the end is worth the disruption in your life.
Take it one day at a time and focus on your new future.
We are here for you.
......Kim
Hi Hudell! You came to the right place to vent. Most of us here have been through the RIBA rage unfortunately. My Dr put me on Lorazepam because my anxiety was through the roof which intensified my rage. It helped to take the edge off. Also I tried to jump on the treadmill when I wasn't puking or blowing up the bathroom. Just do the best you can and don't give up. I know it's hard but you can do this!!!!!!!
Jules
Jules
sP.S. Your hair will grow back, as thick and healthy as ever, and maybe with a small amount of wave, if it is straight now.
So many of us have been there and done that!!
Watch, listen to and read funny / comedic things, stay away from the news, dramas and anything sad or depressing. Come here often to vent, share experiences, side effects, etc.
I didn't have any experience with medications, but many of our posters did. I hope that some will tell you their experiences and what worked the best.
Just talking about it with those cloest to you helps - first by keeping them aware of the problem, and also it helps you to remember that it IS the medicine, and you WILL get over it.
Also, don't forget to tell your partner how much you appreciate his patience and understanding!
Welcome to the Forum. You have come to the right place for understanding, commiseration, helpful tips, and advice. Hang in there, you are over half way there!!
Blessings,
Pat
Watch, listen to and read funny / comedic things, stay away from the news, dramas and anything sad or depressing. Come here often to vent, share experiences, side effects, etc.
I didn't have any experience with medications, but many of our posters did. I hope that some will tell you their experiences and what worked the best.
Just talking about it with those cloest to you helps - first by keeping them aware of the problem, and also it helps you to remember that it IS the medicine, and you WILL get over it.
Also, don't forget to tell your partner how much you appreciate his patience and understanding!
Welcome to the Forum. You have come to the right place for understanding, commiseration, helpful tips, and advice. Hang in there, you are over half way there!!
Blessings,
Pat
Hi there. Welcome to the forum. There are lots of helpful people here, there will almost certainly be some who have had the same treatment and can share how they got through it with you.
Ribavirin is horrible. I just finished three months taking it. My rage came out more after stopping. I was on a different treatment (Viekira Pak) though, so the other drugs may have been influencing that. Certainly recognising that this is riba-fuelled behaviour helps keep it in check.
I really related to your comment about people now seeming much more stupid than they did 2 months ago! Does your partner understand how riba is affecting you? Sounds like he is a treasure. Hang in there. The treatment time will go quickly. Be prepared for some readjustment after you stop too.
Any chance the pot is making the mood effects of Riba much stronger for you? The HCV antivirals are all still quite new. The interactions haven't all been studied fully yet. Most of us get told to stop taking even vitamin supplements because they modulate the drug absorption or cause other side effects. Depending on the person THC all by itself can do a number on your brain box.
Best wishes.
Ribavirin is horrible. I just finished three months taking it. My rage came out more after stopping. I was on a different treatment (Viekira Pak) though, so the other drugs may have been influencing that. Certainly recognising that this is riba-fuelled behaviour helps keep it in check.
I really related to your comment about people now seeming much more stupid than they did 2 months ago! Does your partner understand how riba is affecting you? Sounds like he is a treasure. Hang in there. The treatment time will go quickly. Be prepared for some readjustment after you stop too.
Any chance the pot is making the mood effects of Riba much stronger for you? The HCV antivirals are all still quite new. The interactions haven't all been studied fully yet. Most of us get told to stop taking even vitamin supplements because they modulate the drug absorption or cause other side effects. Depending on the person THC all by itself can do a number on your brain box.
Best wishes.
You have to keep reminding yourself and anyone who encounters your rage, that you are under going a difficult medical treatment and the attitude is a side effect of the medication.
Yes, staying home and away from people is a good idea. You can try to occupy your mind with good music, comedies and the like but nothing will help for long until you are off this medication.
You could talk to your doctor and see if they'll reduce your dosage.
Yes, staying home and away from people is a good idea. You can try to occupy your mind with good music, comedies and the like but nothing will help for long until you are off this medication.
You could talk to your doctor and see if they'll reduce your dosage.
I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time with the ribavirin. It can be a very nasty drug. Lots of people have had good results with Effexor which is an antidepressant that works well for people with anger issues. Unfortunately it usually takes 3 weeks to kick in and by then you will be almost done. Talk it over with your doc. He/she should be able to help. Wishing you the best.
Yep, Riba Rage...
Best thing was acknowledge that is the drug, not you, that it will pass after Tx. I tried to as much as possible to manage my environment, played only happy easy listening music, didnt listen to PBS news, watched light happy tv and movies, turned off news if it was sad or violent. Read light fiction if I could concentrate long enough.
Do keep drinking tons of water, keep your calorie intake consistant, the water will help keep the Riba passing through you.
Your hair will start regrowing about 8-10 months EOT, and it won't all fall out.
Feel free to vent here on the forum, it is ok, and you are not alone, what you are feeling is within the "normal" Sx of Riba. Keep the end prize in sight. One day at a time....
Hang in there,
Sandi
Best thing was acknowledge that is the drug, not you, that it will pass after Tx. I tried to as much as possible to manage my environment, played only happy easy listening music, didnt listen to PBS news, watched light happy tv and movies, turned off news if it was sad or violent. Read light fiction if I could concentrate long enough.
Do keep drinking tons of water, keep your calorie intake consistant, the water will help keep the Riba passing through you.
Your hair will start regrowing about 8-10 months EOT, and it won't all fall out.
Feel free to vent here on the forum, it is ok, and you are not alone, what you are feeling is within the "normal" Sx of Riba. Keep the end prize in sight. One day at a time....
Hang in there,
Sandi
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