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Genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with?

Hi All,

So my girlfriend just told me she has genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with here? Should I be concerned?

She referred me to this site if I had any questions and I have been reading up on some information and from the looks of it I shouldnt be concerned as it rarely sheds. How accurate it this?

I am a little concerned because the forums also state that there is a risk but its highly unlikely to spread from genital to genital but what about oral? Am I at risk for catching it orally?

I have been tested previously and am negative for both types of hsv. I always make sure I am tested for everything. I really love this girl and have know her since freshman year in college she is 23 and I am 26. I care about her so much but I'm not sure i want to contract this although she definitely defines and has everytihng I want in a woman. Can someone tell me what genital hsv 1 is and what it does to the body? Am I safe to have unprotected sex with her? We have always used condoms but after shes told me I've been a little less spontaneous in fear that I might contract her hsv 1.

I really dont want her to feel like Im pushing her away but its hard not to feel scared about this.

Is it really just a skin condition?
How come I have not acquired this yet? I have dated a handful of women and none have told me about any type of hsv 1. My gf said everyone has it in the form of cold sores on their mouths but to my knowledge I have not seen anyone with cold sores.

Can someone shed some light as I am very concerned and do not want to leave her without knowing the facts or what I will be dealing with.
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Avatar universal
There's a lot of great info on here. One thing I didn't see- sorry if someone mentioned it already and I missed it- that's worth bringing up is that:

Prior to the development of antiviral drugs, stigma surrounding herpes (oral or gential) was nonexistent.  Current social attitudes are a result of an aggressive marketing campaign by the pharmaceutical giant Burroughs Wellcome (now GlaxoSmithKline) in the 1970s and 80s after acyclovir "Zovirax" was first synthesized.

Don't believe it?   This type of shaping of public opinion is disturbingly common in the pharmaceutical industry...consider male pattern baldness, a once natural part of life now cause for significant mental illness as a result of aggressive marketing by Merck after the development of Propecia.
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Avatar universal
takes up to 3 or 4 months to show up on a blood test, but 12 weeks is usually enough.
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Avatar universal
I took a herpes select blood test and came out positive for hsv1 >5.00 but have never had an outbreak on either genital or oral. ? I had unprotected sex about 3 months ago, would I already have had blisters/sores ? I am very confused if either I had got it from that experience or before it. All my igm antibodies were detected negative after 3 months. Would I still have igm antibodies after three months of exposure. Also How long does it take for igg antibodies to show up ?
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Avatar universal
HI Grace, I recently met a great woman and we have the right chemistry and we really want to be with eachother. We ended up having sex, protected of course but i am a pleaser and i ended up doing oral on her. It was great but a week later she sat me down and told me that she has herpes. I'm very upset but not mad at her . I just wish that she would have told me earlier, am i at risk for catching the virus because of my willingness to please from oral sex either way? Mr. D
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Avatar universal
This was extremely helpful information seeing that I have recently been diagnosed with this.still waiting for results whether or not it is 1 or 2.from the tips on this blog I'm pulling for type 1.it seems to be less risky and will be more reassuring to my 4 year boyfriend whom I have a child with.i have been distraught after finding this out about myself.especially when I found out it lies dormant so there is no way to pinpoint the source.i believe it came from my ex before my current boyfriend.this information has really helped ease my mind and wrap my head around all this.it's good to be informed about this instead of letting it consume myself and my emotions.maybe now I can move forward with my life and understand that I'm not nasty or unattractive because of this.when I get my results saying what type I will most likely have questions for you guys.thanks again!
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Avatar universal
Hi grace, I admired u giving others such great information. My situation n questions are right on the nose like concernedbf123 were askn.. All my test/blood wrk were negative and so was my partner.. But my sore swab was pos for hsv1... I think oral but only reaction was some groin pain and a tiny sore.. Otherwise I felt great! How did I get this? Been with same guy for two years plus.. No problems til now.. Sore cleared up completely with regular antibiotics and I just have a small buttock rash that is slowly subsiding... How do I explain this to him without  him accusing me bc he most likely gave to me.and of course with his negative results n dnt recall symptoms .  How often is the shedding? And likely of transmitting bac n forth to each other? I want to b fully educated on this.. I've been reading everyone's post n most are making me more secure but then some saying how hsv1 oral transmits worse is scaring me. I need true. Facts bc I'm parsnoid like to touch,drink, kiss on cheek, touch my undergarments or any skin contact is deadly . Please give me something to ease my mind!
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2 Comments
Please don't worry at all :) This is a minor skin irritation with an unfair stigma attached to it. Antibodies takes around 12 weeks to show up in a blood test so that may shed some light. A lot of people pick up the virus as children also. The virus cannot survive on a nonliving surface so no need for paranoia. Also, if you and your boyfriend both have hsv1 then you can stop worrying all together about continuing to pass anything on to each other. You cannot ping pong the virus back as once you obtain the virus, as you build up antibodies. Have a read on the more informative websites: herpes.org.uk please rest Easy! This is a minor skin irritation that sometimes recurs, that's all! I have it too! X
Also, the virus can only transmit through mucus membranes (moist soft skin such a mouth or genitals) or a crack in the skin. Avoid kissing anyone or sex during an outbreak (depending on the location) herpes typically shows up on one nerve line, so once the virus settles in your body, you should only ever get symptoms in one location such as mouth, or genitals. Easy to keep track!
1998092 tn?1391242845
Lots of good questions. I'll try to catch everything:

