Should I tell my employer?

[Amaseven]

Hello Everyone,

I got infected with Hep C in 1984 when I had some blood transfusions.  I didn't know I even had it until about 12 years ago.  Just recently I went in for a Biopsy, I have type 2b, Stage 2, Grade 2.  I have not started treatment yet, but I'm sure I will.  I'm worried that the treatment is going to make me really sick.  I'm currently working full time and have gone back to school full time.  My question is should I tell my employer what's going on.  I already told him that I had to go in for a Biopsy so I could get the day off.  But I'm not sure what else I should tell him.  I only have about 8 more months before I'm done with school so I'm also worried I won't be able to finish.  

[Alady1620]

No, don't tell your employer unless you absolutely have to!  You will regret it!

[jmjm530]

MO: So anyhow, no, I will not cheat when I'm dead cause I like Jenna too much. I was her maid of honor at your wedding or did you forget that?
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I knew my sex life was in the cellar since treatment  (except with Jenna of course)   -- but when you can't even shag a dead one, time to rethink strategy. Maybe I should give that eharmony guy a call.

[Myown]

If your husband cheats on you after you're dead, you can cheat on him with me. "Jenna" isn't exactly what you'd call a live one.
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Hardy har har. My husband is very settled and so used to"Me." Its really a tough thing sometimes when someone passes if they are so used to having this person a part of their life for so long. My husband was a confirmed bachelor and for what ever reason he "took to me" and is addicted. I mean that too. I really think its that he enjoys my personality (its certainly not for everyone) and I don't think he would do the "guy thing" and start hunting for someone to replace his wife "immediately." I really don't. I think he would miss me for a long while first. Then eventually get out there. I would hope he would marry again and find happiness again and I actually wish I would be able to interview her before I died LOL(seriously though) because I would hate to think of him getting hurt by some woman that might not treat him with kindness cause in all honesty, he is the kindest man I have ever met in my life. I know there are other kind men around me, but because I know him so well I see the depth of his soul. Gee, I'm in such a serious moooooood.

So anyhow, no, I will not cheat when I'm dead cause I like Jenna too much. I was her maid of honor at your wedding or did you forget that?

[jmjm530]

If your husband cheats on you after you're dead, you can cheat on him with me. "Jenna" isn't exactly what you'd call a live one.

[Myown]

"Or whatever". LOL. Right. And he bought this, huh :)
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I'm sure he'll do the "whatever" and forget the rest of it. LOL

[jmjm530]

MO: ut I did tell him "if I ever died (not to be doom and gloom but a few of his friends popped out suddenly and so thats why I got on this subject with my husband) and you eventually meet someone, its best to be honest if you are going to marry again or whatever, and let the woman know your wife had hep c, but you don't. At least she then could research and decide whether she would want to dump you or not." LOL
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"Or whatever". LOL. Right. And he bought this, huh :)

[alagirl]

MO - I haven't heard anything EITHER, kind of freaking me out.  Can't get my investigator guy to call me back, but I'll let you guys know as soon as I hear.

4C - You said, "If this were not true, then why would thousands and thousands of couples  -- that are statistically analyzed, (anyone can read the stats in the studies available) have one partner that has it, and one that doesn't?"

Actually, and I'll find it and post it, but I'll have to search for it again to do so... (had it saved on the laptop that slid off my lap when I fell asleep the other night and went boom on the floor) some of those studies have been debunked a bit.

[Myown]

alagirl said..Yeah, That one IS a tad difficult to stomach after you've been raped by a known hep c positive junkie, have no other risk factors, have a negative test nine days prior to the assault, and start to get sick with acute hep c three or four weeks later.
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Guy is in jail now, right? I didn't see any follow up posts - court case etc.
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Forsee said: love you kiddo, and I agree with much of what you say
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I love you too and agree with much of what you say also. Yeah the getting hcv thru sex - I know its hard to understand cause alot of our spouses are undetected in serum,,,but IMO -I think its there, but maybe in their tissue. Even if there wasn't mention of this Occult thing. I mean,, its in saliva and if particles are there and you kiss - ,,,,,,, of course particles would enter their mouth. So are people going to think that hcv virons in saliva are 'weaker 'than hcv virons in blood...OR maybe they will say, but it won't enter the blood stream? Mothers are even told to watch what they eat when breast feeding - why? Cause what goes into the babies MOUTH goes into the body. I really do believe that it is transmitted thru bodily fluids and maybe just makes it way to the liver and tissues and is low level and not detectable. Fact? No. Opinion? Yes.
What country is this? America. Can I have my opinion no matter how nuts it may sound to someone else? Yes. I didn't say that for you, but for others who may disagree - I don't want to hear it.Unless its said without attitude.

