Lady Laurie's Dear Sister

[Isobella]

Hey All.  Hope everyone here is well.  I received an email from Laurie
and just wanted to share her sad news. Because she's one of the
"oldies, but goodies"  I'm sure most of y'all are friends with her.

Her sister passed away from her cancer earlier this week.  Laurie was holding her
while she passed.  She said that while she understood that her sis was
now free from pain and able to put down the fight, the loss was still
kicking her ***.


She said she wasn't able to reply to messages and posts right now,
besides her internet connection being "iffy", just the impact of her
loss was hitting her hard.


She's such a fun-loving, full of life lady that I hate to see her
down.  She is the epitome of "heart" in my book.

I wondered if posting this was invading her privacy and want to say right now, that if I have overstepped, I sincerely apologize.  But as so many of you know....we tend to hold each other closely in our hearts around here and I thought this was nice time to send Laurie back some of the love.  

Isobella

[Lady Lauri]

No way to do my usual style of replying to each here (an anal thing with me, many remember ;) So much thanks to all, Mike, charm, Jd, Marcia......ALL. It's funny, I'd said to many here, my tx was the first time in my life I didn't HAVE to do anything, I was homebound, had to stop work, etc. so in some ways, it was a real change.I was a run 100 miles an hr, far too busy woman before that for yrs.  I also lived here thru tx! I'd said it was a 'warm and fuzzy' place for me and I missed it after tx & getting back to busy. It was 'home' to many of us in our Hep C life, fight. Well, me coming 'home' thru all the heartbreak going on.....says it all about med help (you all) aye? Even reading and posting is helpful for me right now.

Comeagain.....that was awesome!! Even in just stopping and noticing, let alone the reasons you did. And I also have looked much closer at dragonflies, butterflies! Hopsice's have butterflies all over inside, some dragonflies too. Thank you!!

tulsatime....I do remember you and thanks so much for taking the time and kind thoughts, I just looked at your profile and just can't believe you haven't cleared with Geno 2. Sending you a quick note.

Much luv and a LOT of respect to u all, LL

[Marcia2202]

Lauri, you are an amazing courageous woman. I am so sorry for these news. May your family be able to get through this with. I am sending warm thoughts and my prayers.

Much love,

Marcia

[tulsatime]

Hi, I don't know if you remember me because I have been gone from this site for a while. But I came across this post and just wanted to say what a special lady you are... you have such a way with your words that I can tell you have a wonderful spirit. My prayers are with you and your family. I lost my dad and it has been almost 2 yrs, so I know how the pain of losing a loved one is , my dad was my best friend. Your post brought tears to my eyes. And your story of the dragon flies WOW what a beautiful story...
Hugs, Debi

[comeagain]

Got to share this event with you all!!
Yesterday I was far away at the countryside playing golf all by my self, not many people were out playing . It was a very peaceful and fine day indeed.

It was not to hot but still not cold and the rain was hanging there but never started.
You might say it was fairy weather in a fairy-tail surroundings.
This is not a fairy-tail though but a true story!!

When I reached hole 16 I saw some thing on the "fairyway" grass a lonely dragonfly.

As soon as I saw what it was, Lady Laurie and her story came before me.
I kneeled down and carefully put my hand in front of it , and the little alian angel climbed up on my finger.

A great moment!!!

I got on my feet and took a close look at the strange creature it was so beautiful.
nevr seen one this close before,it was as though it had a face, kind of reminded of ET big blue eyes and those magnificent wings.

I was looking at it and it was looking back at me  and I felt as though we were connected and I couldn´t help my self but kissed one of Hes Shes wings.

Then i carefully put my hand on the ground and She or He (I don´t  know what sex but I don´t wanna called the little angel a it no more) She He climbed of my finger and sat still on the fairway grass just as I found Her!!

Hope this means happiness, new beginnings and
change for for everyone that reads this!!

Jan..

[mikesimon]

I feel for you Laurie but I really have no words.
Be well,
Mike

[jdwithhcv]

Oh, Lauri, what can I say.  My thoughts are with you.

jd

[charm27]

Again, Im so so sorry for this heart wrenching news about your mother. Im sneding all the prayers I possibly can.
God bless all of you.
Hope you and yours find the strength (and I know you will) to get thru these tragic
and sad times)

Oh Laurie....My heart is with you.

