Aa
curing the demons of TX
Many people here, including me, suffer from emotional side effects from the drugs we are taking. I am off the tx for 8 weeks now and the demons are still running around my head. I spend a lot of effort looking for ways to dispatch them.
I was raised in a family of agnostics with no religious training. With that as a background I have to tell you about my musical experience of an hour ago; I listened to a 60 year old recording of Marion Anderson singing "He Shall Feed His Flock" from Handel's Messiah. I am not sure if I ever heard anything like this before; it was so pure and perfect that I felt that if there is a God, surely he/she has given us a gift in Handel and Marion Anderson that transcends discrete religions and races and it actually put me at peace for the first time in a year!
I once saw a famous Israeli woman violinist interviewed; she was asked what was her favorite music to play. She replied without hesitation that it was the Brahms Violin Concerto in D minor. She said the notes were so perfect that they must have been written by God. I didn't know what she meant, but now I do.
I was raised in a family of agnostics with no religious training. With that as a background I have to tell you about my musical experience of an hour ago; I listened to a 60 year old recording of Marion Anderson singing "He Shall Feed His Flock" from Handel's Messiah. I am not sure if I ever heard anything like this before; it was so pure and perfect that I felt that if there is a God, surely he/she has given us a gift in Handel and Marion Anderson that transcends discrete religions and races and it actually put me at peace for the first time in a year!
I once saw a famous Israeli woman violinist interviewed; she was asked what was her favorite music to play. She replied without hesitation that it was the Brahms Violin Concerto in D minor. She said the notes were so perfect that they must have been written by God. I didn't know what she meant, but now I do.
I think music touches us in such a profound way, the same as nature. I know God is there when I hike a silent mountnain, understand his might, or when hear His voice in the soft strains of tenor of Classico Domingo, Hear that fortititude of wagner.
David did dance for the Lord, shocking many, yet he was a favored one.
The make you wanna dance of rock. The sorrow of blues.
There are so many ways to connect with this wonderful world and the gifts we are given, great art,
If this disease teaches us nothing else it should be to open our eyes to each other, to the world, to ALL the beauties of life!
This was nice to read! Joyful!
David did dance for the Lord, shocking many, yet he was a favored one.
The make you wanna dance of rock. The sorrow of blues.
There are so many ways to connect with this wonderful world and the gifts we are given, great art,
If this disease teaches us nothing else it should be to open our eyes to each other, to the world, to ALL the beauties of life!
This was nice to read! Joyful!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dZn_VBgkPNY&feature=related
That was great!
Here is a rather esoteric one: the prelude from Bach suites for unaccompanied cello. It takes some getting used to but it is marvelous if you have the patience to learn from it.
That was great!
Here is a rather esoteric one: the prelude from Bach suites for unaccompanied cello. It takes some getting used to but it is marvelous if you have the patience to learn from it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=N9to1auUNTk
Sorry, couldn't resist posting one more interpretation of the Canon on this thread.
Sorry, couldn't resist posting one more interpretation of the Canon on this thread.
I am not too good on names, who wrote it, remembering the artist, etc. and have NO musical talent, but love a wide range/variety of music. I often sleep with I-pod in ear with Daniel Kobialka music (had never heard of him, someone gave it to me, love piano), or anything soothing and works better than a sleeping pill :)
......Many people here, including me, suffer from emotional side effects from the drugs we are taking. I am off the tx for 8 weeks now and the demons are still running around my head. I spend a lot of effort looking for ways to dispatch them..........
Sorry to hear that. I'm about 10-11 (?) weeks off and my emotions, moods are getting back to normal. The physical is still struggling, but much better. I was told , again, last week that it often takes 6-12 mths, to fully 'recover'.....and to 'knock it off' on trying to go back to normal pace. I believe him now!
It'll soon level off, Eric. You had a long tx, did fabulous thru it. You post the deepest, most interesting post, stories, comments. I am glad to hear ...." it actually put me at peace for the first time in a year! "......as religion, 'higher power', God, those beliefs are for each to chose in their life's and I have always felt there has to be more than ‘seen' in life. Even if all are wrong, if it helps a person feel peace, feel happiness, it can't be a bad thing.
Thanks for post that always make you think good thoughts :)
LL
One of the most tragic and amazing things about Beethoven is that he wrote the 9th symphony after he was completely deaf. He never heard it played!
There was a Swedish explorer by the name of Jan Lindblad he has been dead for + 20years i think.
He once went to the rain forests of Amazonas, where he meeted with an indian tribe that never had been contact with the outside world before.
