To be infected on the finger is exceptionally rare. Most men with HSV2 positive wives never contract the virus on their finger through a lifetime of touching. The chances are probably 1 in a 100,000 per episode.
If your partner has genital HSV1, then you are at even less risk as you carry that type.
Just I've had cold sores on my lips for about 5 years now and I'm just really aware more now than ever and it's a constant worry for me that I will spread them elsewhere on my own body or that I will catch them from someone on a different location on my own body. I had some small hangnail tore skin areas on my fingers. Not really red or inflamed around them but they sting a bit when cleaning my hands with germ-x
The odds are too small to worry about and are probably zero in most cases. You'll be hit by falling plane parts long before you become infected elsewhere on your body with HSV1.
What if her strain happens to be different than mine? What if she is type 2 and I'm type 1? Or vice versa? I cannot be sure if she was currently having an outbreak or not.
You need man up here or just leave things alone.
For goodness sake, you're worried about herpes on your finger with a girlfriend with genital herpes. You will need to have sex with her at some stage one would think, right? The risks are known for genital to genital infection. If you can't accept this, then you owe it to this partner to leave her to find a fulfilling relationship.
No one ever wants to date me when I tell them I have cold sores on my lips sometimes
You're avoiding the issue.
And really that is just nonsense. There are 4 billion people on the planet with oral HSV1. Hardly anyone says no on the basis of cold sores, main reason being they have the virus too!
Every time I mention it after a relationship gets to that point they leave wide open. I only fear the virus on my fingers and my eyes. I could live with genital if it happened to happen and I could live with it on my nose. I'm terrified of it getting to my eyes.
Your eyes are already infected owing to your oral HSV1 infection. No need for any concerns there in terms of it 'spreading'. There is only a small chance in your lifetime that you will experience an eye issue.
Good news eh?!
There is no need to disclose an oral HSV1 infection, I wouldn't if there is a lack of appreciation in the partners you meet.
I only mention my oral infection when I think it'd someone I could see myself actually interested in being in a relationship with. The only thing that scares me with this virus is having eye issues one day. I already deal with pink eye issues from time to time, allergy eye issues, and dry eye issues all that could weaken my eyes immunity. And I'm now scared I'll end up with whitlow and make everything worse. I have major anxiety issues with this.
You do have anxiety issues, but these need to be treated separately. If it isn't HSV you're anxious about, it would be falling coconuts or falling plane parts.
There is no issue for most people if they have a viral eye issue. A few drops of antivirals each day into the eye until it passes is all that is required.
I'm just trying to do everything possible to keep it from spreading or getting any worse where it already is. It literally terrifies me when I have a pink eye episode and get put on steroid eye drops which lowers immunity or my dry eyes flare back up and I get put on restasis which has cyclosporine in it which also lowers immunity.
Your body is already doing everthing possible and will be highly successful at doing so. There is nothing in what you describe that will increase the chances of an eye issue with your HSV1 issue.
Time to move on now, good luck!