Avatar universal

Herpes scare and kissing... am I overreacting?


I've got a few questions in mind that are really bothering me. I have tested negative for all STDs about a half a year ago, and have not had any sexual contact, even kissing, with anyone since that. There's something going on with me and this girl, and I have a feeling kisses might be exchanged quite soon.

The problem is, I worry a lot about things and the problem now is that I'm afraid I'm going to give her a STD without knowing about it. Two days ago I hugged my father goodbye since he left for a couple of weeks, and I fear his lips might for some reason come close to my cheeks. Didn't touch my lips of course, and I might be imagining things, but now later on I've come to fear that the contact his mouth could have made with my cheek or around that area could have infected me. My father has oral herpes and I'm not sure whether it's type 1 or 2, so either way I'm quite nervous that I might have somehow got it from that hugging gesture whatever you wanna call it.

I feel really stupid cause I feel like I'm exaggerating the whole situation, but I'm still worried. How unfortunate would you have to be to get oral herpes from a situation like this? If I were to kiss this girl, should I tell her about this small chance that I might have somehow got the herpes from the hug? I know it's probably a minimal chance, but I feel like it's my responsibility to tell her even if the chance is low.

And another thing that's been bothering me is: should you get tested for STDs after kissing someone new? Meaning no other sexual contact besides kissing (could be french kissing). Is it necessary to inform the next person you kiss that you've kissed someone before this person and are unaware if you may therefore be carrying a STD without being unaware of it?

I'm really going nuts with these worries, so all help is appreciated :-)
6 Responses
101028 tn?1419603004
was herpes included in your last std testing?

did you get herpes orally from a social kiss from your father? no you did not.

do you need std testing after kissing someone? no you do not.

Avatar universal
Herpes was not included in my last std testing, and getting the test where you see if you got hsv1 or hsv2 in your blood is very hard to get here where I live. Having a doctor examine sores is pretty much the way herpes is diagnosed here.

I figured I was overreacting, but now the thing is, I'm young and have kissed about 4 different girls in my life, and had one 2 year relationship during which I had sexual contact. This girl I dated had got cold sores since she was born, so I'm guessing that means she was at least orally carrying HSV1. Now we kissed a lot and I'm guessing even some times when she had cold sores. She did some times briefly lick my penis, testicles and the area surrounding it (didn't have any cold sores), so there's of course that risk of me having it in my genitals.

Anyways, it's been over a half a year since we broke up and I haven't got any cold sores. Since the virus is transmitted very easily I'm guessing I probably am carrying it, but I can't really know can I? And the small kisses on my penis and around that area, not actual oral sex though, how probably could they have given me the virus down there?

Now with this new girl, I don't want to give her any disease, and since I can't really test to find out whether I'm carrying herpes nor have I had any sores, what can I do? Should I tell her there's a chance? And I've always lubricated my penis with my own saliva before masturbating so I could have transmitted it to my genitals... so how about that risk, should I talk about that too if we ever get near to having sex? Also, since my father has oral herpes I could have got it anyways during my childhood, right?
101028 tn?1419603004
are you in the US?
Avatar universal
No, Europe.
101028 tn?1419603004
can't help you a lot with how to get type specific herpes igg blood testing in europe. it is available in all countries and it's something both partners should get to know who has what.

most people who have hsv1 orally, don't get obvious cold sores to know it. same with most folks who  have hsv2 genitally don't associate their symptoms with herpes. both partners being tested is the best thing to do.
Avatar universal
Alright I'll have to see what I can do. Thank you very much!
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