10years later he went back and visited them a second time.
this time he had brought a tape recorder and he first played some music of ABBA for them which didn´t impressed them much.
I think they just thought it was some funny noice.
Then he played Bethhoven symf. nr 5 or it could have been the 9th, anyway the whole tribe sat absolutely still and silent for as long as the music came out of the speakers.
When the the music was over they begged him: please make that sound that will make us fly like birds again.
He once went to the rain forests of Amazonas, where he meeted with an indian tribe that never had been contact with the outside world before.
10years later he went back and visited them a second time.
this time he had brought a tape recorder and he first played some music of ABBA for them which didn´t impressed them much.
I think they just thought it was some funny noice.
Then he played Bethhoven symf. nr 5 or it could have been the 9th, anyway the whole tribe sat absolutely still and silent for as long as the music came out of the speakers.
When the the music was over they begged him: please make that sound that will make us fly like birds again.
i'm not much of a classical music lover,but i sure get the same transendental feelings from great jazz :...nina simone,holly cole singing or thelonius monk at the piano does it for me-spiritual,spine tingling , outa body and GREAT blessed relief from this mortal coil...good thread mr A.....
i have been finding great satisfaction in listening to edith piaf lately... actually just finished watching the movie "la vie en rose"... as far as side effects - who knows, i take my last dose of telaprevir tonight, then (hopefully 12 more weeks of riba & interferon), and i think i've lost all is what is left of my mind. so, for me, music is of great comfort - whatever soothes your soul (and mind) is the best ticket i've found lately. not to mention a loving, supportive family who is beyond patient with me. i remember my doctors and nurses saying (in my previous 2 rounds of treatment), that although the body starts to feel better, it can take 3 plus months get get all the meds out of our system. you're a strong man - hang in there, and know you're not alone.
peace & blessings,
w.c. missy
peace & blessings,
w.c. missy
I have to confess that Handel is not my favorite composer. The most interesting thing about music is what wyntre9 said - that it is a shared experience between the composer, the artist that interprets the music and the listener.
I think Marion Anderson's interpretation of Handel is nothing short of genius and that combination is what moved me so much.
I think Marion Anderson's interpretation of Handel is nothing short of genius and that combination is what moved me so much.
As a long time musician/performer/teacher, I have to confess some of the most perfect moments in my life were those when I was playing Bach, or mozart, Vivaldi and Beethoven.
When a musician plays the notes written by the masters it's like you are in their heads - it is a very intimate experience, something like the relationship between a reader and the great works of literature but different in that it is shared, whether with other musicians or with an audience, or sometimes just with the universe as one opractices repertoire alone..
It truly is a miracle.
When a musician plays the notes written by the masters it's like you are in their heads - it is a very intimate experience, something like the relationship between a reader and the great works of literature but different in that it is shared, whether with other musicians or with an audience, or sometimes just with the universe as one opractices repertoire alone..
It truly is a miracle.
These posts were so comforting...I ran and put on Mahalia Jackson while I was reading them! She is also so uplifting....gospell music in general enlightens me. I don't think you have to be a believer to be inspired by spiritual music. I love Shubert's Cello concertos also, they are so hauntingly beautiful....like being sung a lullaby by an angel.
I consider myself Spiritual not religious. I try to take a little of the best of every religion without being part of an organized religion. My spirituality will be what gets me through this ordeal, so I know I need desperatly to hang on to that faith, especially now.
I have had genuine miracles in my life...where I truly felt the hand of "something" reach down and pull me up out of many dangerouse and life threatening situations. I don't believe in coincidences, In every instance I was about to be hurt something or someone showed up just in time to save me.
Now I find myself after years of peace and good health once again facing a life threatening situation...all I can do is pray that, that hand whatever it is...will be there for me again. And I am trying to think that somehow having this virus is going to have some kind of positive effect on my life or perhaps someone elses life. I admit it is hard to think that now and not feel scared to death, but very often the most horrible situations and challenges bring about monumental changes in ourselves and the world.
I was just fortunate enough to be involved in a mandala healing ceremony, with some of the Dalai Lama's monks. I was blessed by them and though I am not a Buddhist per sei...the energy and comforting I received was transforming! People even brought their sick animals to be blessed...it was so very uplifting... the chanting and yes the music... these are thing that we all need to hold on to..... in one word the "Faith" that we will all live long happy lives once again.
Thank you all for being here and sharing your selves so openly. I feel so fortunate I found this group.
Let the music play on!
I consider myself Spiritual not religious. I try to take a little of the best of every religion without being part of an organized religion. My spirituality will be what gets me through this ordeal, so I know I need desperatly to hang on to that faith, especially now.