Yes, according to Anna Wald and Terri Warren, there's a good indication that there are "low shedders," but there's no way to guarantee any of us will fall into these categories.

I'm afraid I can't help you with the correlation between the number of visible outbreaks and the shedding rate. I don't recall reading a study that reports an official statistic that connects the two. You are correct - it's the same virus below as above. There is evidence, however, that HSV-1 sheds much less below the waist than it does above, as above is its site of preference. So you'd be at greater risk from contracting the virus genitally via oral sex from someone with oral H1 than you would from intercourse with someone with only genital H1.

In the end, to me, the stats don't matter. All it takes is one time for everything to line up. Asymptomatic shedding is the way the virus is mostly spread.

However! More than half the population has HSV-1. You've certainly kissed lots of girls who have the virus. Unfortunately, according to Terri Warren, up to 90% of people who have either type don't know, because they don't have or don't recognize symptoms.

It's possible your gal has the virus orally, but I suspect that if she does, she acquired it during the same sexual event, or within the 4 months following, before she'd developed enough antibodies to block re-infection in the rest of her body. According to Anna Wald and Terri Warren, once you've achieved "immunity," which occurs sometime after the 4 month mark or so, you are highly unlikely to re-contract the same HSV type anywhere else on your body. We could probably say you definitely won't, but the experts don't like to speak in absolutes.

What this means is that an IgG type-specific blood test for yourself may very well solve everything in one fell swoop. I'd start there. In fact ask your doctor to request they look for both HSV types, just to cover all the bases. If you also have HSV-1, you can just stop worrying.

On top of that, she appears to be taking every step necessary to reduce the risk of transmission to you. In the Valtrex study, the rate of acquisition in couples who were both on suppressive therapy and used a condom faithfully had a zero percent transmission rate. It wasn't the hugest field of enrollees, and we never want to say "zero percent," but in my view this was pretty encouraging result.

You've outlined pretty much every reason to go for it with your gal. Lots of folks are in serodiscordant relationships, happy, healthy, married with kids. I can't see any good reason to let go of a woman who you clearly feel could be worth any risk as miniscule as the one you have. She is far more than her STD status. And finally, you're so much safer with her than with someone else who isn't as aware about these issues as your gal clearly is.

Go get that test and let us know what happens. Best wishes to the both of you!
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your reply and information.

If you could just read what is below and offer any insight that may possibly lesson my stress and worries about this, by god you are a saint.

I have been having a real battle trying to figure out what to do about this, as well as putting this situation and virus into perspective.

