Herpes and devastated

[Deja531]

Last week I felt a bump next to my clitoris I tried putting a few creams on it but nothing worked. It looked like a pimple. I had no burning itching or other symptoms I only noticed it because I felt it when I wiped. After about 4 days I went to the urgicare and the dr said it doesn't look like herpes and I would know if it was an outbreak because of the burning and just feeling uncomfortable. She did a swap and told me just put a cool compress on it. I've done that and it's pretty much gone away. Today I called and was told the swab detected herpes. I am devastated. I made an appt with my gyn for tomorrow. The dr wasn't able to tell me any numbers only that it detected it. I don't know if I have a question or just need support. Should I get a second opinion? Idk what to do next and I feel devastated.

[mkh9]

Deja531,
I was thinking that if it wasn't painful it might not be herpes. I have had a doctor misdiagnose me. Although I did get the outbreak later. Herpes is small clusters of blisters not one big bump. I hope the test was wrong. Some of those quick tests are not that sensitive. They would have to do a PCR (molecular DNA) test on the sore to really tell. Because if they just check the blood the only way to know is if your IgM antibody is positive. Otherwise it could be a past oral infection which about 90% of us have whether we break out or not. In fact this new BF could have it and just not have break outs. So, don't be down on yourself.  I hope he is supportive. If he isn't then he wouldn't stay with you anyway. But I would wait for a more specific test.
mkh9

[Deja531]

Hello, I took another test today at my gyn office, she had a hard time finding it and when she did it was very small she said. But she did another test and said she would rather the culture cause the blood test wasn't as accurate. The test she did today I felt her pick at it in order to get a sample where as the other day when I got the swab I just felt a rub. My results will be back next week and she told me take the valtrex. I am now going through the motions of crying, sorrow, shame, guilt and other feelings. I still haven't
Told BF I just want to wait runtil I get the lab results again. I feel so hopeless n helpless right now.

[mkh9]

Deja531,
I'm sorry you are feeling down. Things will be okay one way or the other.  You BF could have given you Herpes you know. If he did oral on you even if you didn't do oral on him you can get it that way. Or even if he doesn't have breakouts of blisters he still could have it. As I mentioned my husband has never had them in 20 years. I have them all the time orally and once genitally. So, try not to worry about him leaving you. The other thing is I don't know why she did a culture. That cheap but yeah it takes a few days. I read those in the lab and it really only takes about 3 days. But the lab may take longer to get the report to you. PCR is a better way to do it because it is faster. I hope it negative but I hope everything will come out fine for you despite having this. A lot of people have it. Hang in there.
mkh9

[Sleepy12345]

That’s not necessary true. Not everyone’s outbreaks are the same. Mine was just one bump. It didn’t ooze, not a blister, didn’t scab over, wasn’t painful, didn’t itch, no burning feelings, or no tingling. Not everyone has the classic outbreak symptoms. That’s why so many people have it and mistake it for something else since it doesn’t resemble at all what medical sites say it should nor the pictures you see online.

[mkh9]

Sleepy12345,
Did you test positive for it by culture or PCR from the bump? I know not everyone presents the same. As I mentioned my husband doesn't even break out. Others just get lip cold sores. But I haven't seen just one single bump that doesn't hurt. But that is probably why it is missed.
mkh9
mkh9

[Deja531]

I meant to answer they said it was HSV2. I called the urgicare to ask she said I was negative for hsv1. My own dr did the test and said the results will be back Friday so I made an appt for Tuesday. I am not sure which test were performed. The one from the other day the results were back the next day and she just swabbed the area. Today my gyn felt like she took a piece of it or something cause it felt a pop of something while she was collecting the specimen so I am not sure. I have made an appt for tomorrow to see a therapist cause I'm having some not so nice thoughts and I just found a herpes support group that's anonymous here in NYC so I'm thinking of checking it out.