I have had genuine miracles in my life...where I truly felt the hand of "something" reach down and pull me up out of many dangerouse and life threatening situations. I don't believe in coincidences, In every instance I was about to be hurt something or someone showed up just in time to save me.
Now I find myself after years of peace and good health once again facing a life threatening situation...all I can do is pray that, that hand whatever it is...will be there for me again. And I am trying to think that somehow having this virus is going to have some kind of positive effect on my life or perhaps someone elses life. I admit it is hard to think that now and not feel scared to death, but very often the most horrible situations and challenges bring about monumental changes in ourselves and the world.
I was just fortunate enough to be involved in a mandala healing ceremony, with some of the Dalai Lama's monks. I was blessed by them and though I am not a Buddhist per sei...the energy and comforting I received was transforming! People even brought their sick animals to be blessed...it was so very uplifting... the chanting and yes the music... these are thing that we all need to hold on to..... in one word the "Faith" that we will all live long happy lives once again.
Thank you all for being here and sharing your selves so openly. I feel so fortunate I found this group.
Let the music play on!
You're very welcome.
What I meant was, I feel more in touch with a Higher Power when listening to music wrtten in a major key as opposed to a minor. I love minor key blues, but I don't find a transcendant experience in them
The third song I posted, Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, has been recorded in many different forms. I seem to find a spiritual core in all of them, whether it be a children's choir or a rock band playing the song.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kGrhzCgy_bg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jA9DmSfufSQ
What I meant was, I feel more in touch with a Higher Power when listening to music wrtten in a major key as opposed to a minor. I love minor key blues, but I don't find a transcendant experience in them
The third song I posted, Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, has been recorded in many different forms. I seem to find a spiritual core in all of them, whether it be a children's choir or a rock band playing the song.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kGrhzCgy_bg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jA9DmSfufSQ
My father was a professional musician - he was a violinist. I am the only male descendant of my Grandfather that is not a musician.
I remember as a young boy going with my father to the homes of wealthy people and watching him play string quartets. The musicians would sit down with their instruments and all start to argue about tempo. They would tap their bows on the music stands to show what they meant. This could get quite heated, but then, as if some magic had entered the room, their would be a look of acknowledgment and agreement on their faces; they would stop talking, get very serious and the music would start to flow in perfect harmony.
Meki: I love your description of the ice crystals!
Desrt: Thanks for the links. I don't know what music you are referring to by D Major.
Evangelin: Yes- Bach is in a class by himself. I remember the first time I heard the St Mathew passion; I was in Riverside Church in Manhattan. The pipe organ was magnificent and the choir matched it. The feeling of the church and the music was overwhelming. That was in 1960 and I still remember it.
All: If you have never heard Marion Anderson sing, you owe it to yourself to listen to her. She stopped recording serious classical music in the 60s when age impacted her voice. She is considered one of the greatest contraltos of all time and one of the greatest singers in general.
If anyone cares to send me a PM with your email addy, I will try and create an MPG file and email it back to you. I will do that tomorrow assuming Itunes cooperates.
Eric
I remember as a young boy going with my father to the homes of wealthy people and watching him play string quartets. The musicians would sit down with their instruments and all start to argue about tempo. They would tap their bows on the music stands to show what they meant. This could get quite heated, but then, as if some magic had entered the room, their would be a look of acknowledgment and agreement on their faces; they would stop talking, get very serious and the music would start to flow in perfect harmony.
Meki: I love your description of the ice crystals!
Desrt: Thanks for the links. I don't know what music you are referring to by D Major.
Evangelin: Yes- Bach is in a class by himself. I remember the first time I heard the St Mathew passion; I was in Riverside Church in Manhattan. The pipe organ was magnificent and the choir matched it. The feeling of the church and the music was overwhelming. That was in 1960 and I still remember it.
All: If you have never heard Marion Anderson sing, you owe it to yourself to listen to her. She stopped recording serious classical music in the 60s when age impacted her voice. She is considered one of the greatest contraltos of all time and one of the greatest singers in general.
If anyone cares to send me a PM with your email addy, I will try and create an MPG file and email it back to you. I will do that tomorrow assuming Itunes cooperates.
Eric
Eric - Just open the door and let them fly south for the winter.
*grin*
No seriously --- music soothes the beast... It really depends on your preference for music --- but I have gone to an opera before and been transcended... Or at firm peace within myself - simply by hearing and feeling the music that was created in front of me.
I have also had that peace happen when I'm alone driving somewhere unusual --- and I think to myself --- wow - this must surely be the work of God.