I am not afraid of this virus because in the grand scheme of things it is a relatively insignificant infection. i am more so afraid of contracting this virus and then things not working out between the two of us. I am afraid that it will hinder my abilities to find another woman due to the overall social perspective of the virus.

I am guilty of being very ignorant on the subject, because like most of us we are taught to fear STDs in high school/sexED cources etc. I am even guilty of advising a friend to stay away from someone who had openly told him she had HSV... And now for this i feel so terrible and wish i could take back everything i said to him.

If i were to contract this virus from her and we lived happily ever after, then by god i could give two shizz about the virus. Its my fear of contracting it and it not working out that worries me most...

I personally have never seen a cold sore ever in my life, or rather i have never seen anything of sheer significance on someones lip to make me think it was a cold sore. I think my best friend dated a girl who may or may not of had a cold sore every now again, but he doesn't show any signs of cold sores...

If the girl im dating had told me she had a cold sore on her lip at one point in her life say 4 years ago? how would i feel about it? idk what i would think... i would probably be like "cold sore? once? NBD?" and probably would have carried on a relationship with her with no second thoughts...

So should i really look at this any differently from that scenario?

Facts are simple... she has the same exact virus that causes cold sores, only it's in a different region of her body, and it so happens to be her sex organs... She had 1 outbreak... her first and only 4 years ago. Is it really any different than having a coldsore on her lip?

She contracted it from a guy who went down on her with a cold sore... but that tells me she must of kissed him before all this right? so why doesnt she have HSV1 orally as well? (she has never had a cold sore orally)

But then at the same time, i keep telling myself that i could very well have this virus already... I talked to my dad about this. he said he hasnt known of anyone in our family to have a cold sores. but ive kissed a "fair" share of girls in my day... never one with a cold sore i believe.

Any who...

I have not had sex with her yet. I am not that sexually active... never have been because i have always looked for someone to spend the rest of my life with. I have never had sex with anyone i didnt think at one point i would want to spend the rest of my life with. 2 people my whole life and I am 2 years out of college. I really just want to do the right thing here, and i don't want to make any decision i regret...

The most frustrating part about all this is not knowing exactly what i am dealing with. Its the lack of sufficient  information that is bothering the hell out of me. Ive read so much about this and yet nothing is ever set it stone...

So say i don't carry it... that means i can contract it still... She has HSV1 vaginally... She has had ONE initial outbreak 4 years ago, nothing else... The virus supposedly sheds 5% of days roughly 18 days a year. She takes oral meds which supposedly reduces shedding/obs 50%, 18 days now to 9 days... If i use a condom that reduces transmission supposedly by 30% even lessening the likelihood of transmission. 4 years have gone by since her initial and only ob... meaning her body has probably continued to build antibodies which supposedly even more so lessons the likelihood of shedding...

And say we conducted a moderately healthy sexual relationship, sex 1-3 times a week, the odds are pretty damn good that ill never contract the virus wouldn't ya say?

I pretty dag on good immune system should help too wouldnt you say?

Say i carry the virus orally and have never had an OB... the odds of me contracting it genitally decrease even more so...

Also she could very well be one of these "non shedders" and the virus could possibly be dormant for the rest of her life? This possibility has never been ruled out... has there been any indication of the virus doing such a thing above the waste? meaning maybe you had a cold sore when you were a child and then it lay dormant for the rest of life? Has there ever been cases of people contracting the virus and then having no outbreaks or even shed? this has to be a possibility.

I also read something somewhere that the amount of shedding is directly correlated to the amount of OBs a person has...

The frustration with this virus... i tell ya...

I have never been tested for the virus... have never felt the need until now... we have fooled around a couple of times, no oral sex or intercourse... our privates may have briefly brushed together but that's about it.

I apologize for my writing... its more like a series of thoughts than a proper blog post haha.

Thanks again "catinbarefeet" and anyone else who responds...

I feel for all those who carry this virus... live your lives and be happy with who you are. There is someone out there for all of you.