[mkh9]

Deja531
I'm so sorry. So they said it was type 2 not type 1? I am sorry you are so down. Yes please do get counseling. This not the end of the world.  You can take acyclovir for it long term and you will get less outbreaks if you do have type 2. I know it is not great to get a result like that. But lets see if the second test is the same. Still if it is it would be good to talk to others that have it. Did you have sex with your boyfriend? He may have given it to you. Its possible. Well, take this a day at a time. No one wants these kinds of things.  They are uncomfortable and a lot of people have it. I'm here if you need to talk.
mkh9

[Deja531]

I honestly don't know where it came from. I've only slept with my current BF in the two years we've been together. I know I could have had it years maybe? Idk. Idk who the guilty party is :( thank you for talking to me. It's really helping me to calm down.

[mkh9]

Deja531,
Glad to help. I know this is hard for you.  I'm sure if he loves you he won't care. He may have it too. He has been there for two years. That is long enough to know if someone loves you. So I don't think he would leave you. In any case he must have it too and probably doesn't know like you didn't. So try not to be too hard on yourself. It is no one's fault. Also, no one is "guilty" . Herpes isn't always visible. You found it by accident. It wasn't in its normal presentation.  Anyway, I will check my messages here in case you need to talk. Others here can help too.
mkh9

[DumbDecisions2017]

Best wishes with everything.  I'm glad you're getting help.  Whatever happens...you're still a prize, please believe that.  I hope everything works out with your boyfriend.  Take care.

[TB1992]

Deja531,

I’m in the same boat as you are. I started dating my love in February of this year, started having sex shortly after, still in the month of February. Everything was smooth sailing until right after Memorial Day. We had sex and I felt something odd by my clitoris. Went upstairs to the bathroom and saw a red bump, and it was painful. I also noticed what I thought was an ingrown hair on my pubic area, and a chancre sore in my mouth. I’ve never had any of those symptoms before.

I went to my primary doc to get checked out because all this started out like a UTI. It burned when I peed, I had back pain, and the few little bumps in various places. None of them were clusters. My herpes didn’t present the typical way either. That’s why I had no idea, and I’m a nurse! :( I felt so stupid. And I had sex with him while I had sores before I knew what they were. My regular doc did NOT culture the sores. All she did was the blood test which was negative.

June 6 I went to my gyno and she opened up that sore that started to heal and cultured it. By the 11th I found out I was positive for HSV2. I am struggling with how to tell me boyfriend as well. I’m so scared!!! He is the love of my life and I’m so scared he is going to hate me and lose all trust. He has been through hell with his ex wife because she cheated and left so it’s just a mess. I hope your fella will be accepting and stay with you.

[mkh9]

Hi and sorry your test came out positive for Herpes. Did they say if it was type 1 or 2?  The good news is almost everyone has type 1 oral Herpes and so if you had oral sex you probably got it that way and so with Herpes type 1 it usually only breaks out 1-2 times. Maybe 3. It is really hard not to get Herpes type 1 because you can even get it with saliva and that touching your genitals. Most people don't know they have Herpes. But those that do usually get a painful out break. That doesn't mean the ones that don't know don't have it. They don't either break out and/or don't feel the blisters. You can also get your blood tested but since most adults have oral Herpes you would probably be positive for that in the blood for at least the IgG antibody. But you can test for IgM antibody that would tell you if you got a recent or new outbreak. I doubt it. You can have Herpes as a child (oral) from a kiss or whatever, and may not know you have it for years.  I would talk to your doctor about this to have them discuss what you might want to do.  For me I had oral Herpes out breaks (cold sores) and never got genital and was married for 20 years and then suddenly got a genital out break. He didn't cheat. my doctor is sure too. I tested positive only for IgG (the one you have for years) negative for the recent one. So it lives in the nerve cells. It can pop up any time. It is awful. I now get it often when I go to get dental work. It hurts a lot.  So now I use topical acyclovir for my cold sores and I only got one genital out break in years. I am going to start pre-medicating with acyclovir for the dental issues though. There is a Herpes Forum here too if you are interested.
regards,
mkh9

[Deja531]

Thank you so much for the kind words. I am devastated and I feel destroyed. I haven't told my boyfriend yet cause I just don't know how to. I love him very much and I am afraid this will make him leave me which will cause me heartbreak. The dr didn't say which type it was just that the test shows detected. I don't even know what that means other than its positive. I asked her what was the number or percent and she just said it's detected. I have a gyn appt today so I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed that this is a false positive even though that probably isn't realistic.

