Herpes is not easily spread statistically it would be very hard to get get herpes properly using a condom. The skin that is covered by the condom is where the virus would be more likely to enter the body because the skin is thinner.
Transmission rates for hsv2 from female to male in couples that have unprotected sex twice a week is 4% you add a condom and that is reduced by 1/2.
Totally agree with Jamie.
We don't have studies on same-sex couples, but typically, men who have sex with men have higher rates of STDs than others. This is probably because of higher rates of anal sex.
We know that for male to female hsv2 transmission, the rates of infection is 8-10% if all you do is avoid sex during an outbreak. I'd guess - and it's purely a guess - that the rates for male to male transmission is a bit higher, if they engage in penetrative anal sex.
I don't know who your partners are, but wanted to include that, just in case your partners are also male/have penises.
Yes, you can protect yourself by leaving your clothing on, but really, that's not fun. And what message does that send to your partner?
If you are that concerned about STDs that you'd not totally remove your clothing, you really shouldn't be having sex until you address your anxiety.