I still dont know what i am going to do about my situation. I could very well continue to see her, who knows maybe i will marry her... But in the end, everything is gonna be alright.
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1998092 tn?1391242845
Hi AnotherconcBF -

1. No, not definitely. However there is still a risk, however small. The condoms only provide about 30% protection. If she knows she's having symptoms, you should both abstain from sexual contact. But the most important thing is that she since is on suppressive therapy, which has been found by research to reduce the risk of transmission 50%, she's doing pretty much everything she can to reduce the risk to you. At least one expert believes that these protections are additive, though it's also possible they overlap somewhat.

2. Yes, you can receive the virus orally if you go down on her without using a barrier. However, genital HSV-1 does not shed as much as genital HSV-2. Nonetheless, all it takes is one time for the virus to possibly transmit. The bigger caveat is this: according to Anna Wald at the University of Washington, about 65% of the population has HSV-1, either above or below (or both). Are you sure you don't already have HSV-1 - have you ever been tested for the antibodies?

3. I have not found any hard research that reports that shedding reduces over time (this is not to say there isn't any). What we know is that for most of us, active outbreaks (lesions) do decrease as the body generates more antibodies and learns to fight the virus better. It isn't possible to know whether we are shedding or not, when there are no symptoms to guide us.

It is also not possible to know whether we have or have not passed it on to a non-H partner who has exhibited no symptoms, unless they get tested 4 months or so after the relationship ends. However, another caveat: based on the official studies, Dr. Wald hypothesizes that there are indeed "low shedders" who may unwittingly enjoy a very low incidence of viral activity that helps prevent transmission. However, there is no way to guarantee that any of us fall into that category, or that any "low shedders" are actually "non-shedders."

4. The virus does not discriminate between the genders. Even if it were true that women have a higher incidence of contracting gHSV1 through intercourse, there is no research that indicates men never contract it that way.

In conclusion, my friend, if your gal is worth the risk, I say take it. The two of you appear to have made all the right decisions with regard to reducing the risk of transmission. Suppressive (daily) antiviral therapy, barrier/condom use, abstention from sexual contact during symptoms, and full disclosure are the steps that encompass the best risk reduction we have available. According to Dr. Wald, about 75% of the population has either or both types of herpes simplex, and about 65% have what your gal has. You might too - go get an IgG type-specific blood test (or better yet, ask for the Western Blot - 99% accuracy) and find out!
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Avatar universal
Hi everyone, thank you all for such an informative thread. After reading this and others, as well as talking to a urologist about HSV1, I am feeling much better about pursuing a relationship with this girl I really like who has told me she had gentialhsv1. I do have a few questions that I think some of you could help answer and that I don't think have been covered in this thread.

1. If I do have sex with her and she is shedding, does that mean I will definitely contract it even with a condom?

2. What are my risks if I were to go down on her?

3. She claims she has never given it to anyone, she is on oral medication, and has not had an out break since the initial. My question is, do these shedding instances decrease over time? Can these shedding instances eventually stop? She contracted it 4-5 years ago.