[DumbDecisions2017]

Is he not the one who gave it to you?

Worry about yourself.  He's not worth your time if he leaves or tries to degrade you for this.

[Sleepy12345]

Totally understand what you’re going through. It’s so traumatic when you find out you tested positive. I felt like my world had ended and i still struggles with the feelings, but it has gotten easier. I too was in a relationship. I told my bf right away. Luckily, I did not pass it on to him. I honestly feel like this has brought us closer. He doesn’t treat me any differently than before and actually helped me get through this dark time. I encourage you to go ahead and let him know. If he loves you, it will be something you can get through together.

[Deja531]

I thank you for the kind words. I really needed to hear it as I am totally down today. Only sleeping a few hours and waking up crying n walking all night. I am scared to tell him but I will tell him soon I guess I just have to com to terms with it. I am not sure if I had it and passed it or he has it, I honestly don't know. I am just afraid of his reaction. He isn't the mean type but right now any rejection will devastate me.  Again I thank you for the kind words I really needed them.

[Sleepy12345]

If you had a positive culture on the bump you saw, then that’s a definite positive because it actually looks for the virus instead of antibodies which is what the IGG bloood tests look for. You could even possibly take a blood test and it might not even show a positive result yet. It took me several months to produce a positive blood test. Sometimes it takes people’s bodies 3-4 months to produce enough enough antibodies to show positive, but a positive culture is definitely a positive. However, if you take the blood test and it’s negative, and you’ve only been with your current bf for 3-4 months or longer, then It’s safe to say you got it from him and your body just hasn’t had enough time to produce enough antibodies for a positive result yet. ITs totally possibly he was the carrier. I had to take a day off from work I was so distraught, cried at work several days, didn’t eat for a week. I understand all your emotions and my heart goes out to you. I promise it does get better. And on the bright side, at least you know your outbreaks will be very mild and not painful that’s if you ever have one again. Were you positive for Genital HSV1 or HSV2 on the culture tested?

[Deja531]

It was positive for HSV2. I have been with BF for two years. But it's mind boggling to me cause idk when I could have gotten it. Also being that it's mild did I miss it before somehow? I have so many unanswered questions. I believe you when you say things will get better. I am scared to death of telling him and losing him. You can't help who u love.

[Sleepy12345]

I agree with you. You could’ve very well have gotten it from him and you guys have been together for 2 years so I think that’s much better than my situation. My bf and I were only together 5 months when I found out. We still have unprotected sex and im not on daily meds. I too have only had one mild outbreak (one spot) and we refrained from sex until it was gone and I took a full round of medication when I noticed it. It’s highly likely he gave it to you. But if not, give him the facts of what’s you can do to keeep from passing it on to him. It’s harder for a woman to give it to a man than vice versa. There’s a 4% chance you can pass it to him if you avoid sex during symptoms and outbreaks with unprotected sex and  no daily anti viral meds. You cut that in half if you add protection and meds. You can look up the specifics. Just present him with the facts when you speak to him. Really it’s just stigma that’s so bad with this. It’s really nothing more than a skin condition if you think about it. Please let me know how he takes it. Honestly I’m glad I told my bf the second I found out because he’s helped me tremendously I couldn’t even pick myself off the floor. Ive struggled with accepting it for a couple months and he made me feel so much better. I’m praying you get the same support.