Did you have your oral outbreak before receiving the oral sex?
If you did, that means you had hsv1 already, and you can't get it again. You have antibodies which protect you from this.
BPH can cause a lot of your symptoms -
PCR swabs are extremely sensitive, so even though the rash was healing, it probably would have picked up on it being herpes. The next time you get this rash, get it PCR swabbed within 48 hours of it appearing. Don't take anything - stop taking the Valtrex, don't put anything on it - and see what the results say.
If this is genital type 1, you may have gotten it previously, and the BPH is triggering outbreaks you didn't have before. If it is herpes, my guess is that this, combined with the BPH, is making you pretty damned uncomfortable.
I'm not convinced it's herpes, though, so get it checked the next time it appears.
It's really the severity and recurrent rate and the fact I recently had cold sores peaky which are more suggestive of HSV 2 genitally thank HSV 1. However the blood results look quite clearly like only HSV 1 is present. I've done multiple tribe pcr tests which have been negative for everything and a swab test on healing penis rash, again negative for everything including HSV 1.