4. What are the risks of passing HSV1 genital to genital, more specifically from female to male? Has any guy out there contracted hsv1 genitally from having intercourse? I've only read stories in here about females getting it from both oral sex and intercourse.
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1998092 tn?1391242845
The original posted that his girlfriend has GENITAL HSV-1, not oral HSV-1, so yes, there is a possibility of transmission during sexual intercourse, and even during oral sex. Both Type 1 and Type 2 can live above or below the waist.
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Avatar universal
oh my freaking God is just a freakin cold sore if she had the ringworm you wouldn't rub up against her skin.... if she had a cold you wouldn't drink after her and if she had psoriasis dandruff you wouldnt to be licking her scalp! it's all about being aware of your bodies. .. HSV 1 yes its highly contagious if you do dumb s*** like when she has a cold sore you use her toothbrush or kiss her  
hell if she had the pink eye would you share pillows with her would you allow her to touch her eye and then touch you or your eye without washing her hands no its about using universal precautions just get educated
hsv-1 isn't that serious unless your not attentive unaware uneducated and reckless but that's everything in life
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Avatar universal
i hope you didn't break up with your gf over herpes. You obviously didn't hear the last post Grace left for you concerning fear due to lack of understanding. And therefore your friends are fear mongerers out of ignorance on the subject of herpes. Go to councelling, talk to your doctor in person and keep reading about the subject and stop worrying about something you obviously don't understand. Seriously hoping you didn't break a heart out of ignorance :/ that would be. tragedy.
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Avatar universal
If you really care about her and want thongs to work out, don't worry about what others say. But if you're going to live in fear, explain how you feel and go from there. No need to be miserable worrying what if. In the end remember its your decision. Best of luck
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Avatar universal
Good evening grace. I have recently been strucked with hsv1 but it's only orally though, I haven't felt anything on my gentitals at all!! I was wondering will I still be able to engage in sex without problem? Can I still do everything as if it was normal to a person tht doesn't have it.(with a condom though). If I wanna have a child later will that be in effect as well?
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Avatar universal
Stop it!!!  I am dealing with the same situation.  I was hooking up with this guy on and off for a few months, never had an issue.  A few weeks ago we hooked up (he used a condom) and the next week I went to the dr with concerns and found out he gave me HSV1.  My doctor is the absolute best. I  was so nervous and paranoid thinking my sex life was over/I was going to be worried all the time about this, but she made me so comfortable and told me otherwise.  HSV1 is VERY common and most people don't even know they have it.  As everyone talked about on this thread, it really is not as bad as it seems.  Personally, I think ghsv1 is better than oral hsv1... less outbreaks (possible to have the first and then never again) and no one can even see it/judge us from the outside!  I have done a lot of research - mainly because I want to be informed about what's going on.  My doctor told me that I didn't have to tell the guy who gave it to me - that HSV1 doesn't really require someone to tell the person who gave it to you.  She also told me that if i were to have a one night stand that i wouldn't have to tell the guy -- it is very uncommon for HSV1 to spread if you do no have an outbreak.  I'll be honest, my biggest fear was that I would never get oral again.......and she told me that "do what you usually do, wear condoms and avoid sexual activity if you have an outbreak."  I am still cautious because I would be mortified if I gave HSV1 to someone else.  I also agree with everyone's comments - if you tell your partner that you have hSV1 and they decide not to be with you then you are better off without him/her!!  

we are all OKAY and will be OKAY and are no different than anyone else.  things could be a lot worse...just remember that!
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1 Comments
Absolutely agree with everything you've said :) my poor friend get awful cold sores on her mouth very frequently. I have ghsv1 and I never get symptoms anymore (it lessens over time) I forget I even have it! We need to help educate people so this stupid stigma is eradicated xx
Avatar universal
I was lied to as well. 22 and HSV1 positive. I was messing around with this guy who i was kind of seeing but it was nothing serious. things got hot and heavy and a week later i felt weird. i found a rash i had no idea what it was. so i went to the doctor. i was so embarrassed when they pulled me in to tell me i had an std. Im still devasted a year later. Im not sure what to do and ive certainly had thoughts of suicide. It may not be as bad as the other stds, but knowing something is with you for life is enough to rip you apart. I feel like i cant date anyone now, and i wont find someone.
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1 Comments
Please don't worry at all! This is a minor skin irritation that can sometimes recur, it just has an unnecessary stigma attached to it. 2-3 people have the virus on their mouths and in my opinion, is no different. It's life! Viruses like this are becoming so common. Doesn't mean you shouldn't do all you can to protect potential partners though. Work out what the triggers are for you. Be open and honest with new partners and don't think about it anymore. You can absolutely lead a happy wonderful life, this has not changed a thing :) I have it too! Not a biggy at all. The right person will not think twice about it. Rest easy x
Avatar universal
I was diagnosed with genital HSV June 2012... Around two weeks before my 19th birthday, I had the first sexual experience with my boyfriend, whom I trusted very much and had held a great deal of friendship with beforehand.
The over-stretching/stress on my lady parts (he was a quite large fella) caused the skin to split and apparently gave a very clear passage for the virus to enter my body from his mouth.
He had never once said anything about having this condition.
A week later, the tiny split had turned into a very painful raw area of skin, with about 10-13 teeny tiny sores surrounding.
Upon confronting him after a clear diagnosis (happy birthday!) he said he never had any knowledge of having HSV1.
About a month later, topic of his family came up "my mom was last up visiting when she was taking care of me cause I was having an OB in my mouth.. Etc"
I was in complete shock in the moment, knowing that I was lied to...
A few weeks later, after MUCH thinking, I decided to end the relationship.

