Did I totally Over React

[nygirl7]

My son and his friend (20) came in the house last night while I was busy making dinner etc (basically stressed to the max) and all of a sudden he is asking where my sewing kit is. I'm like what for since when do you sew? He said oh no I'm gonna pierce Jon's ears. Now I know this kid Jon is a huge pillhead and I dont know what else he does aside from that but I said no there is no way in hell you are putting needles into anybody in my bathroom - of course he couldn't understand why. I told him Look it took me years to get over hcv I dont know anything about this kid then you are going to poke holes in him, have blood droplets around and put those needles back into the kit?

He got so mad and told me that I was a crazy idiot that I wouldn't get hep again that way blah blah so we had a HUGE fight. Like seriously I almost threw him out.

I think I was more mad that once I had said why it made me uncomfortable and he didn't respect that and all I've gone through that is what got me really going.

So yes overreaction I admit but does anybody on here understand why I'd feel like that?  Would you?

It's hard being so paranoid about things but I just am. I just want to keep that one little stage of my liver that i have left and do not want to take any chances even if they are totally irrational and yes of course I know I wouldn't get it back that way..............duh................

Just feeling bad today over the argument I guess.

[EyesofBlue55]

You had every right to tell him no-I would have told him to go buy his own needles and do it somewhere else beside your bathroom.....I would have reacted the same way..Young adults do not understand ANYTHING !!They are invincible and are going to do what they want.I have a daughter that "HAD" to have a tattoo when she was 18...I told her I didnt think that was a good idea(this was before i found out I have hcv)She did it anyway.Now she tells me that shes using her tax money to have it removed!!!!!More needles!!!!!I cringe now at the thought of doing anything that could put them at risk. Mothers DO know best...Been there,done that......One day maybe he will understand.....If they would only listen and respect your wishes????????????????????

[Kathy73]

My daughter once went three months without saying a word to me. In my head I was right and in her head she was right. It made for a very uncomfortable period of time. Finally I took the high road and apologized for not really hearing what she had to say. I was so invested in what I wanted and didn't hear that she was saying that she felt that she wasn't being heard. When I am in the moment of the argument, I can't hear or see anyone's viewpoint but my own.

That aside, my girlfriend pierced my ears with a needle and potato back in 1974 and I howled like a banshee!

[nygirl7]

OH my daughter went out and got a tatoo on both of her ankles - we had no idea at the time that you could indeed get hcv from them but now I always want to have her retested........I know I'm being silly but you are right Cindy as a mom you just HAVE to worry.

I tried to apologize to my son last night but he is more stubborn then I am and now today he wont answer his phone. Well thats good he can't hit me up for money if he's not talking to me.

Getting my ears pierced once was enough I dont know how these people do it over and over and all over the place........jez I'm old!

[Kathy73]

I'm sure when he needs to "borrow" money he'll facilitate a reapproachment. Its amazing how flexible their stubborn nature is when they want something. That's certainly the only time I hear from my 23 year old son...when he wants something.

[EyesofBlue55]

Sure you feel bad since hes not answering his phone,maybe you should not take any of his calls either.Dont apologise for your feelings!!!!When he needs money tell him you dont have it.I have 2 stepchildren that are always borrowing money and they dont come around unless they NEED something!!!!Not happening anymore-my husband hasnt seen hisngrandson in 2 years and they only live 20 minutes away.Sometimes you have to put a firm foot down!!!Play the game with him-I would cindy

[meakea]

The same scenario would have occurred in my home if my son had wanted to pierce a friend's body part in my home...over my dead body!  It's not just for you and your son's safety but for the friend's too.  

My youngest son (27) is "addicted" to getting tattoos and I have the same feeling every time he gets another one..."OMG, is this the time he gets infected with HCV or something else..." and that's even though he goes to a regulated, well-known tattoo parlor.

Let him be mad.  He owes you an apology for calling his mother a crazy idiot...period.

[paen53]

I can't stand it when one of my kids and I have an all out. I always feel that something will happen to them and I'll never have the chance to say "I love you" again. But sometimes there needs to be a cooling down period for all involved. I found, for me and mine anyway, that an email helps me to express my feelings in a less confrontational way, letting me place my words out of concern rather than fear and frustration (as I always seem to do initially). Then time for them to digest it and hopefully respond in kind. It usually works for us  - at least to clear the air. My daughter is a screamer and I absolutely can't deal with it, so this is much better for both of us - she can yell and I can't hear. :-)

[annieCinMD]

You totally did NOT overreact! Boy, this brings back memories of me piercing my own ear (yes, only one...it was probably 1976 and having one side with more holes than the other was just coming into vogue) with a needle and an ice cube. Good to see you still on here, not that I thought you wouldn't be!

[mikesimon]

I don't know how to characterize your reaction.
I just know I would have reacted the same way.

Mike

[working dog]

it's funny how this forum gives us a safe place to come where we all have this hep c in common...and in that way understand and respect each other...you'll be fine and right back on track with your son soon......billy

[Mary4now]

I never did have any kids,  but I thought if I did I would duct tape them and take them to some small town somewhere and not lose sight of them until they were old enough to take care of me.  I worked as a deckhand on a ferry once and the lead deck hand was on old timer, as soon as his kids could walk they had jobs and they took care of the farm, they didn't have time to get into trouble.  I would not have made a good mother.  I would have been a dictator.  
I stand with telling your kids what to do. not the other way around

[GSDgirl]

I just saw this and I would have done the same thing.  

Stuff like this reminds me of the day my dog caught my arm instead of the toy and when someone brought me a bandaid I was very loud saying DON'T TOUCH MY BLOOD.......I was SVR at the time.  

I want more tattoos but am afraid and too broke right now anyway LOL

[frijole]

goof, I do believe you are getting more deviant with time.  How special for NY to award you with the best answer

frijole

[Isobella]

You so did not overreact.  I would have been the same way.  Especially the part about not appreciating what you went through during tx.  That was the one big fight my daughter and I ever had.  

You've done your part by trying to apologize to him.  He'll call when he needs something and by then enough time will have passed that you won't even mind giving him money =)

Goofy:  My how times have changed from the days of making prank phone calls about Prince Albert in a can..................ewww and ouch.

Isobella

[meakea]

Lol...Isobella...I say....ewwww and WTF???!!   :)

[GoofyDad]

So true. We used to call the butcher to ask of they have pigs feet. Now the kids call the baker to ask if they do cream puffs.

"Well clean yerself off and pull up 'cher pants when yer done."

[can-do-man]

We used to ???

Hey goof is your refrigerator running?

[GoofyDad]

Uh, yeah. Why?

[can-do-man]

Don't ya think you better go catch it?

[GoofyDad]

I already caught it. Then I got rid of it. Good thing too - damn thing was starting to cause problems.

Refrigerators, viruses, and wives. They sure are alike.  

[orphanedhawk]

When I had my ears pierced that way, at the age of 14, I didn't ask anyone, I just did it.

The trick to dealing with kids of that age is remaining calm. You just tell them the way it is, turn your back and continue cooking dinner.
I know, easier said then done.
Don't fret, he'll get over it.

[GoofyDad]

"The trick to dealing with kids of that age is remaiing calm"

The trick to dealing with kids of that age is knowing what the H is going on. Next time you're passing the courthouse, tell him you need to pay a parking ticket. Make him go in through the metal detector with you and see if he sets anything off once he's taken the change out of his Levi's.

C'mon, you want to know if he's packin' more hardware than the good lord gaveth.And so do we. Or not.

[jusjames]

piercing your ears with a needle ? how 1980's !