I shall start with a brief background. I'm a female from the UK who lives in an Muslim country. Last year (feb 2014) I found 1 sore near the opening of my vagina, I had flu like symptoms but I did not put two and two together thinking the sore was simply an ingrown hair or cut. 5 months later I noticed the same little sore with swollen gland and bingo after plenty of research on google diagnosed myself with Herpes. Now I know you will advise me to go to the doctors but you must understand living where I do, it's not really illegal. I also know for a fact this is what it is and have changed my lifestyle to try and limit the outbreaks. Unfortunately for me each outbreak has been after stress. I can't control stress, my job is stress. I have had 4 outbreaks since then and now this is my 5th. Each less severe than the last. Here is my issue.
I started dating mr.x two months ago. Things are great. He's been my best friend for ages. Anyway he lives an hour flight away and I noticed on flight my ears wouldn't pop (swollen glands) but it wasn't enough to ring alarm bells and warn me. We had sex that night, twice, the next morning, the next evening and at this point I had only those swollen glands to warn me of my coming outbreak which indeed did not. The next day however I woke up to the usual tingling sore sensation around the area of Where the sores occur and knew I couldn't sleep with him again. When he tried I told him I was a little sore from all the sex and that I would give him oral pleasure instead. The position in which I performed oral was lay on my back with my head off bed and him stood over me. He asked me to get to my underwear so he could look at me and whilst I was going about my business he slipped his hands down my pants possible touching the itchy tingling area (no blister yet.) I was ok with this until to my horror when my mouth was more preoccupied with his balls he used the same hand to masterbate himself.
Here's my questions
1) I understand shedding can occur- so there is likely a possible chance he caught it in the two days of sex where I had no vsginal symptoms but I did have swollen glands?
2) if he didn't catch it from this- is there a chance he had caught it but touching my vagina and then touching his penis??
I know eventually I am going to have to tell him but it is so early and I have been usually so aware of when an outbreak could occur I know when not too. This outbreak took me by suprise. I would love some answers to prepare myself for the next coming weeks.