Last year I got my inital OB of HSV1 in my mouth (not tested but doctor did physical examination and assumed that what it was since I had 10-15 sores). Two weeks after I got checked out I used my spit as lube in a sexual encounter (did not let him kiss my mouth) and I cannot remember if all my mouth sores were healed. I've had a few more single sores in my mouth since then. Fast forward 3 months and I have done thorough herpes research and learned about self transmission. I then begin to freak out because I feel like I've transferred it to my genitals from my mouth because of that sexual encounter. A month after that I start getting tingling in my labia; no sores follow however. Then I start getting pain all the way down the backs and occasionally the fronts of my legs, mostly my right but sometimes both. The tingling gets progressively worse, where I have it every day for weeks on end (on and off) but still no sores or anything. I went to a few doctors and got some bumps checked out, but they were all swabbed, all ended up negative.
I went to my regular physician and told him about the tingling, which is worse in stressful situations, and the pain. He tells me he thinks the pain is just a pinched nerve and the tingling seems to be a manifestation of my anxieties about having transferred my HSV1 to my genitals. I asked to get prescribed daily acyclovir because I kept getting inner mouth sores during my period every month. Fast forward a few more months and the pain in my legs subsides to just random pangs in my buttocks or quad muscles. I still get the tingling but primarily when I'm getting anxious about an ingrown hair being an outbreak, occasionally when I get stressed about something else. I get my first anal fissure around this October, goes away in a few days. It makes me panic but I decide not to go to the doctor because at this point I've gone to the doctor around 12 times for herpes-related anxieties and they all end up testing negative and the doctors are telling me the chances I gave myself gHSV1 are slim to none. Still no outbreaks. Over this Christmas, I traveled and when I got back, I had some runny-ish bowel movements and had lots of tiny fissures that hurt pretty bad, but once again I refrain from going to the doctor, because I have been so many times, those took about 3/4 days to go away. I had missed a few days of acyclovir while vacation as well.
The past few days I didn't take acyclovir, this morning I drank a lot of coffee and didn't eat anything, and I've had two bowel movements today that were kind of soft (not runny like diarrhea though) and burned a little. Now I have another fissure that's pretty sore. I'm panicking and thinking it's gHSV1. Am I thinking too hard about this? I had never experienced anal fissures before (that I can remember) and I've had three in the past year. I don't know if I'm just being hyper-aware because I'm so focused on believing I have gHSV1 or if it actually could be gHSV1. Going to the doctor is getting so expensive just for them to tell me time after time I'm fine, but I still don't have real answers to my random leg pains or my tingling except that it's just a physical manifestation. Do I really have anything to worry about? I've used condoms with all partners except two which were both long term and tested clean. I've never got an HSV blood test but I assume it wouldn't be really helpful considering it doesn't tell the location of infection and I already have HSV1 orally.