CHARM

[Lady Lauri]

I got a message from Charm this AM and decided to check in here. We're now settling back in after all the commotion, going thru my sisters house (God, she was a pack rat woman!), etc. as so many here know is all the process of loss.  I truly hate that I can't give any positive news to this very caring thread but it just gets worse :(
I have used this quote in my daily life lately....."I am good at a lot of things, I am NOT good at loosing people".

My mother ( my step mother, for 47 yrs. ) has been diagnosed with lung cancer, we are not supposed to know yet, she's worried about us! My father...is just ripping my heart out as well. He is such a good man, truly my 'hero' and his morals, character is so what molded who I am today. It wasn't 2 wks after my sisters passing that they found this out. I simply do not know how to help him in all his pain and am truly worried he won't be able to handle all of this. She's a spunky 80, but that age, lung cancer, not a good ending here. I just can't believe he is being dealt so much (they) and while it's kicking our tails to the ground, nothing like what it's all doing to him/her.

Judi....I was looking for a house to buy when all this happened, I'd lived behind my sis to be close to her for 5 yrs. I am currently renting a small house in a very relaxing area, but am panicking over one thing...'Oh sh*t, what am I going to do about Halloween?"! This yard won't fit a 1/4 of my stuff! It would be really good for me to be so busy doing that too, it's takes a mth. to put together, I could so use the distraction! I will be sure to let you know tho ;)

I reflect a lot, not live in the past, but reflect. I know not one of us can say life has gone as we'd planned, hoped when young and fearless. I always believe things happen for a reason, the paths we planned turn in the opposite direction, the roads we were on, dead end! I am very adaptable, accept and handle things very well, no hysteria, panic, but accept and look at how to make any situation better. It's very hard to do here, with many of us, I am sure, when so much is so bad at once. I repeat as above, I won't let me spirit die here, I'll take it all and use it to be more caring, say more things we too often get too busy to say, spend more time with friends, family so that I won't have any regrets of being too busy to do so. We had a bar-b-q here yesterday, I enjoyed my friends, family more so yesterday, just in appreciation I have them all. That pit in your stomach, in such hard loss, was gone for an evening. Thus far in all of this, thats what I have learned to appreciate, just feeling happy for even a day.

Thanks for your words, everyones here. As I did so often when Elaine went thru her huge loss with Nick.......tell your kids you love, adore them today....even if their messing up! Tell some friends how much you appreciate them, tell your parents thank you for all they did raising you, call an old friend to say hello and smile at a crabby waitress or person in a store, because you never know what is making them crabby!  Make someone feel loved today.

Much love all, Lauri

[seabean]

My deepest sympathy to you & your family.  I cannot fathom that much loss at one time.  

With Halloween on it's way, you will soon be busy decorating your home.  I have enjoyed the past years posts about your love of Halloween and your decorations.  Maybe this year I'll drive up and check it out (I'm only 2 hours away),

Please take care of yourself :-)

Judi

[Lady Lauri]

Your all so great. I am crying as I read all this, but for the first times in weeks, it's tears of comfort, not incredible sadness.
The services are over, the dust has settled, and yes, it's all starting to sink in.

Davids was Thursday, my sisters was Friday. Hardest 2 days of my life. As I got out of the car at my sisters, I started shaking, breaking down, loosing it, but pulled myself together. It became 'real' as I arrived at the church. I spoke at my sisters, spur of the moment, for my entire family. To date, I can not remember what I said, I just know my father loved it, all said it was beautiful and I truly, can't remember what all I said!? Both, were beautiful services. Ironic that I did Davids memorial cards, obit and have created a legacy page for him. He did know I'd always watch over his children, I did all these yrs. His kids, my step kids, are breaking my heart. As is my father. My sons, it all has torn them up. My step daughter made picture boards of his ex and family, and one of him and I and our family together, it was quite an honor.... from all of his family, the love and respect I got, always have. (In no catty way, I was 'best' for him, I rarely drank and made him drink less, loved his kids like mine and so on. The next one drinks daily, wasn't so good to the kids, etc. No one after me stood a chance with his family, lol!  ; ) Him and I had remained friends, as we've been since I was 19 yrs. old. I left him... still loving him, that is very hard to do. He tried to date again a couple yrs. ago, but he still drank too much.  I never stopped loving him, it was that choice in life you have to make that hurts like h*ll.

