Genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with?

[concernedbf123]

Hi All,

So my girlfriend just told me she has genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with here? Should I be concerned?

She referred me to this site if I had any questions and I have been reading up on some information and from the looks of it I shouldnt be concerned as it rarely sheds. How accurate it this?

I am a little concerned because the forums also state that there is a risk but its highly unlikely to spread from genital to genital but what about oral? Am I at risk for catching it orally?

I have been tested previously and am negative for both types of hsv. I always make sure I am tested for everything. I really love this girl and have know her since freshman year in college she is 23 and I am 26. I care about her so much but I'm not sure i want to contract this although she definitely defines and has everytihng I want in a woman. Can someone tell me what genital hsv 1 is and what it does to the body? Am I safe to have unprotected sex with her? We have always used condoms but after shes told me I've been a little less spontaneous in fear that I might contract her hsv 1.

I really dont want her to feel like Im pushing her away but its hard not to feel scared about this.

Is it really just a skin condition?
How come I have not acquired this yet? I have dated a handful of women and none have told me about any type of hsv 1. My gf said everyone has it in the form of cold sores on their mouths but to my knowledge I have not seen anyone with cold sores.

Can someone shed some light as I am very concerned and do not want to leave her without knowing the facts or what I will be dealing with.

[gracefromHHP]

I've had hsv2 for 25 years now. I have passed it on twice - once before I had it and once after diagnosed when I was a moron ( some may argue I am still a moron....lol ).  Ever since then, I've never passed it on to a partner and most of my partners have been hsv2 negative. as far as I know, I've never passed on my hsv1 infection.   So yes indeed precautions do work - regardless of what type we are talking about.

as I've said before - 1 out of every 2-3 of us has hsv1 . If you kissed 4 girls in the next year, odds are 2 of them would have it. it really is that common.  Odds that you'd contract it - still very low even though hsv1 orally sheds more. your friends are ignorant and I betcha not a one of them practices protected oral sex or knows about the risk of hsv1 being transmitted to the genitals!!   They probably also haven't had their gardasil shots and believe that the stats of 1 out of every 3 of us has a std in their lifetime are made up.  invite me to hang out with you and your friends - I'll set them straight and it'll only cost you a drink or two :)

we can't make the choice for you whether to continue in this relationship or not. It's your choice to make. if the worse thing you can find wrong with this gal is that she has hsv1 though, better snatch her up and never let her go :)  

[concernedbf123]

Thanks grace that was very reassuring. I will take this info and digest it. One last question did the 2 guys you passed it to already have hsv 1? How did they react once they found out?

[gracefromHHP]

no idea if they had hsv1 or not, that was 25 years ago.  

neither was pleased to find out they had herpes. I would've never known I had it if the first guy hadn't come and talked to me about it. I had had no idea but it was pretty clear it came from me. Ironically I had had sex with 2 guys that same night and only one got it even - imagine those odds!  The 2nd guy was of course pissed that I knew I had it but hadn't told him. was a lesson I learned and have never repeated and always tell before sex now.   needless to say my deception led to the end of the relationship quickly :(  thankfully I've grown up a hell of a lot in the last 25 years!

[concernedbf123]

Lets say if i do aquire hsv 1 am i at risk for encephalitis or meningitia, blindness or ocular herpes

[petal130]

Better chance of getting hit by an asteroid no doubt. Do you know of anyone who has had any of those illnesses? No. And chances are, they, or your grandma or your mom or a number of other people in your life, have HSV1. I have it and never, ever think such thoughts!

I agree with Grace, if this is the worst thing about this girl, you are one lucky guy :-)  

[concernedbf123]

Hi Petal,

yea she is great has a good Job, personality, down to earth, a family and church girl. It was very unfortunate this has happened. Her ex was an ***hole. He left her when she needed him the most and made her feel like s*=t.

Im still concerned about her ghsv1. She still worries that she might transmit this to me. Shes always thinking about it and fears i will catch it because we do like to be intimate. I caught her reading up On it once and then cried when i told her to stop.

Im worried about my risks but try not to think of it because i do see her as someone i will ultimately love. Just a little afraid of this.

One last question (i know ive said this before) being that her ghsv1 is not likely to shed there is a 1-3% chance in 365 days that i will catch hsv 1? If i marry her eventually i will get it?