Diagnosed with HSV-2 - Wedding and beyond?

[Herpetic]

I was recently diagnosed with HSV-2. I am about to get married in a few months. I have told my partner about it as well. She is negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2.

I am extremely worried about being married to her and passing this on to her. Simple things like kissing can pass it along, right? There is always asymptomatic transmission. Plus, once we have kids, how would the kids grow up in this household, with me carrying the virus around. I can't kiss my kids/wife even when there is no outbreak, from fear of asymptomatic transmission.

How do married folks do this? What steps do they take? How can they kiss their wife/kids without wondering "What if this time?"? How is sane sex possible? I cannot kiss any part of her body without a cloth on it?
Could I even lay naked with my wife or should I have scuba-suit kind?

I am feeling terrible now :(

[Herpetic]

My IGG result came out at 1.32. Under 0.9 is negative and 0.9 - 1.1 is "may be" and above that is +ve.

I went to my doc. yest and showed her the symptoms - she didn't think it looked like a herpes outbreak.

[Herpetic]

Its a good thing I asked about pictures. This is a medical forum so thought pictures would be treated thus but I wouldn't want to look at someone's genitals either.

I don't know my numbers. We tested twice and the the Dr. said HSV-2 +ve. I'll try to get the numbers from the Dr.

[waringblender]

It's not as low as 1 in 100M. Sorry. But it is low. Not anything to worry about.

Your white spots don't sound like herpes.

Get the results of your testing from your doc. I wonder if you are even positive since you've never had any symptoms.

[waringblender]

What were the numeric results of your test scores? It would be important to know that, especially since you've never had symptoms. Sometimes people test false positive.

How were you tested?

Please don't post pics - I think it's against the rules. Plus nobody wants to look at your genitals or your face. Sorry! We can't diagnose you from out here!

[Herpetic]

Wow, I didn't know it was THAT uncommon. My Dr. said the distinction that HSV-2 is always genital and vice-versa has largely diminished. Is there a way to post pictures on this forum? I can post a picture of the one on my lips and (genital, if allowed), and let you guys take a look.

[taxmeless]

Having Herpes 2 orally is so uncommon that it is highly doubtful. Like 1 in a 100,000,000

[Herpetic]

I have never had symptoms, oral/genetic. But I recently have had a very small cluster of white colored vesicle type on either end of my lips and just one on my penis. I wonder if this is what it is.

So, if I have oral symptoms, I can pass it along to someone, by kissing right?

[taxmeless]

No you cant pass Herpes 2 ( Genital) by kissing anyone. Only through intercouse or rubbing your penis against someone. I would take supressive Valtrex daily to reduce the chances passing it onto to your wife. This will reduce the chances by 50% alone. What's more, use of condoms would be advisable unless you are trying to have kids that night would reduce it by 80%. Overall, expect a 50-50 chance of passing it on over a 30 year relationship if you take precautions when its feasable. Have your wife checked when she is pregnant due to a complication of Herpes and birth. A very small minute chance you can pass it onto the infant but that is extremely dangerous to the newborn. And you will need to take precautions at birth if she has it. Best of luck.

[waringblender]

Every partner I have had has been negative, and I have no reason to believe I've infected any of them. :)

You and your fiance should discuss your being on daily suppressive therapy to help minimize outbreaks and to avoid transmission. You aren't going to pass HSV2 to her through kissing.

You really need to get up to speed on the low risk to negative partners. If all you did was avoid sex when you had symptoms, her risk PER YEAR of contracting herpes is 8 or 10%. You can decrease that risk even more with suppressive medication or using condoms, or both.

Millions of discordant couples are having healthy and normal sex lives where one person has herpes and the other doesn't.

But you need to get up to speed and educate yourself on the two types of herpes.