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Herpes transmission through masturbation??

I shall start with a brief background. I'm a female from the UK who lives in an Muslim country. Last year (feb 2014) I found 1 sore near the opening of my vagina, I had flu like symptoms but I did not put two and two together thinking the sore was simply an ingrown hair or cut. 5 months later I noticed the same little sore with swollen gland and bingo after plenty of research on google diagnosed myself with Herpes. Now I know you will advise me to go to the doctors but you must understand living where I do, it's not really illegal. I also know for a fact this is what it is and have changed my lifestyle to try and limit the outbreaks. Unfortunately for me each outbreak has been after stress. I can't control stress, my job is stress. I have had 4 outbreaks since then and now this is my 5th. Each less severe than the last. Here is my issue.

I started dating mr.x two months ago. Things are great. He's been my best friend for ages. Anyway he lives an hour flight away and I noticed on flight my ears wouldn't pop (swollen glands) but it wasn't enough to ring alarm bells and warn me. We had sex that night, twice, the next morning, the next evening and at this point I had only those swollen glands to warn me of my coming outbreak which indeed did not. The next day however I woke up to the usual tingling sore sensation around the area of Where the sores occur and knew I couldn't sleep with him again. When he tried I told him I was a little sore from all the sex and that I would give him oral pleasure instead. The position in which I performed oral was lay on my back with my head off bed and him stood over me. He asked me to get to my underwear so he could look at me and whilst I was going about my business he slipped his hands down my pants possible touching the itchy tingling area (no blister yet.) I was ok with this until to my horror when my mouth was more preoccupied with his balls he used the same hand to masterbate himself.

Here's my questions

1) I understand shedding can occur- so there is likely a possible chance he caught it in the two days of sex where I had no vsginal symptoms but I did have swollen glands?

2) if he didn't catch it from this- is there a chance he had caught it but touching my vagina and then touching his penis??

I know eventually I am going to have to tell him but it is so early and I have been usually so aware of when an outbreak could occur I know when not too. This outbreak took me by suprise. I would love some answers to prepare myself for the next coming weeks.

Thanks :)
3 Responses
3149845 tn?1506627771
1. With no sores at the time, the risk he contracted herpes from 2 affairs would be close to zero. Those most at risk for contracting herpes are in long term mono relationships where one partner is infected.
2.no, not by touching
3. But you really should confirm you have herpes before making this conclusion.
Avatar universal

So I took your advice and got tested for both Herpes Virus 1 and Virus 2 and both tests came back negative?? Infact every STD came back Negative they checked for everything. I had a sore that was almost healed?

I'm positive this is genital herpes as my symptoms point to it - any idea or is this normally the case it comes back this way? I've posted a question asking this but no one has replied. See below description of each breakout - i have had 5 since jan 2014.

Brief description of each break out - I experience flu/cold like symptoms for a few days, then a slight pain and itching top of my left thigh near my buttock and near the break out then I get a small blister right at the opening of my vagina on the left, which then bursts and leaves a small sore. Initially there where two sores but now it is normally only one and the whole break out lasts around 7 days.

3149845 tn?1506627771
Symptoms dont matter, your test is what matters and its negative for herpes
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