But anyhow, I'm glad my husband tests negative but I did tell him "if I ever died (not to be doom and gloom but a few of his friends popped out suddenly and so thats why I got on this subject with my husband) and you eventually meet someone, its best to be honest if you are going to marry again or whatever, and let the woman know your wife had hep c, but you don't. At least she then could research and decide whether she would want to dump you or not." LOL
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And as far as what you said about paragraphs disappearing - yes, that happened to me to. It felt weird - I know what you mean.

[Forseegood]

am i hallucinating? do other people think they type paragraphs and then they don't show up?

I also said there is a caveat about anal and rough sex, because of the possibility of blood exchanged, etc. weird.

I think if youre finger gets wonky and touches a code key or something, everything is zapped. whatever, I'm zapped.

[Forseegood]

Boy, do I need a break...thought I had a sentence up there that said that HIV is thought to be passed through bodily fluids far more readily then HCV...which is still thought to be a "blood to blood disease.

[Forseegood]

love you kiddo, and I agree with much of what you say...but I think what gets lost in some of these discussions is "subtle distinctions"...to me, most things aren't black and white...I don't think anyone in the "not through sex" crowd.....that I have seen anyway.....is saying that it is IMPOSSIBLE to get through sex. Of course there is a possibility.

If this were not true, then why would thousands and thousands of couples  -- that are statistically analyzed, (anyone can read the stats in the studies available) have one partner that has it, and one that doesn't? Even if they have been practicing unsafe sex without a condom? (that's not to posit unsafe sex, by any means).  

Even on these boards, if you were just taking a casual overview, there have been many, many people who have come on here and said, you know, I have it, but my hubby or wife doesn't... I like to pay attention to things like that. Not to imply that there haven't been a few people who think they might of gotten it through sex, but I certainly haven't seen MANY. I don't know about anybody else.

These type of statistics just do not show up in couples as regards to HIV....a disease which is thought to be passed though sex far more readily because of the stats...

As an aside...Kinda glad I don't have time to be here much today as I'm going away to Santa Barbra for the weekend (wish I could run into Kalio, I wonder what happened to her??, oh well)...but just thought I'd throw this out there...see what sticks, lol...My Own, have a fabo weekend kiddo, you deserve it!!!!! Get that hubby of yours to spring for a nice din din!!!! Be well....

[alagirl]

That chick is either on speed or she has something truly strange going on with her lower jaw...

[alagirl]

And the not thru sex transmission crowd - need not apply - don't want to hear it,so please don't lecture me, thanks (to others who may want to respond about how hard it is to get thry sex is what I mean)
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Yeah, That one IS a tad difficult to stomach after you've been raped by a known hep c positive junkie, have no other risk factors, have a negative test nine days prior to the assault, and start to get sick with acute hep c three or four weeks later.

[Myown]

And if the above video makes you feel down in the dumps, I heard that there is a NEW Ad that is better than Paxel and Lexapro. You may want to check out their commercial.
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGRB_ekAP9c

[Myown]

I just finished typing a response to your posts and my computer shut off - 2nd time. Ugh! Neighbor too, so I guess the power company will be here shortly....BUT anyhoo thanks, glad I made you laugh, cause alot of times I wind up deleting what I post figuring my humor may be a bit off color or something.......but listen to this,,,,as far as commercials and people who may help our image as far as the getting rid of the stereo type hepper,,,,,,WELL!!! we all thought Pamela Anderson was bad,,,check this out,,,,I looked on Utube for any new videos concerning hep c and just at look at this one.

I know it would be hard to tell a boss or friend we have hep c, so maybe we all should just leave this video for them to look at,,LOL                                
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pT0WJnq6hE

I mean really, I don't wish this disease on anyone, but doesn't anyone wholesome looking (besides us LOL) get this disease? I don't remember if this girl in the video says she has hep too,,,but IF she doesn't,,,,,HOW THE HECK DID WE GET IT IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE IT???? LOL I mean really - I don't understand this disease. I doubt any of us were in a hiGHHHHHHH risk group as she is or 'was" as she stated AND she doesn't have it. And the not thru sex transmission crowd - need not apply - don't want to hear it,so please don't lecture me, thanks (to others who may want to respond about how hard it is to get thry sex is what I mean)

But anyhow, the stigma is alive and well and that to me is the reason we can't have our "coming out of the closet" party yet....maybe in a few more years IF people keep heeding the adivce of some of these doctors and continue to have unprotected sex and blah blah blah.

See ya's later and lets continue to hope for the 'genital herpes" people to do our commercials for us.
Keep hope alive.

[alagirl]

that's frickin hysterical though.  Those commercials ARE like that.  Come, have herpes, we all party in Jamaica every day...

