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Avatar universal

Absolutely Horrified.

A few months ago, I dumped my ex-boyfriend who was a manipulator, liar, and abuser.  I found out after the fact that he cheated on me, but I was never sure who with or how many partners.  I understand that determining who gave you an STD is insignificant.  But since we broke up, I've had a couple sexual encounters, but used protection both times.  In any case, I noticed a bump on my penis about two weeks ago.  It appeared about midway up the shaft on the front of the penis.  I have somewhat pronounced fordyce spots on the lower part of my penis, and I'd recently shaved the shaft of my penis, so I figured it was probably just an ingrown hair.  I ignored it for awhile, but then one night I noticed that it was still there and became concerned.  I picked at it and stupidly attempted to pop it with a needle.

The spot does not appear to be blister-like...just a sort of whitish bump underneath the skin.  It doesn't hurt, it hasn't burst on its own, it doesn't itch.  Last week, I did feel somewhat sick, but I wasn't tired or achey...just had sinus drainage and a mild sore throat.

Recently, I discovered a similar looking bump on the other side of my penis shaft.  Both appear somewhat pimple-like, not warty, and not much like a blister.  The first bump is slightly red because I picked at it with the needle, but over all, they're both pink at worst.  

I finally decided that I had to have some peace of mind so, yesterday, I went to the school doctor.  I am a 26 y/o grad student.  I have been there a few times (as I'm very paranoid about STDS), but the doctor that saw me this time was new and unfamiliar to me.  She was very brief and non-compassionate as she said..."Oh well, they look like the could possibly be herpes.  We'll have to do a test."  So, she set me up with a barrage of STD tests...most of which I'd already had in the past 4 months, but I appreciated her thoroughness.  Still, she asked the nurse to set me up for an HPV test, which has me second-guessing her knowledge of STDs considering that HPV exams for men consist only of visual inspection, and biopsies are rarely done as men are assumed to have HPV regardless.

2 years ago, I was diagnosed with internal, anal dysplasia.  I have come a very long way in terms of coping with my HPV diagnosis.  However, the prospect of having both HPV and HSV seems absolutely horrifying and devastating to me.  I just don't know if I could handle that shock.

I should have my results by the end of the week, but I cannot think about anything else.  I have obsessively researched herpes and the info only worries me more.  While my bumps don't fit the typical description, others say that herpes lesions often do not.  Can anyone offer me any words of wisdom?  Do you think it's really herpes or am I just being a hypochondriac because my HPV diagnosis somewhat traumatized me.  For a very long time, I was unable to think about sex without thinking about HPV.  Two years later, I sort of laugh at how dramatic I was.  But.........I really don't want to go through a psychological trauma like that again.

In fact, a scare like this makes me wish I had never lost my virginity.  :-(
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1964490 tn?1325494222
My HSV-2 test just came back positive. I've suspected it for years and have taken acyclovir, used condoms and obstained when appropriate. I also tell anyone I'm going to sleep with that even with a condom there is a change that they can get it because of shed viral cells.

The person that gave me the virus lied and they were a RN -- yet they chose to infect me anyway. If I (female) would have just demanded that my husband use a condom when I saw what he said was a zipper nip. I might be healthy today. People trust no one and check people's junk :)
Helpful - 0
101028 tn?1419603004
glad you got some peace of mind :)

ask for an anal pap with hpv testing the next time you follow up on your bottom. If the hpv is gone, no reason to still be worrying about transmission to a partner :)

protected oral sex is important. educate all your friends about it too so you all can start being more sexually educated and protect yourselves better :)  

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think that usually when people get good test results they don't come back to blogs like this to tie up the post.  I got my test results back for everything (hpv excluded since there's no test for it).  This ingrown hair cost me a weeks worth of paranoia and 350$ in tests (since I don't have insurance).  But now I have peace of mind that I am negative.  I hope that someone will read this post and see that it's VERY VERY likely to not have an STD.  I'm not saying you shouldn't get tested.  Of course you should.  But......I always assume the worst.  In this case, it made the best feel much better.  Good luck to everyone!
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Avatar universal
Oh and....when I was diagnosed with HPV, I had only ever slept with two people and I had been in committed relationships with both.  4 years with my ex girlfriend and 1 with my first boyfriend.  Overall, I think my sex partner "tally" is lower than most gay men.  I typically don't do NSA deals though I can't deny that I have before.  But I ALWAYS use condoms with penetration (which I don't do much anyway...especially since my surgery).  But with that said, I haven't regularly used condoms for oral.  

I know it's recommended, but I don't think I've ever met a person (friends included) who claim to use condoms for oral.  In light of what I hope is just a scare and a wake-up call, I plan to be much more......well, smart...sexually.
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Avatar universal
Hey!  Thanks for the awesome response.  I certainly hope that it's just a pimple, clogged pore, papsule, or folliculitis.  When I poked at it with the needle, nothing came out.  There was maybe a needlepoint's worth of blood.  Looking closely at the second spot, there appear to be small, fine hairs close to it.  The second bump isn't at the "hair-line" of the pubic area, so I was worried.  But it seems like it may just be an ingrown hair after all.  I am hoping!!!!!

As for the HPV.  I had to have anal surgery two winters ago.  Actually it will be a full two years at the beginning of December.  I have not had anal pap smears.  My colorectal surgeon did regular check-ups every month for the first year.  It was (no exaggeration) the most painful ordeal I have ever experienced in my life.  Now, I see my surgeon regularly every three months.  And I believe after my next visit, will start seeing him every six, just to be sure.  I definitely keep up with that, check for it regularly.

My doc (and even the family practitioners I've asked to gimme occasional check ups as I'm an admitted worry wart) has consistently said I'm good, healed, and shouldn't worry about it any longer.

Still, I always tell my partners.  Luckily, I have never been denied a date for it, though it's still something that pains me to bring up.  But I've done so much research, I feel like I could teach a damn class on it, haha.  And I think that the people I've dated since respect how informed I am.

In light of all that, I can logically see that a pos hsv2 result wouldn't be the end of my life.  But I just.......man, I really just want to be negative!!!  Thanks for your support and keep me in your thoughts!  :-)
Helpful - 0
101028 tn?1419603004
you can easily pop a herpes lesion and you couldn't do that with this.

certainly continue to follow up on it as needed.

did they do a rectal pap for you for hpv testing?  I'm guessing not from the sounds of your post.  

the rates of hsv2 infection in gay males is as high as 60% in the US. It's certainly something to be aware of and tested regularly for especially since it increases your risk of hiv. Odds are your partners aren't getting tested for it either so it's important to ask about specifically.  if you typically have more random partners, remember condoms do work if used properly. use them for both giving and receiving oral sex . also they need to go on when the clothing comes off. waiting until just penetration increases your risk of std infection.  

if your hpv was 2 years ago and hasn't returned, odds are you've cleared the virus now.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your comment.  I'm always really responsible about getting tested and about being safe sexually.  So, I decided to go to the doc, but ahhhhhhhh I'm freaking out!  I can't wait til that test comes in.  It's awful to discover you have an STD.  I mean, generally, they are more a nuisance than anything (with the exception of HIV of course which is life threatening), but it's been an even scarier prospect since my HPV diagnosis (which I'm glad to say has not recurred in 2 years).  I've actually had nightmares where I find out I have herpes because sometimes I feel like having one STD is bad enough but having two would make me untouchable.

Of course I realize this is untrue but still scared!
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Avatar universal
Well this doesn't sound like herpes. But it's always good to have a blood test to find out your status
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Avatar universal
also...it's possible that they're pink in color because I put a combination of pimple cream and neosporin on them.
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