I miss them both terribly. I can't fathom they are both just gone from my life. Both loss's at once, just unexplainable. My sister fought so very hard for one more day, he chose no more days, in sickness. The two things I am having having a hard time getting out of my head are her in her last 2 days, and him as he pulled that trigger, the thoughts in his head. I know it'll leave me, the good thoughts will take over.

Mikkimoe, your words on your sister....so true. I have had her every day of my life, calling each other 1-10 times a day. In a store, calling to ask a size, in a fight with the boyfriend, talked all day 'about nothing'.....every day. We did chemo together. They day I started mine, she was next door at Shands to do, yet another, round of her chemo. I am drug phobic! When it came time for my first shot....I thought of her, all her hell, chemo and said "buck up and DO IT" and did. Those that came with me (to hold me down, lol) were shocked. Then as I waited for the effects, what I'd feel from it, I went over and sat with her thru her chemo. My poor father, two of his girls at once. She had a very b*thcy side, my other sister and I now laugh....she knows what we felt in those times now, and we joke about 'Pattys tone"....when you knew to run,lol. But she far more had a loving side. I know I was there for her, no one else really was. Our last conversation, before her mind 'left' us, was her telling me something she always did..."your my heart , Lauri, you've always been my heart. You have been by my side for everything". I am so glad I was. Our mother left us when I was barely 2, her 8. My father took his 4. She always tried to fill in as my mother, from 2 yrs. old. She was my sister, my 'mother', my best friend.

I am truly in a fog. I know many of you have gone thru this, loss, pain. I can't thank every one of you enough in all your kind words. The difference here is you MEAN them, I know how much you mean them.

Thanks all so much, and for letting me babble.....it helps, truly, love u all

[Lady Lauri]

Ladybug, looks like we found the same site! The other night I sat on my porch, after both services, and was, naturally, crying. I heard chimes, the beautiful sounding ones, not the brash ones. For only about 60-70 seconds. The sound was very clear, very close. There was very little wind. I went out the next day, we have no chimes (yet) and nor do any of my neighbors! I do believe in life after and all the little things we need to watch for, or even cling to in grief.


....The meaning of a dragonfly changes with each culture. The main symbolisms of the dragonfly are renewal, positive force and the power of life in general.  Dragonflies can also be a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity. Also, as a creature of the wind, the dragonfly frequently represents change.  And as a dragonfly lives a short life, it knows it must live its life to the fullest with the short time it has – which is a lesson for all of us.

There are many different representations of the dragonfly; it all comes down to which culture you happen to be in.  For instance, if you are in Japan, the dragonfly symbolizes a new light and joy. Some animal symbolism has the dragonfly representing good luck, prosperity, swiftness, purity, harmony and strength. Some Native Americans believe dragonflies are the souls of the dead. There are also many cultures that believe that the meaning of a dragonfly is happiness, courage and subconscious thoughts. It is also believed that if you see two dragonflies paired together that they represent love and maturity.    



The dragonfly has been a symbol of happiness, new beginnings and
change for many centuries and even though the representation of the dragonfly seems to change throughout the cultures, there are still a few things that are similar; the dragonfly means hope, change and love......

[ladybug52]

Goodness! I'm overwhelmed....so many parts of your letter touched me in so many ways, thank you for sharing your story.

I'm so sorry to hear of all the suffering you've been through in such a short time. I remember you talking about your friend Melissa, and your urging for others to go their ob/gyn.  Thanks to you, I did get my "annual" and now, three years later, I will schedule another  one.

I'm so proud of you, that you can bear this unbearable sorrow and still keep your faith.
Comeagain cracks me up! "I think God has a crush on you or something!!"

I found a website on  the meaning of dragonflies and I would like to share some of it with you:
"The main symbolism of the dragon flies are renewal, positive force and the power of life in general.  
The dragonfly has been a symbol of happiness, new beginnings and
change for many centuries......the dragonfly means hope, change and love."

How fitting!
When you are feeling low, remember you are loved, and your sister will be with you, even tho she's not here.
My mother loved Cardinals, and since she died we've had a family of them living near us.
I truly believe in things that can't be explained, or may seem just like a coincidence to others.
I'll remember you in my prayers, Laurie....take care.
Love,
Janice/Bug

[Mikkimoe]

**** how can such bad things happen to such good people?

Unbelievably bad news - my heart is crying for you. It's always so hard for us left beind. My sister is closer to me then anyone in the world  - she has been by my side for everything horrible moment in my life - she even astroprojected to me after I almost died. I simply can't imagine what you are going through. I have lost so many friends to cancer - my dear friend who died last year at our ranch still visits me (she leaves spirit spots on all the pictures I take there). I know it will not be that long and I'll be there with her and all the others on heavens door. You are a very strong soul and have been there for everyone including us. Just let yourself grieve and find peace in knowing you were so THERE for them.