The depression and anxiety I went through, only being 19 and having gential herpes, sent me to a horrible place in my mind. I was so embarrassed, and felt I was dirty and like no one would ever love me. I felt rejected and alone in the world.

6 months later I found myself looking up on things, I realized that this is NOT a horrible thing. It is NOT the end of the world, and I feel as though I have become stronger. Emotionally, physically, and mentally.
I started to date again, and am now dating someone who is HSV-free, who knows the risk, and is okay with it.
There definitely were trial & error situations, where I met someone & told them straight up before we decided to escalate. They were scared, and decided to not continue seeing each other.
I on the other hand, was surprisingly not butt hurt. I saw it as a "well, I now know you are not good for me."
The only problem with having this condition? the misconceptions & misunderstandings that the general person has. The lack of knowledge, or the just downright refusal to learn & understand.
People hear the word "herpes" & the first thing that comes to mind is "promiscuous" or "dirty" or "diseased".
This is not always the case.

No matter your personal experience with having HSV, 1 or 2, oral or genital, there are people who will understand & accept you, because you are YOU.

This "ailment" (if that's even what you want to call it) does not define WHO you are, or what kind of a person you are. There are soooooo many people with this, and I encourage everyone reading this to take in every word on this particular forum.

Every word these people have said are awesome! And definitely helpful.
I've had doctors tell me that I will NEVER cease to have ob's, and that they will all be as bad as the first one, and that I should never have sex again.
I say, HA! F*** YOU! And to all the try to bring me down.

It's good to know that there are smart, knowledgeable, like-minded people out there who are dealing with or who have dealt with this, and are willing to share their words of kindness and wisdom.

As for those who are going through the emotionally troublesome phase of this, it gets better. It really does. Learn to live with this, as it is a part of you now. But don't let it stop you from doing what you love most. Almost everything is the same as before you contracted this... The only difference? You grow, you learn, and you accept.

If anything, this has made me a better person.

I wish the best of luck to all! <3
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Avatar universal
I was just diagnosed with HSV 1  about 2 and a half months ago, and like some of the other commenters, it was a terrifying and devstating blow. I'm 29 and single, and caught it from my ex-partner who was having a genital outbreak but didn't realize that the little red mark on his penis was an oubreak.  Once I saw it I freaked out about it, and he tried to convince me that I was being a hypochondriac and that it was nothing.

Low and behold, not too long after I had my first outbreak and the tests confirmed it was HSV 1.  I've since started dating a new person and my anxiety around disclosing this to him is high.  I know that I will not be sexually active with him until I tell him, but trying to find out the right time and way is scary.  That said, I've done a lot of research on this, and some of the most helpful information has come from forums like this where people have shared thier lived experience.  Like someone else has already mentioned, this isn't something to hang a relationship on.  And the reality is that if any future partner doesn't want to be with me because of this, then odds are that the relationship wouldn't have worked out for other reasons down the road anyway.  

Concerned, I hope that you didn't end your relatonship with your gf due to her hsv status...and that you and she were able to work through it.  Thank you to grace and petal for the support that you offer others living with this.