I, too, am agnostic. Through a history of studying religions, I found that none fit me --- not because of what or who I am - but because I felt at all inner cores, religions were self serving. And that hurt my inner sense of equality. I don't know if that makes sense to others - but it is what brought me to the realization that I could not find an absolute certainty that there was a true religion.
However, that being said --- I have felt that same peace... And it amplifies at times to include my entire day --- and I love those.
Examples:
Driving in an area of Chugach/Palmer/Wasilla area one frosty morning after a snow --- the ice fog had gone through and left everything crystallized. The tree branches were swooped over the roadway and formed an arch that sparkled and from which icicles hung.
I was the first car driving down the road and it was pristine - and awe inspiring. If I could have had a camera - it would have never caught the breathless amazement I felt when I saw the spectacle.
I stopped for about 5 minutes and shut off the engine of the car - there was a deep, profound feeling inside of me that said --- I am in the presence of something much more than I can understand.
Another time - was when my husband and daughter - as an infant - were asleep together on the bed... For a moment - it felt rapturous to look at them breathing perfectly together I had to stand there and just cry.
And every once in awhile when I am sitting on the beach --- watching the waves pound up against the shore... I get that feeling.
So ---- I can totally understand what you are expressing.
I'll have to listen to that recording... In fact - both that you mentioned.
YOU ALWAYS liven up my day Eric!
Meki
*grin*
No seriously --- music soothes the beast... It really depends on your preference for music --- but I have gone to an opera before and been transcended... Or at firm peace within myself - simply by hearing and feeling the music that was created in front of me.
I have also had that peace happen when I'm alone driving somewhere unusual --- and I think to myself --- wow - this must surely be the work of God.
I, too, am agnostic. Through a history of studying religions, I found that none fit me --- not because of what or who I am - but because I felt at all inner cores, religions were self serving. And that hurt my inner sense of equality. I don't know if that makes sense to others - but it is what brought me to the realization that I could not find an absolute certainty that there was a true religion.
However, that being said --- I have felt that same peace... And it amplifies at times to include my entire day --- and I love those.
Examples:
Driving in an area of Chugach/Palmer/Wasilla area one frosty morning after a snow --- the ice fog had gone through and left everything crystallized. The tree branches were swooped over the roadway and formed an arch that sparkled and from which icicles hung.
I was the first car driving down the road and it was pristine - and awe inspiring. If I could have had a camera - it would have never caught the breathless amazement I felt when I saw the spectacle.
I stopped for about 5 minutes and shut off the engine of the car - there was a deep, profound feeling inside of me that said --- I am in the presence of something much more than I can understand.
Another time - was when my husband and daughter - as an infant - were asleep together on the bed... For a moment - it felt rapturous to look at them breathing perfectly together I had to stand there and just cry.
And every once in awhile when I am sitting on the beach --- watching the waves pound up against the shore... I get that feeling.
So ---- I can totally understand what you are expressing.
I'll have to listen to that recording... In fact - both that you mentioned.
YOU ALWAYS liven up my day Eric!
Meki
http://youtube.com/watch?v=OZoqU_-J-UY
http://youtube.com/watch?v=prNxeq3t8XQ
I prefer D major.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6wpPk8qk3uQ
But I understand what you're saying about music. What I listened to was a huge indicator of where I was emotionally during treatment, and also a powerful tool for coping without ADs.
I was also raised agnostic and found that prayer was probably what helped the most.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kGrhzCgy_bg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=prNxeq3t8XQ
I prefer D major.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6wpPk8qk3uQ
But I understand what you're saying about music. What I listened to was a huge indicator of where I was emotionally during treatment, and also a powerful tool for coping without ADs.
I was also raised agnostic and found that prayer was probably what helped the most.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kGrhzCgy_bg
This was very interesting. There was something extraordinary about some of this classical music...like God was involved. I have had a special relatioship with Bach. His music calms and soothes my nerves and makes me able to think clearly. My oldest son used to say, "Mom, should I put on Bach?",when I'd get that look like my head was going to fly off. I can have a really bad tension headache and listening to Bach can just melt it away. I'll have to try Handel's Messiah.
In the Bible, King David (before he was king) would play on a harp to soothe King Saul's demons. (It described it as something like a bad spirit perplexing him I think)
Thanks for sharing and I will say a prayer for your peace.
Ev
In the Bible, King David (before he was king) would play on a harp to soothe King Saul's demons. (It described it as something like a bad spirit perplexing him I think)
Thanks for sharing and I will say a prayer for your peace.
Ev
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