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Can you get infected After fingering a girl with herpes and touching yourself?,
I have been dating a girl for a while, and before sex, she told me she had Herpes. I didn’t want to back out even though I knew the risks. I wore protection, and did not give her oral sex. There were also no signs of infection anywhere on her body. I had been giving her forplay with my hand, and afterwards, touched my genitals before putting on a condom. It all seemed okay in the moment, but woke up feeling nervous of a possible transfer of the infection. I am aware of shedding, and she takes the anti viral medication (Valtrex). In conclusion, I am wanting to know what risk I am at for having genital herpes.
COMMUNITY LEADER
It looks like you changed your gender. If you need help with that, let me know.
So listen, assuming she has genital herpes type 2, given that she is on Valtrex and you are using condoms, the chances of you getting herpes from her are about 1-2% a year. (You have a better chance of getting someone pregnant using condoms or the birth control pill.)
If you just use condoms OR she takes Valtrex, it's about a 2-3% chance a year, should you all decide to not use condoms at some point.
Herpes (and other STDs) are not transmitted via hands. I'll include some links at the bottom that can help explain why.
If she has never had her herpes typed, she should. It may be herpes type 2, but could also be genital herpes type 1, which happens when someone with oral herpes type 1 performs oral sex on someone and it transmits to the genitals. It's important to know because the transmission rates are different, and the recurrence and shedding rates are really different, and it may affect her treatment choices.
So. If she has hsv2, are you going to be anxious every time you have sex? Is this just something you are getting used to? (Either of these are fair, and you are entirely within your rights to have whatever feelings you have on the matter.) If you don't think you'll ever be able to be at peace with it, and maybe that's not something you know yet (also fair), then let her find someone who will be. She is not a walking, talking biohazard. Obviously, no one WANTS herpes. You just have to be comfortable with the risk.
Here are the links that may help:
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Nervous-about-mutual-masturbation/show/2183476
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Mutual-Masturbation-STD/show/1968429
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/mutual-masturbation-sti/show/1858544
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Understanding-the-risks-of-mutual-fingering/show/1516796
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV---Prevention/Vaginal-fluid-on-hand-touched-inside-of-condom-and-head-of-penis/show/1119533 - read this thread thoroughly. There is an excellent explanation about why certain activities are not risks, and why others are.
This is the Herpes Handbook. It's written by Terri Warren, who is one of the world's leading experts on herpes. It's free. :) https://westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/
So listen, assuming she has genital herpes type 2, given that she is on Valtrex and you are using condoms, the chances of you getting herpes from her are about 1-2% a year. (You have a better chance of getting someone pregnant using condoms or the birth control pill.)
If you just use condoms OR she takes Valtrex, it's about a 2-3% chance a year, should you all decide to not use condoms at some point.
Herpes (and other STDs) are not transmitted via hands. I'll include some links at the bottom that can help explain why.
If she has never had her herpes typed, she should. It may be herpes type 2, but could also be genital herpes type 1, which happens when someone with oral herpes type 1 performs oral sex on someone and it transmits to the genitals. It's important to know because the transmission rates are different, and the recurrence and shedding rates are really different, and it may affect her treatment choices.
So. If she has hsv2, are you going to be anxious every time you have sex? Is this just something you are getting used to? (Either of these are fair, and you are entirely within your rights to have whatever feelings you have on the matter.) If you don't think you'll ever be able to be at peace with it, and maybe that's not something you know yet (also fair), then let her find someone who will be. She is not a walking, talking biohazard. Obviously, no one WANTS herpes. You just have to be comfortable with the risk.
Here are the links that may help:
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Nervous-about-mutual-masturbation/show/2183476
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Mutual-Masturbation-STD/show/1968429
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/mutual-masturbation-sti/show/1858544
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Understanding-the-risks-of-mutual-fingering/show/1516796
https://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV---Prevention/Vaginal-fluid-on-hand-touched-inside-of-condom-and-head-of-penis/show/1119533 - read this thread thoroughly. There is an excellent explanation about why certain activities are not risks, and why others are.
This is the Herpes Handbook. It's written by Terri Warren, who is one of the world's leading experts on herpes. It's free. :) https://westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