Isn't it funny that if we just had cold sores, rather than genital hsv we probably wouldn't feel obligated to tell people, or afriad of thier response.  Moreover, if people did find out they probably wouldn't even care, despite the fact that it's actually more contagious and more prevalent (and affects your life more, since kissing is so nice to do).  It's only through educating each other and choosing to fight against the stigma that this issue can become more normalized, and people don't need hide it or feel shame due to it.  
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Avatar universal
I was just diagnosed with HSV 1  about 2 and a half months ago, and like some of the other commenters, it was a terrifying and devstating blow. I'm 29 and single, and caught it from my ex-partner who was having a genital outbreak but didn't realize that the little red mark on his penis was an oubreak.  Once I saw it I freaked out about it, and he tried to convince me that I was being a hypochondriac and that it was nothing.

Low and behold, not too long after I had my first outbreak and the tests confirmed it was HSV 1.  I've since started dating a new person and my anxiety around disclosing this to him is high.  I know that I will not be sexually active with him until I tell him, but trying to find out the right time and way is scary.  That said, I've done a lot of research on this, and some of the most helpful information has come from forums like this where people have shared thier lived experience.  Like someone else has already mentioned, this isn't something to hang a relationship on.  And the reality is that if any future partner doesn't want to be with me because of this, then odds are that the relationship wouldn't have worked out for other reasons down the road anyway.  

Concerned, I hope that you didn't end your relatonship with your gf due to her hsv status...and that you and she were able to work through it.  Thank you to grace and petal for the support that you offer others living with this.

Isn't it funny that if we just had cold sores, rather than genital hsv we probably wouldn't feel obligated to tell people, or afriad of thier response.  Moreover, if people did find out they probably wouldn't even care, despite the fact that it's actually more contagious and more prevalent (and affects your life more, since kissing is so nice to do).  It's only through educating each other and choosing to fight against the stigma that this issue can become more normalized, and people don't need hide it or feel shame due to it.  
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Avatar universal
Just read through all your questions and may have some insight. I think you should stay with her, in all honesty the chances of you contracting hsv1 from her ate very low. It's actually safer being with someone who is aware they have this disease as there are so many people out there who have it and dont know, therefore making them less cautious about passing it on. If you think you will marry and have kids with this girl then it woukdnt really matter if you contracted it eventually anyway. Most people with hsv1 only have one outbreak and its very minor. It really is just a skin irritation and in most cases would not be unbearably painful. Hope this helps.
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Avatar universal
I'm reading this as a recently single 24 year old mother who has just acquired HSV 1 genitally from a one night stand (I found out when I spoke to him about it that he suffers from cold sores. great!). Had an awful outbreak but thankfully it was only very bad for a few days and took 2-3 weeks to clear up. I hope I never get an outbreak again but at least I know that if I do, it will never be as bad as the first one.

I was an emotional wreck as well, initially, but after doing a lot of research, realised that it is nothing to worry about. It is basically only a coldsore in an awkward place! The only thing that concerns me is the lack of knowledge that people have about this trivial skin issue and how it will affect me being single. I will not hide this from anyone I wish to have sex with but I know that I am going to find a lot of people who wish to run a mile because of it. Those people will be the ones not worth bothering with, but it's still a horrible notion having to do "the talk" :(

I just wanted to say thank you though to all of you who have been posting on this thread! If I manage to find someone who is still interested, regardless of my HSV 1, but wants to have more reassurance, I can refer them to this! I hope that you, concernedbf123, are no longer concerned because I can empathise with your girlfriend and it is obvious that she needs you. I wouldn't worry about therapy, I would just focus on doing normal couple things and like has already been said, forgetting this whole herpes thing, coz lets face it, even if you did get it, there is a 90% chance you won't have any symptoms anyway and even if you did, it's not that bad really. Asthma and hayfever symptoms are worse! This is all very new to both you and your girlfriend and in time, it won't bother either of you anymore.
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Avatar universal
Yes, it is grace and its rubbing on to me! Shes going for blood work tomorrow, I told her it wasnt necessary but she said it will make her feel better if she does it.

Her ex started calling her apologizing. He was in denial and blamed her and now realizes it came from her.
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101028 tn?1419603004
her anxiety is making her think this way. I hope she finds a decent therapist soon :)

no real reason to think she has hiv either.
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