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HSV 1 transmission?

My GF has HSV 1 and gets cold sores maybe once a year.  She has had them for over 20 years and hardly gets outbreaks (mostly from sunburn lips).  I am negative for HSV 1.  We have had a ton of sex and oral for a year.  Do I need to worry about getting HSV1 oral and genitally from her?  Right now we are avoiding kissing and oral sex.  But she thinks if she has no cold sores actively then we would be ok since we have been all this time.  What are the odds and should I not worry when no outbreak cold sores.  Does the fact she has had them so long help?
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207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
Are you negative by testing, or basing that on symptoms? I ask because 90% of those who have oral hsv1 never get symptoms, and the hsv1 IgG blood test misses 30% of infections.

That said, if you don't have it, you can definitely get it from her when she doesn't have symptoms. We don't have transmission stats, as it hasn't been studied like hsv2 has.

We know that 67% of people under 50 have hsv1 globally. The closer you are to 50, the higher the chance. I'm not suggesting that you try to get it, or don't take chances to not get it, but you are denying yourself kisses from your girlfriend. That's probably not sustainable. You deserve to have intimacy, and she deserves someone who can relax enough to be able to at least kiss her.

Are you just now realizing she has this because she got a cold sore? Is that why suddenly you are feeling stressed about this?

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I'm negative recently from testing. It was the combined HSV 1 and 2 m test. I've never have had any symptoms ever.  Am I being silly avoiding receiving oral and kisses from her?  We previously were like bunny rabbits multiples times a day for year and yes one day she got sun burned on lips and got cold sores and then I asked if she had hsv1.  Was no big deal to her.
I can't say you're being silly, but you may be a bit short-sighted here.

No one wants herpes, or any other virus, right? But herpes is so common, and your gf knows she has it. She can tell you when she is going to get an outbreak, and avoid kissing you or giving you oral sex when that happens, which greatly reduces the risk. It doesn't eliminate it, but does reduce it.

Given that it's so common, and 90% of people who have it don't know they do, your next gf could have it and not know to take any precautions, not take a daily suppressive, and you could end up getting it.

Your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents - a good number of them probably have it.

I don't think it's fair to her that you suddenly won't kiss her or let her perform oral. That's not a great relationship. I understand your reasoning, but she deserves someone who will enjoy those things with her, and from her.

You deserve a relationship where you can enjoy those things as well.

I've had genital hsv2 for 18 years. I don't think I could be with a man who couldn't let himself fully relax and enjoy being with me. It's up to her to decide what she can handle, but would she consider going on a daily suppressive, like Valtrex?

There are things to consider for you, and for her. I'd hate for you to limit your dating pool to only those who test negative, especially when the hsv1 IgG test misses 30% of infections.
I had HSV I/II combo IgM test and the HSV-2 Type Spec IgG <0.91 Ratio.  Both negative.  Should I go get another test that's better?
Also, when a lady is pregnant do they test them for all STDs?  I heard they don't always for HSV2 or HIV.
You need to get a type specific IgG hsv1 test.

The IgM test only looks for new antibodies, which develop with new infections. The IgM test for herpes is highly unreliable and shouldn't be done.

You tested for hsv2 on the IgG. Your gf has hsv1. If you test positive for hsv1, you don't need to worry about transmission.

They always test for HIV at least once while pregnant, more depending on risk.

They don't always test for hsv. They do if there is suspicion, for sure, but it depends on the doctor if they do it otherwise.

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