Sorry I have been so long away.....your daunting experiences seem to have brought the old clan back together. You have always had that way about you...like drawing the Dragon flies in...you are an amazing gal and we are there for you if you need us.

Sending Lots of Love your way,

Mikkimoe

[GoofyDad]

Lauri,

You know that all our hearts are with you. I can't even imagine what it's like. Take comfort knowing that the pain will diminish (somewhat) over time, even though right now it feels like that could never happen.

[IAmTheWalrus]

Laurie, I am so sorry to hear the tragedy you have had to suffer. I lost my father to a long illness a few years ago. I can imagine the hole this must leave in your life. You have been a good friend to so many. You have a lot of good Karma coming to you.

The dragonfly story was nice. Ironic in that I was just commenting to my wife upon seeing a dragonfly the other day that we do not seem to see as many as we did as kids. Maybe we were just more aware of them then.

Love an peace to you,
Brent

[chevyelcam79]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.  May thoughts and prayers help ease your pain at this time.  

The dragonfly story is truly beautiful!  

Love,
Shari

[stubby226]

Words would never help with all you have been thru.  We lost 9 family members in a 5 year period.  It was so traumatic.  It was only by the grace of God we were able to mke it to te other side.The hardest was loosing my brother to cancer.  I do know that the hardest time was afterthingsclmed down and we were on our own again.  Try to have arrangements tovisit, go places 3-6 months from now.  If I can be of any help please let me know.

[mikesimon]

I am so very sorry Laurie. I cannot imagine what you're going through.
Thank you for sharing with us.
May God bless you and may you find peace.
Michael

[nygirl7]

OH lord Laurie nothing can take away the pain of this whole experience but I hope you know that all of your friends are really thinking of you and sending our love and prayers towards you and your family.

I am so very very sorry for your loss.  

All of my love,Debby

[kickboxingmom]

I am also sooooooooo sorry ! What a wonderful, sister, wife, friend you are . You are who you are and whatever the reason are able to handle everything that has been placed before you.For what reason ? We don't know but you will be strong as you have been strong this whole journey.I am proud of you and want to let you know my heart is with you.The dragon flies mean something.
One of my customers that passed this June was in hospice and the day before he passed he said, Tammy are my hands still there ? I said, yes and wiggeled them.He was not saved and the crows were everywhere right before he went in the hospital.I felt like I was in the movie The Birds.He was consoled when I would scare them away.Anyways, he was saved right before he passed the next day and the crows went away right before he passed.I ask a priest about the crows and he said, they were eating his flesh.??????????? Again girl, I am so sorry.     Tammy

[sunqueen]

Blessings and condolences to you LL. I'm so sorry for your loss.  The story of the dragonflies is beautiful. Take a little time to care for you now, when you can.

[lapis]

I don't "know" you, being a relative newcomer to the site, but I do read your posts when you're around.  I came upon this tonight, and felt moved to respond.

The number of deaths you've experienced lately is just unfathomable.  I extend my heartfelt compassion to you and your loved ones as you work through all these losses.  

Thank you for sharing the beautiful story of the dragonflies.  It seems like such a synchronous event, one of those reminders that there are no coincidences.  I hope that having seen such a sight will give you some comfort in remembering your beloved sister.

Blessings to you and your family,
Lapis

[GSDgirl]

L.L.   I am so very sorry for your loss.   I have been there and there are no words that come to mind to ease your heart.  25 years later (for me) it still cuts like a knife.  You are in my thoughts.  

Denise

[comeagain]

My deepest condolences I`m sending your way.

Thx for sharing your wonderful spirit with us.

You really someone speciall, I think God has a crush on you or something!!
Your one of his eyestones thats for sure!!!

lts terrible all that death thats been around you in such a short period of time !!
I sincerely hope and pray for that to stop now.

I really loved the dragonflie story what a bless for you and your father and all who saw them and they didn´t got catched on the camera film, just wonderfully amazing.

Best to you and your loved ones dear girl!!

Jan