[alagirl]

We need the media to make commericials for hepC that make others want to have it and make them feel as if they are missing out on something by not having it.
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ROFL! (I don't think I'm missing out on much by not having herpes.  Pretty pleased to be left out of that great lotto actually, LOLOLOL)

[justvlm1]

OMG, I was just recently watching one of those commericals, thinking basically the same thing.  You verbalized this very well.  I'm with you so if you see any progress on HEPC awareness in the tv airs, let me know.  Thanks for chiming to keep me from feeling like I'm a lousy person for looking for an "easy" excuse.  

[Myown]

No.

I'm never going to tell anyone that I have Hep C until they start making those same type of television
commercials that they make for people who have genitial herpes. We need the media to make commericials for hepC that make others want to have it and make them feel as if they are missing out on something by not having it. HepC infected men and women healthy looking, holding hands running on the beach, stopping kissing, bending down splashing the water on each other while their pants are rolled up like little peddle pushers, sun bleached hair. So no, don't tell anyone 'yet.' Well thats what I am going to do. I'll wait until I know that people will feel envious of me when I say I have hep c(same as I feel about people with genitial herpes) and I will NOT tell them before that day- so IMO - wait for the TV advertisements and hope for the same writers as the herpes ad's.

[justvlm]

Thanks spcecst2 & alagirl.  Thanks for helping.  I was feeling like I should be ashamed of acting like I'm ashamed of having this.  Everyone here knows it matters not how we got here, just turn around and walk calmly as possible to the exit door as quickly as possible - thanking God that we have this forum.  I guess I'm just trying to prepare as much as I can for anything that might jump up to surprise me... that must be a knee-jerk reaction to being caught so off guard 3 weeks ago with this diagnosis.

[alagirl]

The treatment is going to make you very sick.  Probably.  At least at times.  I would not advise you AT ALL to tell your employer you have HCV.  Make up anything else.  Cancer, leukemia, warts, whatever.  Just say that you are on chemo for your liver and typically people will infer all kinds of things, usually liver cancer or the like, but you can just say you prefer not to get into the details because you're "trying to stay positive."  

But if you tell even one person, they will talk.  It's just human nature.  Now if you plan on having this disease for the rest of your life, well then fine.  Maybe you can make some peace with that.  But I don't.  And I haven't decided if HCV is what I want everyone to think everytime they see me henceforth.  So, you have to do what you are comfortable with, but that's how I handled it.  I said, I am having to be on chemo for my liver.  If they asked further I acted very upset, which wasn't much of an act, trust me, and just said I found it upsetting to talk about.  So now I'm on prayer lists at every church in town for liver cancer I'm sure, but whatever.  Only medical personnel, a couple of law enforcement investigators (due to the way I got HCV) and my immediate family knows any different.

[spcecst2]

Neither the ADA nor the EEOC maintain a list of conditions that automatically qualify as a disability. There is plenty of reading out there that says you may, or may not, be covered under ADA! So be careful, and if you plan to use FLMA do some reading first!! These may reqiure some disclosure! Be careful who you tell cause once that's cats out you won't be getting it back! It's all nice to talk about educating people, but you can't make a dumb a$$, not a dumb a$$!!
http://lawblogs.slu.edu/healthlaw/?author=57 is just a sample!

[justvlm1]

I hope it's ok to post to an old thread.  Thought it easier than recreating and "already" discussed subject.  I'm pretty new to this arena, and pretty amaze at how I far come in just 3 weeks from over-the-top panic to "I'm puttin' on my battle dress and will soon be ready to kick some butt".  Well, that's actually a lot fake bravado, but at least I've climbed back off the 5th floor ledge.  To the subject at hand....

I work for a large corporation in a position I've worked very hard to get.  My department is a small, close-knit group.  One sweetie will even bring home-made chicken soup if you get a cold (won't be able to get much past her) and another is a kook for research (looks up everything).  My supervisor is a wonderful guy, but I think I have a pretty clear visual of how uncomfortable working with someone that HAS THAT VIRUS would be.  So, I've opted to not disclose the nature of the beast.  Makes me sick (note to self: add to sx) that as Robin said... if it was cancer... OMG, I'd be flooded with sympathy.  AND THE POINT IS:  What is a passable condition or disease that won't offend the dumb public that has the possible (probable) sx of tx.  I wish I could be a crusader for the cause of "Educating the mass public, or at least my office" but, alas, I'm still in the dressing room trying to find a suit of armor that fits.  Thanks in advance to all ~..~ vlm

ps I have type 2b, not recv'd my VL results yet (long thread that belong on the "is my doc stupid?") so I'm hoping for 24 weeks of tx if I have to before better meds come off the assembly line.

[ladybug52]

I belong in the 'Don't Tell the Nature of Your Illness to Anyone' club.
In fact, I'm president!
Be an advocate for the disease when your job isn't at risk. Like Deb, I trusted an employer and had to learn the hard way...